October 2014 Moms

Speaking of kids at the doctor's office . . .

At the other end of the spectrum from yesterday's post about kids in the waiting room, there was a woman in the waiting room at the OB with me yesterday with her daughter.  The girl was probably between 5-7, though I'm not a very good judge.  She was dressed like she was 10 (black capris and a pretty blouse with matching flips), but when I looked at her face, she looked closer to 5 or 6.  They sat down next to me, and the little girl said "Mommy, can I have an iPhone?"  The mom said sure, and took 2 iPhones out of her purse, handed one to the little girl and started texting on the other one.  The mom barely looked up from that screen for the full 25 minutes they were sitting next to me.  Meanwhile, the little girl sat playing a game on the other phone, talking about it (to herself, apparently, because mom clearly wasn't listening) and making noises and singing the whole time.  Every time the girl said something more directly to the mom, the response was generally just "uh huh."  At one point, I'm not sure whether the game said the word, or it was on the screen and she could read it, but the girl asked her mom what the word "inspired" meant.  The mom said, "hmm, that's kind of tough to explain..." and left it at that.  And the girl didn't seem bothered by that response at all.  She just went back to playing the game.  It was surreal.

I don't know what the mom might have been texting about or what she had going on in her life at that point, so I try really hard not to judge, but it was all so apathetic, I felt like I needed to share with someone.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
image
image

Re: Speaking of kids at the doctor's office . . .

  • That is sad, and I think it happens more and more often and not just with kids.  I don't know how many times we go out to eat and see tables of people who aren't even talking to each other, just staring/typing on their phones.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image              image
  • Loading the player...
  • Liss1481 said:
    That is sad, and I think it happens more and more often and not just with kids.  I don't know how many times we go out to eat and see tables of people who aren't even talking to each other, just staring/typing on their phones.
    Yes!  My husband is guilty of this and it drives me up the wall.  I consciously leave my phone in my pocket or bag or whatever when we are out somewhere, and I call him out on it all the time.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
  • SusieBW said:
    Liss1481 said:
    That is sad, and I think it happens more and more often and not just with kids.  I don't know how many times we go out to eat and see tables of people who aren't even talking to each other, just staring/typing on their phones.
    Yes!  My husband is guilty of this and it drives me up the wall.  I consciously leave my phone in my pocket or bag or whatever when we are out somewhere, and I call him out on it all the time.
    Mine does this too. I finally had to call him out as he was doing it because he didn't see it as a problem. It seems like an addiction sometimes. Like you would generally feel anxious putting down the damn phone!
    image
    image
  • I am a FTM, so it's easy to say a million and one things that I "will never do" but the obsession with electronic toys and gadgets drive me up the wall!

    I have a cell phone, and an iPad. Yes, I use them. However, if I'm at a meal, in a conversation, or out of my house with friends/family, my cell stays in my purse. Unless I'm concerned about what might be happening, I don't look at my phone.

    My mother, who is 65, is obsessed with her cell and iPad. I visit her now, and she pulls one or the other out EVERY time I see her. I've gotten to the point where I tell her that she's doing it, and ask her to put it away. For goodness sake! :)

    So, I do hope not to create a child who is dependant on electronic toys.

     It's a BOY! Est. Due Date - October 17th

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I'm guilty just this morning of having turned on a mickey mouse club episode for DD so I could send some important work emails.  Maybe the mom was telcommuting? :)


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I see both sides to this. It is hard to judge moms just taking 30 mins to do what they want outside of their child. If they do this all the time 24/7 then that is different but who knows because we don't know this lady.

    I'm mean I am sitting here at the OB and there are 11 people in the waiting room and 8 are on their phone.
  • I'm guilty just this morning of having turned on a mickey mouse club episode for DD so I could send some important work emails.  Maybe the mom was telcommuting? :)
    That's entirely possible, or maybe she was helping a friend or family member deal with some kind of tragedy, or any other completely legitimate thing, which is why I say I try really hard not to judge over this.  The apathy was just striking to me - the mom barely even acknowledged the kid the whole time they were sitting there, even the couple of times when she directly addressed her.

