I just need to vent this one out. Sorry. I promise to use a facebook friend's suggestion to sing "Baby Beluga" later, only you sing "Baby Chewbacca." This is supposed to make anyone's bad day better.
Here's my list of vexations:
1. First, do not text me at 3:30 in the morning and expect good things to happen. It won't. I'm a light sleeper and I get fired up at that hour.
2. If you are my eldest child's dad, and I text you to let you know how much her glasses were, at least respond.
3. If you don't respond, don't be surprised when I text you again a week later.
4. If the second text bothers you in some way, respond then. Don't send your current wife in to respond.
5. If your child support has not gone up in 11 years, pay for stuff when asked. Like, medical stuff. Like you are supposed to.
6. Call your kid. Like, often. If I was away from my kid, I would call every week, or at least a few times a month.
7. Don't use the excuse, "It makes me sad to call her." You are a grown man. As Betty White says, grow a vagina.
8. Realize that the amount you pay for child support is so small that all my friends who know how much it is (a very small number, because I"m not a jerk and spreading around things like this) are shocked.
9. When you do call your kid, ask her about things. I'll write you a list. Try: How are you? How is school? What are you up to today? Was your breakfast good? Did the dogs eat your precious, tiny, toys? Did you change your sheets? Or, go for big ones like: Tell me about your best day this week . . . Or, if you could be anything in the world when you grow up, what would you be and why, besides awesome?
10. Get dental and eye insurance. Because you are a grown man. And have 2 biological children and 2 step-kids and a wife.
11. Don't text me at 3:30 in the morning and expect a good outcome. Yeah. Again.
Okay, thanks. I feel a little better. I recognize that I should be more self-reliant about my kid's insurance, but it is just ridiculous that he is supposed to have those things and doesn't. Now that we have 2+ kids, it will "cost the same" to have a family plan no matter how many kids we put in the policy. I just wish that instead of waiting for open enrollment I could use "the non-custodial parent is a goon" as a change-of-life event.
Have a good one!
"Baby Chewbacca in the deep blue see,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
Just a little blue Chewbacca on the go . . . "
CageyMack
37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.
5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered. All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd. 4 fertilized. Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853. Yay!
"Things separate from their stories have no meaning. They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name. The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing
Re: Vent. Or, "Dude, How Can Exes Be Such Rotten Parents?"
:-O :-O (see bolded above) Seriously? Is it THAT hard?
Wow, it really sounds like this is less about being a better parent and more about being an (a better) adult.
I know I'm pretty cool, and I've been with some real losers in the past. But it always shocks me when I see other people that I know are cool, hooked up with someone that can't get their shit together. I guess we've got something else in common, @cageymack!
I'm really sorry you have to deal with this.
And yeah ... 3am texts are never cool. I don't care who you are or what your reasoning is. Unless someone has died, put your texting thumbs away until (at least) 7am.
ETA - I suck at Emojis
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!
CageyMack
37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.
5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered. All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd. 4 fertilized. Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853. Yay!
"Things separate from their stories have no meaning. They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name. The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.” ― Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing
Oh man - this dude needs to get his act together! I am so sorry!
I can sort of relate - from a different perspective though... this sounds very, very, very much like my own father. Unfortunately (for him), he never got it right, and now we don't have a relationship. I will NEVER understand how some parents can be so selfish as to repeatedly not put their children first for seemingly no good reason. Is it laziness? Is it some kind of innate inability to be a responsible, compassionate, thoughtful adult? Who knows!
Anyway, I am really sorry. Your awesome kiddo deserves better, and you don't deserve to put up with all this crap!
I like @jazibel's idea - let's fork his lawn!
Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012
5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN
Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer! *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581 *********William George born June 4, 2014*********