Birth Plan?

clumsyatheart · August 2014

Is anyone (or has anyone) drawing up a birth plan?

I'm curious because i'll only have my mom with me, i want an epi, and i will be formula feeding for health reasons. i just want to make sure my mom will be able to be there through everything and i won't be super pressured to BF. I am terrified of confrontation, so i am already panicking about any problems that could arise. Go me.

Does anyone have experience with birth plans or communicating these needs to hospital staff? I'd love some advice!

soulcupcake · August 2014

Birth Plan

I created one with my second, but planned homebirths after so my "plan" was and is pretty straightforward and typical for an out-of-hospital birth.

runningmama14 · August 2014

I'll be writing one. My hospital actually has a fillable pdf birth plan on their website that they encourage their moms to fill out. I'm guessing they do that to try to keep requests within the range they want to operate in, but I thought it was nice that they are so open to letting you choose the things that you want to an extent.

At this point, I don't think I'll be deviating off their script for mine, but I still need to sit down with my midwife and talk it through.

kimberly_ann81 · August 2014

I made one for Sweet Pea but not Peanut. For the most part just know what you want and let your labor "helper" know what you want. The nurses didn't read my written one anyways. With Peanut they just asked about pain management and if I was planning on breastfeeding.

lincoln79 · August 2014

We need to make one since we are using a surrogate, but it is a little intimidating. I think I will try to call the hospital this week to see if they have options?

So confusing...

runningmama14 · August 2014

@lincoln79‌ - maybe Google birth plans for surrogate birth? That might give you a good jumping point. I can understand why that's intimidating!

MmmPopcorn · August 2014

My doula gave me some sample birth plans, and our hospital provides a blank one with lots of boxes to check. I plan on following the same advice I would give to someone writing a resume--limit it to one page, include only the important stuff, and make it organized and easy to read. No one will read a 3-page birth plan, but a concise plan on one page seems logical and helpful, and the hospital actually requested one.

rahkitt · August 2014

I didn't find my hospital's pre-filled birth plan helpful at all. It's pretty much just an illusion of choice. I will be writing a very short bullet point one with only the most important things, I can always say no to things in the heat of the moment rather than creating arguments from the beginning.

Melodyhay · August 2014

I filled out the one one on TB. It's long and detailed. Plan on giving to my doc tomorrow at my appt.

lincoln79 · August 2014

runningmama14 said:

@lincoln79‌ - maybe Google birth plans for surrogate birth? That might give you a good jumping point. I can understand why that's intimidating!

I did that the other night and ended up in tears because I got so overwhelmed! I think I need to call the hospital first to understand what our options are. In our situation, it's really more about what happens after the birth rather than during. The only time we would have a say during the birth is if the well-being of our child is clearly an issue, otherwise it's her body/her decision.

We totally trust her, but things could get a little crazy.

Are birth plan's used for after birth care as well? I know I want skin-to-skin to start bonding ASAP, but how and to whom do I articulate that to?

Sorry for the rant, I really appreciate this post because it is where we are struggling right now.

runningmama14 · August 2014

lincoln79 said:

runningmama14 said:

@lincoln79‌ - maybe Google birth plans for surrogate birth? That might give you a good jumping point. I can understand why that's intimidating!

I did that the other night and ended up in tears because I got so overwhelmed! I think I need to call the hospital first to understand what our options are. In our situation, it's really more about what happens after the birth rather than during. The only time we would have a say during the birth is if the well-being of our child is clearly an issue, otherwise it's her body/her decision.

We totally trust her, but things could get a little crazy.

Are birth plan's used for after birth care as well? I know I want skin-to-skin to start bonding ASAP, but how and to whom do I articulate that to?

Sorry for the rant, I really appreciate this post because it is where we are struggling right now.

No need to apologize at all! Rant away. Have you done a hospital tour yet? I know ours was done by one of the nurses and we could have stayed after to get some one on one time with her for personal questions. Maybe that's an option for you?

carafern · August 2014

MmmPopcorn said:

My doula gave me some sample birth plans, and our hospital provides a blank one with lots of boxes to check. I plan on following the same advice I would give to someone writing a resume--limit it to one page, include only the important stuff, and make it organized and easy to read. No one will read a 3-page birth plan, but a concise plan on one page seems logical and helpful, and the hospital actually requested one.

