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TTC after 35
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Can we talk about sex drive?

lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member
in TTC after 35
My drive has always been SKY high. Always.
But recently-- I just kind of don't want it as much (perfect timing right before TTC, right?).
I don't know if it's due to stress with work/wedding planning/life, or if I just have hit an age where it isn't as exciting to me. Either way-- this week I went 4 days without it, and that isn't like me. We are typically every other day people. We also have really hot sex, so it's not like it's boring (maybe TMI, but just to prove a point).

The funny thing is, my guy looks super hot. To me...down right delicious! It's not that I'm not attracted to him...I just am not in the mood.

Anyone else dealing with this, or just not as interested?
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Re: Can we talk about sex drive?

  • AustrogermokeeAustrogermokee member
    My sex drive took a dive, both due to illness (it's really hard to want it when you always have a headache) and due to TTC. Actually, one of the reasons I'm NTNP this month is to see if taking out the compulsory aspect of sex helps restore my drive.
    Me: 38 DH: 40 TTC#1 (and likely only) since 9/13. Saw RE 5/14, SA good, AMH 2.36, FSH 7.2, estradiol 69.6 indicating good egg reserve. Using OPKs. First Letrozole cycle 6/14, a burst cyst and a BFN. Second Letrozole cycle 7/14, BFN. 

    Update 11/14 - had laparoscopy 10/28, good news is that my uterus and left tube look good, and they were able to drain the cyst on my left ovary. Bad news is that right tube and ovary have endo and scar tissue, so they're pretty useless.. Best news is that we finally have some answers and a path forward. Taking 7.5 mg letrozole CD 2-6 to put that good left ovary through its paces. 

    UPDATE 2/2015 - We switched to another fertility clinic, but fortunately we don't have to start all over. We're doing two cycles of Clomid plus IUI, if neither of those take, we'll do IVF in April, potentially with ICSI. (DH's SA has gone downhill, likely due to excessive exercise.) IUI#1 2/25/15....
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  • lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member
    @Austrogermokee- UGH...I'm sorry. Yeah-- my guy isn't touching me with a 10 ft pole when I have a headache, so I totally get that.
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  • kelley72kelley72 member
    When my dh and I first became lovers our sex drive was crazy sky high!  Looking back at my charts from then it is just amazing, but then comes reality.  He jokes that we really are married now.  Realistically though he has been dealing with one health issue after another, then add in our blessing of the baby and anhh life stuff gets in the way yes even while ttc.
    I believe its natural to have sex life wax and wane.  I think it is also a sign of a healthy relationship- meaning we aren't dependent upon sex and have other interests and pursuits, as long as we are both ok with it.  I'm sometimes bothered by it and sometimes he is.  I got a little loony last cycle and calmed down this go round.  
    I hope you have some steamy sex and I would bet anything that dealing with an upcoming wedding on top of ttc is bit much on the stress level.  I bet things even out and you get back in your groove.
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  • lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member
    @kelley72- Thank you. I hope so, too. I am thinking from the wedding day on, our sex life will be heightened. Especially with us officially TTC then and with us taking a week-long vacation in Mexico in tropical paradise. We shall see!

    And-- sorry to hear about your stress regarding sex, too. It's difficult when someone has medical conditions/issues. 

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  • Davie813Davie813 member
    It sounds like you're both just tired and busy--perfectly normal, given the wedding and job stress.  I also think it's inevitable (and kind of a relief in some ways) that sex drive moderates a bit as you settle into a relationship.  I wouldn't worry about it, especially since you're about to TTC and start having lots and lots of sex whether you're in the mood for it or not! :)
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



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  • lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member
    @Davie813- Yes, I think you're right. Work (for both of us) has been stressful. Both of our jobs are freaking out about us having a week off for the honeymoon, and they are really loading us up on work. Plus...wedding stuff is fun, but man, STRESS.
    I do look forward to TTC, though! Not only for the sex, but also for the excitement of possible baby making. :) 3 more weeks!
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