A/S disappointment, (not sex related). Updated

jjgypsy · August 2014

After waiting for what felt like forever, I finally had my A/S Tuesday. My doctor makes everyone wait until 22 weeks. Right away we we’re able to see that we’re having a boy. Everything looked great, we could see baby perfectly. The only difficulty the tech had was getting Baby to roll over so she could see his spine but, after a little she was able to do that also. I noticed during the scan that she didn’t take much time at all for us to see Baby’s face so I told her we would really like a picture of Baby’s face. She told me we would get lots of pics. After the scan when we were leaving the room she handed us our pictures. The face picture is awful; you can hardly tell what it is. The other pictures were of the arms, feet, heart & genitals.

Immediately after I meet with a doctor; not one I’ve seen before. I mentioned to him how we really wanted a picture of the baby’s face & his response was that I could pay another facility to do an ultrasound just for that.

When I got home I looked up places but, they are almost 2 hours from me & cost almost $200. My husband & I are so disappointed. We really only wanted one good face/head picture, it didn’t even have to be 3d/4d. It just seems so unfair & unreasonable to me that we waited all that time, baby was totally cooperative & now they’re pretty much just telling us too bad.

It’s been bugging me very bad so I called the office today & they had me leave a message for the office manager who will be back Monday. Do you think I’m overreacting? Would you just let it go or tell the office manager your feelings?

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Just to clarify when I said face picture, what I was meaning was a "profile" picture. My MIL got us a cute frame for just the occasion but, I will put it back for something else or pass it on. Thank you all for the feed back. I am very happy my baby appears to be healthy.

SereJane · August 2014

Honestly, I would let it go. The a/s is all about checking how well the baby is doing, not a photo op. Plus it is hard to get a good face pic even when the baby is cooperative-they're still so small! Many of my pics are a bit like 'uh, can't remember what the tech said that was.' I would personally not get an elective u/s for pics because the acog cautions against medically unnecessary u/s.

rshamos · August 2014

I agree with pp. Instead of focusing on the one picture you don't have, go through and look at the ones you do have. Look at his tiny feet, his healthy kidneys and stomach, his straight spine. My favorite pic of our little boy is his heart.

hellopartyof5 · August 2014

I didn't get good pictures at my anatomy scan either. I was just excited that everything was good! Did you get any profile picture at all? Usually they do a lot of measurements around the head...

Annya26 · August 2014

Unfortunately because it is a medical scan I don't think there is anything that you can do. Not sure how it works in your area, but they aren't required to give you any pictures at all as far as I know.

Super disappointing though! I had a lousy experience last week and just wanted to cry. So few chances to get a peek at your little one, so when it doesn't go as planned it can be so upsetting.

lionyloo32 · August 2014

I would let this one go too. To me, I understand the purpose of an a/s is to make sure all the organs etc. look good. I feel like finding out sex is a bonus, and seeing baby's face and even getting a pic is a super bonus (which I think most don't get). My insurance covers a basic a/s. So no 3/4D. As pp's have said, in a few months you can take all the pictures you want of LO's face.

JRod13 · August 2014

That sucks, but I'd let it go too. Baby is healthy and looked good- that's what matters. We got a profile pic and and pic of his junk- that's it, but again that's not what matters at an a/s. If it's such a huge deal to you, pay the $200.

GradSchoolPrincess · August 2014

The pic we got of our LO's face is super dark and weird. We've taken to calling it our LO's "demon baby" pose and we laughed it off. You'll have the rest of your life to get beautiful pics of your kid. US pics always look weird and blurry IMO.

Cheekers2010 · August 2014

PugLife5869 said:

Ainslie325 said:

I know it's difficult, but the purpose of an anatomy scan is medical. While it's nice to get clear, beautiful pictures to take home, the medical professionals' concern is getting the images they need of the anatomy to make certain that your baby is healthy. Sometimes, we get great pictures to take home and show family. Sometimes, we don't. What matters is that we get the images that our doctors need in order to provide us and our children with the best care. I actually think that your doctor's response to you was fairly diplomatic; his billable time (and the tech's) aren't to be spent looking for that perfect facial picture. If it happens while capturing the anatomy they need to see, that's just a happy bonus. A venue exists or this type of ultrasound photography--it's just that you have to be willing to pay for it out of pocket because it's not medical in nature. Tough nuts, but getting that great take-home image from an anatomy scan is a matter of luck. I would not expect (nor would I want) my tech or doc to take extra time trying to capture an image he didn't need for medical reasons. That's not why they're there, and that not the service they provide, and that's not what our insurance premiums pay for.

This. I'm sorry that you didn't get what you wanted but that is not the purpose and it's not their responsibility to give you.

Yup. Totally agree. We bot an absolutely awful profile pic as well. Didn't say a word about it, it was just a bonus.

kayak11 · August 2014

I agree with PP that the A/S is for medical purposes and the pics are a bonus. We did not get any clear pics of DS's face last time but got a bunch of profile shots of this LO. It all depends on the baby's position when the tech is taking the pics/looking at the head.