This is me too. One page and doula gave me some ideas, she even suggested including a photo of you and DH at the top. I really don't think they'd read more than one page. A book I read even said just write a short paragraph about the most important things and your "philosophy".

silverwings72 · August 2014

lincoln79 said:

runningmama14 said:

@lincoln79‌ - maybe Google birth plans for surrogate birth? That might give you a good jumping point. I can understand why that's intimidating!

I did that the other night and ended up in tears because I got so overwhelmed! I think I need to call the hospital first to understand what our options are. In our situation, it's really more about what happens after the birth rather than during. The only time we would have a say during the birth is if the well-being of our child is clearly an issue, otherwise it's her body/her decision.

We totally trust her, but things could get a little crazy.

Are birth plan's used for after birth care as well? I know I want skin-to-skin to start bonding ASAP, but how and to whom do I articulate that to?

Sorry for the rant, I really appreciate this post because it is where we are struggling right now.

--------------------------------------------------
@lincoln79‌ - oh lady, I can see how this would be overwhelming for you. Maybe one of our labor and delivery nurse mamas on here could give you some pointers. Paging @lissydee‌!

I think you are doing awesome, and I have so much respect for you and your decision to use a surrogate. I love how open you are, and I hope you inspire other mamas that may be contemplating this.

Edit- quote box drama

lovingaddi · August 2014

I didn't really have one with DD1...I knew what I "wanted" (no epi & to breast feed) but I also knew that my no epi plan could change. This time I'll probably have one. Again...not sure on the epi...but I want skin to skin immediately after birth, I want her to feed right away (they gave DD1 a bath, etc before she latched), and no binkie.

crizz13 · August 2014

I typed up one page of bullet points. I'm a FTM so I'm not sure who I'm going to give it to...but it'll probably be good for my husband to have as a reminder because I can imagine he might get flustered if having to make a decision in the middle of labor and/or delivery.

Also, even if the nurses don't pay much attention to it, it made me feel better to actually write down what is important to me.

rox825 · August 2014

I just plan on typing up 1/2 page of a few bullets of the most important stuff. The rest I'll talk over with H and my drs and I think we'll make those decisions on the fly. My midwife actually said to just tell them what I want when the time comes, that the more I try to dictate in advance the more stressed I'm likely to be if things don't go as planned and that being stressed interferes with the birth process. I thought that was a little weird coming from a midwife, but I'm going to go with it cause there are only a few things I really care a lot about anyway!

jaminjeff · August 2014

My hospital has an online form they ask you to fill out asking the typical stuff from a birth plan. I'm planning on filling it out, mainly so they know I want skin-to-skin after my c-section (they just started offering it last year), the specifics of who I want around (DH only) and my BFing wishes.

jac409 · August 2014

Last time around I just made sure my DH knew what I wanted. It all worked out fine. I will do the same this time. I really can't imagine that anyone reads more than a paragraph anyway.

highbornhunter · August 2014

My hospital also has the page of check boxes you can fill out which covers the things that are most important to me anyway (med free, I want to be able to drink liquids, I don't want my movement restricted, and skin-to-skin immediately after birth).

Is it weird that I really can't wait for that day to get here? I know it's going to be challenging and probably not what I'm expecting but I can't wait to hold my baby!

2ndGeneration · August 2014

I will probably do a short bullet-point birth plan. I actually got a form one in the packet from my dr, but I want to do it my way.

I have had them before and don't know how much they get looked at, but it's good to have on hand at the hospital-my dh is a supportive guy but not very outspoken and he will use it as reference if he needs to advocate for me.

lincoln79 · August 2014

PSA: I just found this awesome blog to help with our birth plan. This is for a surrogacy situation, but might help others too.

