WWYD

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

So, what would you do if you had a male post partum nurse that made several inappropriate comments to while you were at the hospital (i.e. very aggressive with me and my newborn while assisting me with breasfeeding/latching, told me the reason my newborn was crying was because she had a neurological issue, told me to clean the toilet in the bathroom after I had left some blood on it post-delivery/made gagging noises, and told me my husband is the one that should be helping me use the pump because (in his own words) "I am not a saidst...or is it a masochist?")? It is something that has been haunting me and I feel like I need to bring the behavior to someone's attention in hopes no other women have to deal with this douchebag.

jenb_99 · August 2014

I'd report him, no questions asked. And I'm a pacifist, so I don't make decisions like that lightly. But yeah, I wouldn't hesitate to call him out in explicit detail.

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

Thanks jenb_99. Filed a formal complaint, and now trying to keep from worrying this guy will seek us out for retribution...what with all the crazy people in the world and what-not. I normally let things slide, too. But this all just kept bothering me; even 3 months after I wonder if he is saying these things to other women.

bossyferg · August 2014

Yes report it. Hospital needs to be aware of that behaviour.

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

So should I also report it to the hospital? Charge nurse? Or Customer Service? I have made a report to the State Licensing Board.

ho11yday · August 2014

I have no clue who you'd talk to specifically but that is so wrong. Heck the nurses yelled (gently chided is probably a better description) me for going to the bathroom by myself and trying to clean up too. So wrong.

If it were me, I'd start with the receptionist and explain that you had a problem while staying there and ask who do you talk to about it. They should be able to direct you appropriately.

ho11yday · August 2014

BeesKnees181 said:
So should I also report it to the hospital? Charge nurse? Or Customer Service? I have made a report to the State Licensing Board.

Report to hospital too so they can enact change- if they don't know it happened, they don't know to fix it.

mrsbtobe20122 · August 2014

Call the hospital's patient rep

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

@jennish11 - Just got off phone with Customer Service who hooked me up with Patient's rep. Thanks for the support ladies! I'm not quite sure how I didn't kill him, either. Most of this happened while my hubby ran home to care for our dogs. I was a wreck by the time he got back to the hospital. Told him to kepp the nurse out of the room and basically cried until we got our night nurse.

PattyTC · August 2014

I can't believe you didn't report him that day. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. What an awful experience at such a joyous time!

giggler25 · August 2014

I am so sorry you had to deal with that!! Totally NOT acceptable and I'm glad you reported him.

spacepotatoes · August 2014

You're doing the right thing. No woman should be treated that way and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

Junebug060609 · August 2014

Report his ass.

Lild09 · August 2014

Report him and this is coming from
Myself and my DH being registered nurses! Unbelievable and a disgrace to our profession especially the great male nurses that are out there ugh

laurblum · August 2014

Unacceptable! Sounds like you are doing everything you can. Keep us posted. What an asshole.

bridetobe9132013 · August 2014

So sorry you had to deal with that! My stay was hard enough with being exhausted from delivery, learning how to breastfeed, and being interrupted by nurses constantly. I can't even imagine dealing with that on top of everything else. I wanted to cry just reading this! I'm so happy you reported him. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, especially after bringing a precious life into this world!

FlemDance · August 2014

Report, definitely. If he did it to you he probably did it before. Your reporting the situation could prevent it from happening again to someone else.

bridetobe9132013 · August 2014

I understand that nurses need to check but that doesnt change the fact that I couldnt get a restful sleep!

Jennyinheaven · August 2014

Report him, I reported my l&d nurse for different reasons ( she basically ignored and mocked me when I told her I had extra pain, leading to another nurses intervention and me being rushed to an emergency c section and being put to sleep during the birth of my daughter). I just asked to speak with the head of nursing and told her my story, I was listened to and treated with respect and felt like I may have prevented someone else from getting the same treatment.

sparklingdiamond · August 2014

I agree with everyone else that you did the right thing in reporting him. There is absolutely no reason you should have been treated that way!

bridetobe9132013 · August 2014

Just want to apologize if I offended any nurses! My mom was a nurse and two of my good friends are nurses and I tell them all the time that it takes a special person to be a nurse and I respect all nurses

bridetobe9132013 · August 2014

Well... all except for those that disrespect patients!

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

@kitchencolors - Yea...I only added the male part to this post, when I submitted my report I only named him as my post partum nurse.

Thank you so much for the support everyone! My husband is not happy about me filing a formal complaint. He is worried this guy may seek some sort of retributiion. In my husband's words, "That guy scared me from the beginning." In all honesty, the guy was just creepy enough that my gut tells me to keep this confidential as the case moves forward. So here is my next question...according to the person in charge of my case:

It would be better if he could reprimand this guy with specific details. And by using these details, chances are the guy will know who I am...ugh. What would you do? I REALLY don't want to be some 20/20 special. And again, I don't want to be part of the problem; I want to be part of a solution. Thoughts?

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

@mary97 - It is never to late to speak up. I wish I had handled it right when it happened, but I am such an anti-confrontational person and I was a confused/scared FTM, so...it took me 3 months to decide this was important. Thanks for the support

momthatlifts · August 2014

Wow I am so so sorry you had to go through that. I would report him immediately!! No doubt! I had a nurse tell me very aggressively that if I decided to go home on day two that "I could die and my daughter would be without a mother!". It was the way she said it at still haunts me to this day. But that is nothing compared to what you had to go through. Once again, I'm very sorry!

danagmauro · August 2014

That is so disturbing. Being a nurse is a gift. The dude doesn't have it.

yvanehtnioj · August 2014

Nothing to add advice wise, everyone has it covered. But I wanted to say In so sorry you were treated like that. Makes me sad and enraged. Fuck that guy, something is wrong with him.

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