    I put on Mickey Mouse or whatever other cartoon just so I can get some chores done sometimes, so I'm guilty of it too.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
  • My daughter is 10 and all her friends are getting I phones and I pods and all kinds of electronics that they take everywhere. I won't allow my daughter to take electronics in stores or restaurants and rarely in the car. She is allowed to take a book almost anywhere. My daughter recently had a friend spend the night and her friend was on some kind of electronic device (I don't even know what it was) all night. I kept asking if they were going to play or talk but they didn't want to. I will say I'm guilty of looking at my phone when my kids are playing but I'm also a firm believer that kids need to know how to entertain themselves and play quietly when needed.
  • I see both sides to this. It is hard to judge moms just taking 30 mins to do what they want outside of their child. If they do this all the time 24/7 then that is different but who knows because we don't know this lady. I'm mean I am sitting here at the OB and there are 11 people in the waiting room and 8 are on their phone.
    Yeah, yeah, and if I'm sitting there by myself, chances are, I'm going to be doing something mindless on my phone, too.  But if I was with someone else, I probably wouldn't.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image

  • I'm guilty just this morning of having turned on a mickey mouse club episode for DD so I could send some important work emails.  Maybe the mom was telcommuting? :)
    Yup- sounds like my world.  Sometimes I have to take care of something work related while my son is with me and he is perfectly content playing on one of our other devices.  We tend to leave our devices at home so he usually is playing with a car or whatever else I happened to throw in my purse, but I definitely have had to make a very conscious effort to step away from my phone when he is with me b/c it is easy to want to take a mental vacation with it.  I personally see the parent using their phone as the same as reading a book or magazine- I've definitely witnessed the same type of scenario with a book vs a device.  I've learned that sometimes life with a toddler dictates doing things that you never thought you would do just to get through the moment so you can move onto being able to be more engaged with your child.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • lrobi13lrobi13 member
    edited August 2014

    The zombie apocalypse is already here... I can't make the image come up :(

    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/70931762855182403/

    image

  • I agree completely with the OP. DH and I like to take DS to this jungle gym like place at the mall. Almost every single parent there just lets their kid play while they sit down on the side and play with their phones. Yes, I understand independent play but I also think it's important to engage with your child. DS is younger so the two of us are constantly with him, helping him climb the slides and cheering when he goes down them etc. He is completely capable of playing independently, we just want to "share" that experience with him.

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • That was me at my last appointment.  It was TTGP Grad Check In, so I was Bumping. I had my 10yo and 2yo there, and they were playing quietly.

    Recently, DD has been asking to play games on my phone while in the car- we were only going to the grocery store!  A 15 minute drive.  I realized that being so glued to my phone is not sending the right message to my kids, so I've made a more committed effort to leave the phone in my purse if I don't need it.
  • That poor little girl. Clearly her mother just gives her the iPhone to get her out of her hair. She probably continued to play with the phone the whole car ride home too. And when she gets home, it's probably either the TV or iPad.
    No contact with human interaction whatsoever!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • ... And the first thing I thought was... I bet The girl was playing Sims on the phone...
    But in all seriousness, I really hope I don't just give my kids something and ignore them or be wrapped up in my phone to not be able to explain what a word means. I can see how easy it is just to give in though. DH and I are going to reign in our own phone use when this lo arrives.


    Pregnancy Ticker

    BabyFetus Ticker


  • One thing I noticed since having a kid - you notice all the kids who don't, in a 5 second assessment of course, seem as fiercely loved and thoroughly treasured as your own kid. And it makes your heart die a little.

    I really do worry about the communication skills of future generations because we are not teaching those skills if we're throwing tablets and phones at them.

     image
    image
  • I've never been that attached to my phone so I really struggle with understanding this type of thing. When DH and I are out I don't even think twice about taking mine out. We just have a conversation while we eat. It makes me really sad when I see people out and they are on their phones the whole time. DH will even take it out and I'll ask him to put it away. I don't get the urge to be this connected...if I left my phone at home one day on accident I'd not be a big deal for me.



  • The only time my kids get to play their leappads or my iphone is when we're waiting for a long time.  My OB was running over an hour behind this week and I had both kids with me.  I do think kids are given technology as a babysit too often, but it's hard to judge on one moment.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • It's definitely all about balance.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Lele74 said:
    ... And the first thing I thought was... I bet The girl was playing Sims on the phone... But in all seriousness, I really hope I don't just give my kids something and ignore them or be wrapped up in my phone to not be able to explain what a word means. I can see how easy it is just to give in though. DH and I are going to reign in our own phone use when this lo arrives.
    I'm pretty sure it was Sims, now that you mention it.  I think I heard her say that.  I don't know anything about Sims, though.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"