Hooray!

https://www.returntosenders.com/2013/05/two-part-birth-plan-for-a-surrogacy-birth.html

jaminjeff · August 2014

NinerGirl52 said:

I'm of the school of thought that I'd like to go as medicine free as possible (just because I'm already on a ton of stuff to keep my asthma under control + my blood thinners), but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd like the L&D nurses to help keep my guest count to a minimum. We're letting the family know we'll call them after he's born and that we don't want young children to visit in the hospital. I've given dispensation to only my 2 older nieces (and my baby nephew - but those are rare exceptions). My sister looked totally overwhelmed by the kids that parents let loose in her hospital room after my nephew was born. It was nutty and I want no part of that.

Ew, who does that? No one even asked, let alone just showed up with a kid in my hospital room. And when I got home, I only had one person even ask if she could bring her 3 y/o over and I said no. Where do people think that's okay to just assume? Plus I walked out of the hospital with an unvaccinated child because my insurance didn't cover routine vacs at the time (have since changed) and we were going to the county health department the next morning where it cost me less than $50, so I was a nut case about keeping DS away from anyone who might be the least bit germy.

abbyful · August 2014

crizz13 said:
I typed up one page of bullet points. I'm a FTM so I'm not sure who I'm going to give it to...but it'll probably be good for my husband to have as a reminder because I can imagine he might get flustered if having to make a decision in the middle of labor and/or delivery.

Also, even if the nurses don't pay much attention to it, it made me feel better to actually write down what is important to me.

I briefly went over it with my doctor ahead of time, so if there was stuff in it that he had a different opinion on or didn't jive with hospital policy, we could discuss it. He put it in my file (my doctors' office rotates you through all the different doctors).

Then I took a few copies with me to L&D. (Copy for nurses, copy for DH, and extra in case one got lost.)

mslynn2012 · August 2014

runningmama14 said:
I'll be writing one. My hospital actually has a fillable pdf birth plan on their website that they encourage their moms to fill out. I'm guessing they do that to try to keep requests within the range they want to operate in, but I thought it was nice that they are so open to letting you choose the things that you want to an extent.

At this point, I don't think I'll be deviating off their script for mine, but I still need to sit down with my midwife and talk it through.

My hospital has a fill in form as well. Makes things easy

mrsodonnell12 · August 2014

jaminjeff said:

NinerGirl52 said:

I'm of the school of thought that I'd like to go as medicine free as possible (just because I'm already on a ton of stuff to keep my asthma under control + my blood thinners), but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd like the L&D nurses to help keep my guest count to a minimum. We're letting the family know we'll call them after he's born and that we don't want young children to visit in the hospital. I've given dispensation to only my 2 older nieces (and my baby nephew - but those are rare exceptions). My sister looked totally overwhelmed by the kids that parents let loose in her hospital room after my nephew was born. It was nutty and I want no part of that.

Ew, who does that? No one even asked, let alone just showed up with a kid in my hospital room. And when I got home, I only had one person even ask if she could bring her 3 y/o over and I said no. Where do people think that's okay to just assume? Plus I walked out of the hospital with an unvaccinated child because my insurance didn't cover routine vacs at the time (have since changed) and we were going to the county health department the next morning where it cost me less than $50, so I was a nut case about keeping DS away from anyone who might be the least bit germy.

What vaccines are you concerned about that are given at birth? As far as I know they only give hep b at birth which is really controversial since it's pretty tough for a baby to get hep b unless mom has it....

ejpetey · August 2014

Have you guys seen this? Pretty funny!

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan

mander82 · August 2014

My birth plan is just that I don't want to be cut down there unless its really necessary. I made this clear to DH already in case I am too out of it to know whats going on.

I also asked the dr. at my last appt. if they always cut everyone. She said no. They avoid it if at all possible, only if its really needed will I get cut.

jaminjeff · August 2014

mrsodonnell12 said:

NinerGirl52 said:

I'm of the school of thought that I'd like to go as medicine free as possible (just because I'm already on a ton of stuff to keep my asthma under control + my blood thinners), but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd like the L&D nurses to help keep my guest count to a minimum. We're letting the family know we'll call them after he's born and that we don't want young children to visit in the hospital. I've given dispensation to only my 2 older nieces (and my baby nephew - but those are rare exceptions). My sister looked totally overwhelmed by the kids that parents let loose in her hospital room after my nephew was born. It was nutty and I want no part of that.

