What would you do?

MissMeegs · August 2014

I know it is mega early to even be thinking about this, but since I am trying to get ducks in a row.

DS's first birthday is January 7, and I am torn about when/how to celebrate. If I weren't going to have a brand new baby at that time (DS2 is due December 22) I would plan a big old party. My parents want to fly in for it, DH's parents would come down, we have loads of friends with kids/babies who would come and make it special.

BUT, since it's the middle of freaking winter and I'm going to have a 2 week old newborn in my house, I feel like the last thing I want to do is have a ton of people coming over. We could do it at a separate location and leave DS2 with a sitter, but I don't really want to leave such a young baby with a sitter either.

Should I just have it later, like in March, or does that kind of take away the whole first birthday aspect of it, having it when he's 14 or 15 months old? Not like he'll remember. I just hate the idea of "shafting" poor DS1 just because I was dumb enough to get knocked up again so soon!

....trying not to think about the fact that for the rest of my life, December/January will go "child birthday - Christmas - child birthday" back to back to back. Foreeeever.

sugarland726 · August 2014

Since DS won't have a clue what's going on, what I would probably do is do the party early. You said your parents will fly in. I assume they would fly in for the birth of DS2? So why not make an extended visit, in between Christmas and New Year's. Meet the baby, celebrate Christmas, celebrate DS1's birthday. Then on his actual birthday, you guys do something, just the four of you.

I'd also probably separate out family from friends this time around, given your immediate post partum state. It will be much easier for you to handle.

MissMeegs · August 2014

You know, that's a plan, we could still have a special party with family only, and I'm sure our friends would understand, given the circumstances! And yeah, it makes sense that timing doesn't really matter to DS1, since he'll have no memory of it, hehe. I am just trying to htink of the best way to make it convenient for family and not literally kill me, with the birth of DS2 thrown in the middle there....

MissMeegs · August 2014

@rgoblue That is the other option--move forward as I would otherwise, but "quarantine" the new LO in the nursery or down in our basement/family room, explaining to guests that the day is about DS and they can see the new baby another time? Assuming DS2 is asleep a lot, we could put him down for a nap around cake time so my mom wouldn't miss out...

Thanks so much everyone, I will take these options to DH and see what he thinks!

JennaRaek · August 2014

We're in the same boat. DS's bday is New Years Eve and DD is due 12/16. I'm planning a party for 12/31 during the day. I hope to have all of the planning/buying done before DD gets here. They tell me DD will probably be early since DS was and because the pregnancies were so close together. I know that's all a crap shoot and she'll come when she's ready, but we'll see. I'm going to rely a lot on my parents to help with DD. Even though it's his first birthday and he won't remember, I still want his day to be about him. And I might regret having a party so soon after DD is born, but it's only a few hours and we're only having immediate family and a few friends with small children. That's my plan as of now. We'll see!

KimberlyTX · August 2014

DS was born 3 weeks before DD's 2nd birthday. I did as much of the party planning (invitations, picking out what to serve, and the decorations) as I could before DS was born, and then I turned the reins over to my mom and MIL to actually prepare the food and help set everything up on the day of the party. We ended up having about 30 people there, but they were all people I trusted not to show up if they were feeling sick. I was prepared to wear DS in the Ergo for most of the party, but he ended up sleeping until the last 20 minutes.

Honestly, I was really worried about how I was going to feel at the party given I knew I wouldn't be sleeping well and all the other fun pp things we get to deal with, but it ended up being great. I was excited to be around other human beings, DD got to play with her friends, and we got to show off DS a little, too. Whatever you decide, good luck!

MissMeegs · August 2014

JennaRaek said:

And I might regret having a party so soon after DD is born, but it's only a few hours and we're only having immediate family and a few friends with small children. That's my plan as of now. We'll see!

I feel like this is where I'm heading too. That I want to make a special day for DS1 regardless of his lack of memory of it, and I can pull anything off for 2-3 hours, even if I am a post-partum haze. I'm thinking parents, in-laws, and close friends, keep the guest list under 20 and we can hack it!

I am glad I'm not allone in figuring all this out! We should talk more about the trials and tribulations of 2 babies in less than one year. I currently alternate between zen-like acceptance and freaking the heck out about the fact that we're more than halfway there and I have not raised a single finger to do a goddamn thing about the fact that there will be a newborn here before the New Year.

Are you doing a second nursery? We were going to, but now DH wants them to share. DS is an excellent sleeper and I do not want to do a single thing to throw a wrench into this. So I think I want a second nursery, but the thought of clearing out our spare room and making it habitable is just too much to think about right now. We could do it after he's born since if he's like DS1 he'll be in our room for the first four months--but if we don't have time now to get a room ready, who's to say we will have time when we're dealing with two babies in the house?

In short: GAH!

JennaRaek · August 2014

@MissMeegs You are not alone at all! I feel the same way as your last post. I try not to stress out, but sometimes it's impossible. Most of the time I'm really excited and then others I get really nervous. I think that's completely normal for what we're facing! I have a handful of friends who had 2U1. The general thing I've been told is that it's crazy, but great.

And don't feel too bad about having nothing done. We have a bed room that needs completely finished. I mean, it's wired and half insulated and that's it. We have a long way to go. We are doing 2 nurseries. I think even if the babies were the same sex, we still would. I agree with you when you say you don't want to mess up DS1s sleep schedule. And our current nursery isn't big enough for 2. The other room would be, but the whole sleeping thing scares me. Separate rooms it is! DD will probably be in our room in the RnP for about a month, which is what we did with DS and it worked out really well. DS is moving into the bigger room that isn't finished yet so DD is right next to our room. So it HAS to be done before she shows up. I keep telling DH this!

Get a hold of me anytime! We'll go crazy together!

Want a personalized experience?

What would you do?

Re: What would you do?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards