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LO hates DH...

MargotshaMargotsha member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Hi bumpies. I will admit that since having my lo, I have turned into a lurker but we are going thru an issue right now that just plain sucks. LO and I went on a week long holiday without DH and since we've been back, she hates him. He'll try to hold or feed her and she'll just scream and scream, bawling. The second that I then come and touch her or hold her, she'll turn into a happy-go-lucky babe again. It stresses me out because it means that to save the place, I do 99% of the care giving. And I feel so bad for dh, it is disheartening to watch him try, only to not succeed in enjoying the interaction together. He tries but I can tell that his feelings are beyond hurt. She is just shy of 6mo, mainly bf (we just started adding sweet potatoes 2 days ago), co-sleeps and is about to pop her first tooth. Please any advise, or even stories if this happened to others, I would truly appreciate it. Thanks so much in advance.

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Re: LO hates DH...

  • flclflcl member
    My LO is going through the same thing, I'm the person he prefers to be with right now.  While DH can be with him and play with him, after awhile, LO fusses and looks for me.  With the ILs though, LO screams and screams.  As much as I want to jump in and grab him, it's good for LO to get used to other people taking care of him.  I find that if I leave and give them time with each other without me, he seems to do little better.  Maybe you can try the same and take a little time for yourself?  I'm definitely not looking forward to being on the receiving end of this treatment...
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  • mcgeevamcgeeva member
    It's a phase. My first lo would cry when dh got home from work and he would hold him. It didn't last. They are just so use to you taking care of them all day your comfort to them especially if you were just gone for a week. Crying or not let your DH bond with your lo and keep trying. It will pass your Dh just needs to try not to let it bother him. Babies cry it will pass. Let DH do more things with lo, bed routine etc. 

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

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  • qtipqt86qtipqt86 member

    We are having a similar problem. LO loves daddy, expect for bedtime. He can play, with her, hold her, bath, anything but rocking her to sleep. This has been going on for weeks now. It probably doesnt help matters that I just went back to work three weeks ago, either. It breaks my heart to see it, and the weird part is that DH has always done bath and bedtime since day one with LO. I hope this passes soon.

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  • TeacherVickyTeacherVicky member
    She doesn't hate him, she is simply attached to you at the moment.

    One day the tables with turn and she will be attached to your H. This is normal and it's how kids create attachments with both parents. 
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  • harmonicbabe26harmonicbabe26 member
    MrsMuq said:
    Your baby is 5 months old. She doesn't have the capability to hate your husband.

    This is a phase. At some point, you'll be the one on the receiving end of such treatment.

    Just give your LO time; she does love YH, even if she isn't being particularly loving right now.

    This! It's ridiculous to say she hates him. My DD is 2.5 and when MH goes away on a week long work trip and wants to give her a hug or play with her afterwards she tells him in plain English 'you go away daddy!' Think about that must feel! But nobody would ever suggest she hates him. Kids go through attachment phases and unless both parents are there completely equally all the time, which is never the case, the one who is there less has to work harder at maintaining the relationship. That's just reality.
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