Stay home; back to work; child care

CynRO12 · August 2014

26 weeker mom of twins here;

So I switch between this forum and the twins forum. Recent posts on the twins forum were questions about work/childcare.

My questions are to moms here who's little one(s) are out of the NICU.

1) obviously none of us planned for our kids to be early. What's your experience been with your employer?

2) since your baby(s) are preemies; did your pediatrician suggest not to enroll in any sort of day care?

3) lots of people talk about nanny's taking care of their twins as they go back to work since the price is comparable to daycare. What is the going rate these days?

I'm currently in limbo with my employer since my full time job is at the hospital with my twins. (Not to mention I'm not in the right state of mind to even think about anything but my children!)
I told them how the nurses/Dr.'s say they will go home around their due date BUT it could be earlier or later.
And on top of that, when they do come home it's like starting my maternity leave all over again. Getting them acclimated to our home, feeding schedule, ect.

What has your experience been with work, childcare, or ultimately staying home?

PhillyGal34 · August 2014

My son was in for 26 days and I was on bed rest at the hospital for about 5 days before that so one month of my mat leave was used in the hospital. The neonats said not to put him in dc for the first year or at least not until after rsv season. I took 13 weeks leave but work would have let me take longer. I'm the primary income though so me going unpaid longer was really hard. A family friend then watched him at our house for about 4 months then dh took 4 months leave from work to stay home with him. Ds started dc at 10.5 months in April. He's now over two and doing great.

Best of luck. Every situation is different but you will find something that works for you!!

takmjs · August 2014

Congratulations on your twins!

I had a 30 weeker who spent exactly 7 weeks in the NICU. I was on bed rest for 6 weeks (5 of which were in the hospital) before she was born, so that ate up half of my FMLA. I was due to go back to work, according to my 12 weeks of FMLA (we had one freebie week due to Christmas week) the day after she came home from the NICU, but I was in no way ready to do that mentally. I took an extra month off before going back to work, but that meant I was required to pay our full insurance premium (about $1600) rather than our normal 10% of that. That, and the fact that I am the main income in our family, meant I had to go back after just one month, even though I wanted to stay home another month or two beyond that. Ideally, I would be a stay-at-home mom, but with my husband being a farmer, I am the one with insurance and I can't leave that--especially with a history of a high-risk pregnancy and NICU stay.

It sucks that bedrest and NICU stays count toward your FMLA, but I understand that's how it has to be. Our case is a little unique in that my husband is a stay-at-home dad, and I wasn't breastfeeding by the time my daughter came home from the NICU, so he could handle her feedings and care immediately.

To answer your questions:

1. My employer was really good about giving me more time off. I kept them in the loop on the major things (bed rest, delivery, NICU stay time), and was constantly asking questions about how much more time I had left in my FMLA time.

2. Our doctor did suggest no daycare for a while, if that was possible. We knew our daughter would be staying at home with my husband, but with me being a teacher, I was bringing home kid germs every day, so I was extra careful. (There was an ecoli outbreak at our school that year, so everything at school was getting disinfected every night even more so than normal.) Some days, I would shower as soon as I got home, before I held her, just to be sure. She came home during RSV season, too, so she got Synagis shots before and after she left the NICU.

3. I have no idea what nannies cost. We live in a rural area, so I haven't heard of a single person having a nanny, but it sounds like a great alternative to daycare.

Just another note. In terms of finances, I have short- and long-term disability, but my payments didn't come until the last week of my daughter's NICU stay, and they came as one lump sum. They were supposed to come sooner than that, but it took a long time for all the paperwork to get filled out and processed, I guess, so heads-up on that. It pretty much covered the cost of my missed work, but I still had that month of unpaid work plus paying my insurance. Budget where you can, and ask for help--meals, gas money, whatever people are offering.

Best of luck to you with your employer. I hope they're flexible with you! Enjoy those twins!

Brummy14 · August 2014

Our 29 weekers spent 81 days in the NICU -- and DD2 came home on o2, so we definitely weren't able to do daycare. Good luck to you in whatever decision you make!

