18 weeks pregnant and I miss my husband

Re: 18 weeks pregnant and I miss my husband

• allrightmeow member

  August 2014

  Without knowing what the details of the "falling out" were its hard to give you specific advice.  I hope couples therapy is helpful for you both.  You should consider and try to come to peace with the fact that you may end up being a single parent.  If the marriage can't be saved the absolute next best thing in this situation is that you both are able to amicably co-parent.  Good luck.  

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• laurenrae member

  August 2014

  I can't imagine what you are going through. My husband and I were on the brink of divorce a few years back and went to couples counseling. It saved our marriage and we are in love again. But I agree with the previous poster that you might have to come to terms as being a single parent. Be honest with your feelings in your sessions and give it time.

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• shellybean3788 member

  August 2014

  Of course, I don't know what the circumstances are, but I can tell you that my DH and I very nearly ended it in my first trimester. My emotions/hormones, and his astonishment at the prospect of actually becoming a father, mixed in with some financial troubles and work stress was a cocktail for relationship disaster. 

  
  

  I moved out, took the dogs. It was a mess. He had some time to think, came over, we talked. 

  
  

  He's on board now, but it taught me to be prepared: Pregnancy changes everything. Both people have to be willing to work together to make a family. I genuinely hope therapy works for you. There's nothing wrong with being a single parent, but you seem to care about him a lot and I hope the two of you can keep it together.

  
  

  

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• Alygohome member

  August 2014

  Last year I almost left my husband, I was self destructive, acting like a teenage fool and I did many hurtful and mean things to him. I felt like I had wasted years of my life after a bad injury and when I came off my pain killers I wanted to feel everything again. Finally after seeing how destructive my behaviour was and how I was hurting many people I decided to do counselling alone. She helped me work through a lot of my issues and then we brought my husband into the counselling. It saved our marriage. I still have a lot of guilt for what I put our marriage and my husband through through but counselling really helped us move past everything and start again, and it taught me tools to deal with my emotions.

  I would suggest that you get some counselling separately and together, marriage really is hard work sometimes and I hope that you can work together to figure it out, Or if you decide it really isn't working I hope that you guys are able to find common ground to co-parent! Good luck.

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• mb314 member

  August 2014

  I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, and I really hope that couple's therapy will work out for you guys, but I think you should look into some legal logistics in case it doesn't work about between the two of you. I would speak to a lawyer -  If you give birth in Ireland, and your husband is still there, are you ever able to move back to the States (assuming you're from the States)?  Could he prevent you from moving back with the child?  Will you be stuck in Ireland, with no support?  Will you be able to work there and help support your child? 
  
  Again, I sincerely hope that things  work out for your relationship.  But I think the fact that you're living in a different country complicates things a lot when it comes to co-parenting and the future. 

  Good luck!

   

  

     
  

  

   

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• cf1126 member

  August 2014

  I agree with mb314. Take care of yourself first so that you will be in the best position to take care of your baby. And talk to your family / support system. You need others to be on your side in order to have a leg to stand on if things came down to it. Depending on how long the two of you have been married, the couples therapy might very well work. If this is the first time you have had these issues, then I'd say you can be pretty optimistic. However, if the issues leading up to the falling out have been issues in the past, the couples therapy is just going to be a bandage, not a solution. Best of luck, my heart goes out to you.

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