I can understand your disappointment, but the tech's job is to check the health of the baby. Try to focus on the fact that your little guy is healthy rather than not getting a picture!

kboyet · August 2014

We had a similar situation. Our baby looks like the punisher from the photos

Heorwig · August 2014

We didn't really get a good picture of baby's profile either. Like PPs said, the anatomy scan is for medical purposes to make sure the baby is nice and healthy. I'm not sure what you expects the office manager to do.. I wouldn't worry about it. If it's that important to you, go to one of the outside ultrasound facilities and pay the money. We will be getting one later on to get 3D images of his face (hopefully)

Disneygeek77 · August 2014

Wow. Yes you are being unfair and unreasonable. Anatomy scans are exactly that, to check the anatomy for problems, defects and deformities. Knowing the sex of the baby and getting a good picture of the face are bonuses and totally luck of the draw. It has nothing to do with the skill of your tech or how much they like you as a patient. It is simply the baby was in the right place at the right time. Yours was not. They have absolutely no obligation to appease you until you get the picture you want. You are not their only patient and they have schedule to keep.

Your Dr is exactly right. If it means that much to you, then go to a private business and pay for it, but it is not, absolutely not, your Drs office or place to provide that for you. That is not what those machines are for and that is not what they pay their techs for.

Yes, you can be disappointed that you were not one of those lucky few that got a good pic of their baby's face. I am disappointed I didn't win a sweepstakes last week, but again, it is luck of the draw and being in the right place at the right time. I hope if the office calls you back, you apologize for over reacting.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

We have one picture of the baby's face and it is freaking terrifying. It's not a profile but directly facing us and it looks like a demon or something, so creepy.

As others have said, the purpose of the scan is not to get pictures or to figure out the sex, but to make sure all those organs and bits are working and developing correctly. I know it sucks. When my husband forgot our pictures at the clinic, I burst into tears and drove all the way back to get them. I know they are special and I'm sorry you couldn't get the ones you wanted. But try to remember that you only have a few short months left until you get to see that little face for real! 22 weeks was a while to wait but you have only have about 18 left until you get to see a much cuter version. If it really bothers you, go for an elective or 3D scan, but by this time next year you'll have a mountain of photos of your LO so I wouldn't stress over it that much.

mlee116 · August 2014

Yeah, I would let it go. You found out your baby is healthy, which is the purpose of the A/S. And honestly, they might not have been able to get a good picture of his face. I didn't' with DS. We got an ok picture of his profile and then the other looked like Skeletor.

dreacwaters · August 2014

Let it go!! You should just be grateful everything was great and baby boy is healthy. There are so many of us out there that have to go back to see things they did not see in the first scan. I'm waiting to see my sons feet and you want a good pic!!

Carandkam · August 2014

I would let it go. The face pictures aren't that great anyway. Here is what we got.... My six year old son is convinced it looks like skeletor. You know baby is healthy and growing on schedule... that is key!

Cryssteen · August 2014

Have you see 2-D face pics? They're terrible no matter what. It's not like you'll see a smoking baby. You are definitely overreacting. You typically get a nice profile of the baby, but not face. In fact, my first as the baby wouldn't lie in the correct position for a profile, so they didn't give a photo... Got one when I went back a week later to complete the scan. And it was of the profile. I think your expectations were way off. You tell me which is a better keepsake

brittandjp · August 2014

Congrats on a healthy baby boy, but I agree with PP's. The purpose of the anatomy scan is just that, to make sure baby is healthy and developing on course. Sure, the pictures are an added bonus, but I certainly wouldn't be making a big deal about not getting great ones.

We didn't get any really great 3D ones this time or at any of our scans with DD. Both girls apparently liked to snuggle up against my placenta with their hands right in front of their face. It always made it difficult for the techs to get a good shot.

Look at it this way, our parents hardly got any, IF ANY pictures. My mom said she got ONE picture during her entire pregnancy and it was a profile shot. Nothing else, no 3D. Nada.

Just try to embrace your healthy babe and if it's really THAT big of a deal, pay the money for an elective one.

brittandjp · August 2014

amw0914 said:

@brittandjp‌ my parents didn't get an ultrasound and swore I was a boy. Haaa fooled them.

SURPRISE!!!!!!

weezy29 · August 2014

I think you feel how you feel and you can't always help your feelings. I can understand your disappointment since really, in 40 weeks this is the only chance to see your baby.

Maybe I'm more sympathetic because we had a wonderful tech!! He allowed my kids to be present, took his time explaining and showing them his different body parts while getting some amazing images. He even let us sit there and watch the baby as he was searching for his thumb to start sucking!!

However, all the other PP are right. Because it is a medical scan, I don't think there is much you can do about it. Allow yourself to be mad, sad, disappointed but then move in. It sucks but you will get to see and hold your baby real soon!!

AngelSong76 · August 2014

We got a terrible profile pic and our baby's face looks like something from Planet of the Apes. lol. But I have a beautiful penis shot.

I figure it's normal to get terrible pics and the bad ones are more fun than the good ones. Use what you got in your cute frame. Everyone knows what it is, even if it doesn't look like a baby.

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