Too soon?

acpruchnik · August 2014

My brother is getting married at the end of November and my future SIL has a specific style and color dress she wants our sisters and myself to wear. I'm really excited to start shopping for a dress but I'm wondering if it's too soon to buy one in the next month? She wants strapless formal and floor length in a royal purple. Also, any recommendations other than David's Bridal? Please and thanks in advance

jennjilljo · August 2014

I don't think it's too soon. Most places have A fake bump to help guess a good fit and you can go big and get it fitted before the wedding.

jmcgra06 · August 2014

Typically the girls at the store can give you good information about how much bigger to go, and you can always get it taken in if needed. Is she not picking an actual dress for you? Purple is a tough color to match, and "royal purple" may not be the same in every store which could be funny. Cool when things are intentionally not the same, distracting when they are just a bit off.

mommy510 · August 2014

jennwilhoite said:
I don't think it's too soon. Most places have A fake bump to help guess a good fit and you can go big and get it fitted before the wedding.

I was in 2 weddings while pregnant (6 mo and 7 mo). Most places will have a fake bump that you can wear. Another option is to go to David's and figure out your sizing (use measuring tape as dresses vary in sizes) and then go wherever you find the dress you like.

acpruchnik · August 2014

We're not actually in the wedding so it's kind of frustrating that she's being so picky about what we wear (especially since 3 of my sisters are extremely uncomfortable having their arms exposed and we'll be outside at night) but luckily she gave us swatches and told us to get as close to it as possible. But I won't argue since she's amazing in general and she's not usually picky about anything lol

2 of my sisters did the unmatched bridesmaids dresses for their weddings, though, and it was actually really fun and I wish I would have done it for my wedding. We just had to aim for dresses and shoes around the same color.

acpruchnik · August 2014

Where would be a good place to go with a fake bump? I didn't do anything like this when I was pregnant with my son and I'm not familiar with any of the maternity stores. I'd rather not go into a David's Bridal if I don't have to. Out of the 3 stores in different cities I've been in, even when I was the bride shopping at one, I've always been treated like crap so I avoid them.

mmariel · August 2014

I dont think its ever too soon for dress shopping! Especially since she has something specific in mind. Like others have said, places will have a fake bump and should be able to help with the special sizing.

ETA- I didnt see that you aren't in the wedding. Yeah thats messed up. I would have told her hell no!

rosieo52 · August 2014

Timeout! Your not in the wedding in any way, shape or form and you have dress specifications? You are a better SIL than I am. Especially pregnant!! I would say I'll do best but I'm not making any promises. But since you are going with the guidelines I would order now. Bridesmaid dresses can take awhile to get in, if ordered from a bridal shop.

ConstanceGoodspeed · August 2014

You aren't in the wedding but she is dictating what you will wear?

mmariel · August 2014

Also- im not sure whats in your area, but all of the bridal shops around me have the fake bump. You shouldn't have to go to a maternity store. Try online first.

schnitz9 · August 2014

ConstanceGoodspeed said:

You aren't in the wedding but she is dictating what you will wear?

I'm thinking the same thing. If you not in the wedding she really shouldn't telling you what to wear. That's a bit tacky. Is there a specific reason? Why not just have you guys in the wedding you are the grooms sisters. I would suggest all going to the same store so you can have at least the same color. Royal purple can come out as totally different colors. Of all the years working in fashion I have never heard of a bride telling people who aren't in the wedding not only what color to wear but what style dress. Hmmm....

mbaby4 · August 2014

I am in a wedding in a couple weeks. I bought my dress a few months ago and bought a size up. I wish I would have bought two sizes up because my ribcage has expanded so much it is tight there, even though it is an empire waist. When in doubt, go up and just get it tailored if it is too big.

HerHighness · August 2014

If you get an empire style strapless is should accommodate for a growing bump.

And add me to the list of people that think she is bring a brat for telling a non bridesmaid what to wear.

acpruchnik · August 2014

Yeah, I thought it was weird that she's wanting something so specific, too. She also told us to get as close as possible to the swatch she gave us, but part of me is thinking she's going to panic if someone doesn't get as close as she wants. If my SIL wasn't so sweet normally and she wasn't marrying my baby brother then I think I'd be a pain about it cos it's ridiculous IMO.

I'm gonna see if I can find an empire waist that I like since that sounds like the easiest route. If I can't find one that'll work, I'll hunt around at the shops around here and if I can't find one with a fake belly then I'll cave and go to David's Bridal and get sized.

Thank you for all the suggestions, ladies! I think I'm going to spend my weekend dress hunting and hopefully I'll find something soon

williamandrachelray · August 2014

I was going to say that you probably have to order this early to get your dress in in time but now that I know you aren't in the wedding (I assumed this was a bridesmaids dress) I am super confused. Is it so family will look uniform in photos? Are you passing programs or doing a reading? Is she asking ALL the female guests to do this or just family? Honestly I wouldn't know what to tell her, that's something I've never heard of a bride doing before.

acpruchnik · August 2014

She hasn't given any reason to us, honestly. The only thing we've really been told is that we're all being given strips of the original material my brothers kilt is being cut from to wear. We've never practiced any part of our Irish heritage, especially since we're mostly German and HAVE done a lot with that, so I'm starting to wonder if it's part of the tradition? She's only making me, my sisters, my mum and our grandmothers do it. I don't know if she has the women in her family doing anything or how many of them are going to travel out here for the wedding. It's all actually really confusing!

Angeldcf · August 2014

WHAT?!!!!

Hell no. Ask her if there is a reason she's asking non-BM to wear this dress (house party?). If not, then wear what you want. That isn't "just slightly tacky," that is downright bridezilla, control-freak rude.

blondemarmot · August 2014

Go for empire waist. Also, just because I was asked to do this once it might be because she doesn't want clashing colors in the family photo ops? I don't know, I was required to wear certain colors for the H's niece's wedding and she didn't include any family in photos after all. Waste of money.

abc313 · August 2014

Could you possibly be escorted in with family?? Similar to how mom's and grandmother's are sat last before the processional starts? When I got married I asked my SIL to escort her grandmother down the aisle. They both wore corsages similar to my mom and MIL. Even though we took family pictures I still wouldn't consider them part of the wedding.

As for color coordinating all the dresses. I used dark purple and silver. All of my family asked what they should wear I suggested (I tried really hard not to be a bridezilla) the women wear purple and the men wear something silver or gray.

Maybe she's going to ask you to do a reading or take part in another special way and she just hasn't asked you yet. She might just be super stressed with planning right now. And who knows she might become more relaxed (or worse) as the day approaches.

mariloofah · August 2014

Ridiculous! Someone needs to gently remind her not to dwell on insignificant aspects for the day. He is marrying her - not a dress... Not a hair style... Not jewelry... Not the shoes with the matching napkins... Or his sleeveless sisters! I-yi-yi!!!!!!

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