1) obviously none of us planned for our kids to be early. What's your experience been with your employer? They were incredibly understanding -- but already have a great mat leave policy. Obviously the NICU time counts towards my disability/FMLA, but many women take off up to a full year leave and can still come back (and that's will a full term baby!) I ended up taking off 7 months. Honestly, I was READY to go back to work after 3-4 months at home with the girls. I'm just not wired to be a SAHM. Love my girls, but I'm a MUCH better mom when I work outside of the home.

2) since your baby(s) are preemies; did your pediatrician suggest not to enroll in any sort of day care? Yup, no daycare for us. Only just this last week did we have the guts to put them into church child care. For an hour. The first service of the weekend (so presumably the toys haven't been handled by kiddos for multiple prior services).

3) lots of people talk about nanny's taking care of their twins as they go back to work since the price is comparable to daycare. What is the going rate these days? this is going to vary A LOT depending on where you live. We pay our nanny $16/hour (we also do taxes and the whole nine yards with her). However, if you hire someone FT, you usually pay a weekly rate. Our nanny comes in 2 days a week, and our parents watch the girls the remaining 3 days. It's worked out incredibly well -- if you can find the right person, it's been a huge weight off of our chest. Both in terms of health for the girls, 1:2 attention (versus 1:4 in daycare) and convenience -- I don't have to wake them up to haul them to daycare in the AM, which is AWESOME. And, if they do catch something, I don't have to take off from work since they couldn't be in daycare.

flerlgirl · August 2014

1) obviously none of us planned for our kids to be early. What's your experience been with your employer? I kept my job through most of the time that DS was in the hospital, which was 115 days (but was only paid for six weeks maternity leave). Then my company was purchased and I was laid off. Up until then, my boss was awesome. They were willing to let me take off as much time as I needed and just asked that I kept them in the loop.

2) since your baby(s) are preemies; did your pediatrician suggest not to enroll in any sort of day care? Yes. Pediatrician and pulmonologist both said daycare would be a bad idea for at least the first year. DS had more lung trouble than average which did factor in to them not wanting him in daycare. I live in GA and there are special daycares for kids born prematurely, special medical needs, special physical needs, etc. So if you go back to work I would ask about something like that to see if the program exists in your state.

3) lots of people talk about nanny's taking care of their twins as they go back to work since the price is comparable to daycare. What is the going rate these days? No experience but I would check out care.com - they have nannies and also people experienced in working with kids who have specific medical needs.

I wound up staying home with DS. We had a lot of changes go on at the same time and that worked out the best for us. Good luck in whatever you decide!

edited because words are hard, yo.

ashleymarie512 · August 2014

My DD was born at 29/6 via emergency c/s with no warning (ie no bedrest, ptl, etc). She was in the NICU for 66 days and came home on o2. I was off the first month due to the surgery, but then went back full time to save my leave. I work a few blocks from the hospital so I could go over lunch and them meet DH right after we got off work. When she came home I was off full time for six weeks and then spent another six weeks working part time with DH staying home part time and me staying home part time. After that, my FMLA was used Up and I had to go back full time.

1) obviously none of us planned for our kids to be early. What's your experience been with your employer?
---My employer was amazing! She let me work from her hospital room a lot of the time since there was wi-fi. She also understood when I told her with five minutes warning that LO was being discharged and I was outta there for a few months. They were totally open to me coming back part time at first too.

2) since your baby(s) are preemies; did your pediatrician suggest not to enroll in any sort of day care?
---LO came home on o2, but the pedi never said no daycare. We got Synagis since she came home during RSV season and we talked with our sitter about not letting other kids touch her. She always kept her away from their level and talked to them about not getting too close, covering mouths, washing hands a lot, etc. She also asked all parents to get flu shots since she was coming on board. We also didn't quarantine her and were out and about quite a bit (within reason), but kept her covered around large groups and tried to go places during off times/days. She went to daycare at five months actual and was on the o2 for about a week there before we weaned her off completely. I'm happy to say that we didn't have any colds/sicknesses all winter long!

3) lots of people talk about nanny's taking care of their twins as they go back to work since the price is comparable to daycare. What is the going rate these days?
---Higher than I can afford

I'd say it's probably $300-400/week around here, but that's just a guess.

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Stay home; back to work; child care

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