Adoption

Matched - 8 weeks till due date

I'm a single woman adopting on my own (domestic adoption) and I have a match that is scheduled for a c-section on October 2 (a little boy). I'm super excited about this and feeling quite good about this situation but each week is increasingly harder to wait. I met the BM and she's fantastic. All signs look very good and she seems completely certain of her decision. 

However, I feel like my experience has made me a little jaded though. I had a match in late 2012/early 2013 that was for a baby due in April 2013. It was a very chaotic match and looking back there are more red flags than I realized or my agency recognized in the match. The situation feel apart really badly less than 3 weeks before the baby was due. We found out that the women wasn't even intending to place, that she had just done it for financial assistance. It was really rough and expensive and I'm not even working with the same agency anymore. I then had a very short match in May 2013 with a baby girl that had already been born. I had put a name on a birth certificate and was within hours of getting on the plane as the BM was going to sign that day. At the last hour she changed her mind. The whole process start to finish was about 48 hrs.

I am very excited about my current match and am hopeful it will go through, but I feel like its going to be ongoing stress until I have a signed paper in hand. The current match has asked if I've decorated the baby's room or bought stuff....but I feel like I have to hold off. I'm really hoping that my hesitation doesn't seem too apparent. 

Any ideas of how to get through the next two months and generate excitement about this baby while still trying to be a bit cautious about everything? Its been a roller-coaster so far - so I'm trying to stay calm as much as I can in the meantime.  Each situation considered is hard emotionally, each match/un-match has been emotional and I'm hopeful that this situation is joyful and I bring home a son in a few months.




Re: Matched - 8 weeks till due date

  • As far as the room decoration goes, i'd just tell her your ideas but not commit. Everyone likes to dream :)

    As for the rest, I have no experience but I'm sending good thoughts
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  • I'm so sorry about your previous matches. Best of luck to you that this is "the one!"
    Happily married Mom to 2 beautiful little girls, 2 dogs and 2 cats (all rescues), 2 fish and one 29 year-old firebelly newt.
    ~ Hoping to add to our family by adoption via Connecticut DCF. Application submitted on 2/4/14. First home visit on 6/23/14. Started class 11/17/14.~

  • I'm taking it slowly. Finalizing baby registry and buying only things that are gender neutral and just getting the apartment ready in general. Making lots of lists in the meantime. 

    Only 48 days now till planned c-section. But its not like I'm counting down . :)
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