Ew, who does that? No one even asked, let alone just showed up with a kid in my hospital room. And when I got home, I only had one person even ask if she could bring her 3 y/o over and I said no. Where do people think that's okay to just assume? Plus I walked out of the hospital with an unvaccinated child because my insurance didn't cover routine vacs at the time (have since changed) and we were going to the county health department the next morning where it cost me less than $50, so I was a nut case about keeping DS away from anyone who might be the least bit germy.
What vaccines are you concerned about that are given at birth? As far as I know they only give hep b at birth which is really controversial since it's pretty tough for a baby to get hep b unless mom has it....

mrsodonnell12 I realize that NOW, but I'm talking about three years ago. I wasn't very educated on vaccines when I first had my son (other than I wanted him vaccinated) and so I was a nervous nut case at that time.

highbornhunter · August 2014

ejpetey said:

Have you guys seen this? Pretty funny!
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/jamie-and-jeffs-birth-plan

I've seen it before, it's hilarious. This is what I was trying to avoid with my birth plan! If people really do have plans like this (as far as length and detail) I can see why people who have already had kids roll their eyes at them.

mrsodonnell12 · August 2014

jaminjeff said:

mrsodonnell12 said:

NinerGirl52 said:

I'm of the school of thought that I'd like to go as medicine free as possible (just because I'm already on a ton of stuff to keep my asthma under control + my blood thinners), but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'd like the L&D nurses to help keep my guest count to a minimum. We're letting the family know we'll call them after he's born and that we don't want young children to visit in the hospital. I've given dispensation to only my 2 older nieces (and my baby nephew - but those are rare exceptions). My sister looked totally overwhelmed by the kids that parents let loose in her hospital room after my nephew was born. It was nutty and I want no part of that.

Ew, who does that? No one even asked, let alone just showed up with a kid in my hospital room. And when I got home, I only had one person even ask if she could bring her 3 y/o over and I said no. Where do people think that's okay to just assume? Plus I walked out of the hospital with an unvaccinated child because my insurance didn't cover routine vacs at the time (have since changed) and we were going to the county health department the next morning where it cost me less than $50, so I was a nut case about keeping DS away from anyone who might be the least bit germy.

What vaccines are you concerned about that are given at birth? As far as I know they only give hep b at birth which is really controversial since it's pretty tough for a baby to get hep b unless mom has it....

mrsodonnell12 I realize that NOW, but I'm talking about three years ago. I wasn't very educated on vaccines when I first had my son (other than I wanted him vaccinated) and so I was a nervous nut case at that time.

Oooo! OK got it

MrsTuna08 · August 2014

I'll be writing up a brief birth plan, but I feel it is just as much to organize myself as to help get my wishes across to others. As a FTM I have no idea what I'm really in for so I keep on reading and talking with moms who have gone through it. I write things down that seem in line with what feels right for me so that I can remember them when I write up that short document to share with others.

carafern · August 2014

OP, I wanted to add that my midwife (and maybe its the same with other providers?) warned that the hospital will push BFing quite a bit. She said, we're pretty open to whatever you want in everything else but they pester you quite a bit if you don't want to BF, so I think you should be very clear about that choice (and make sure its in your file?) or you might have to deal with that.

clumsyatheart · August 2014

carafern said:
OP, I wanted to add that my midwife (and maybe its the same with other providers?) warned that the hospital will push BFing quite a bit. She said, we're pretty open to whatever you want in everything else but they pester you quite a bit if you don't want to BF, so I think you should be very clear about that choice (and make sure its in your file?) or you might have to deal with that.

thank you for passing on the warning!!! I wanted to avoid that as much as possible. Super nervous about having to explain my issues and such. I've already gotten some pretty terrible comments on the internet (not here though, which has been so nice), i can only imagine how scary it'll be in person. Must grow a thick skin and backbone before due date!

Did your MW mention anything about how they react to pumps? Or well, exclusive pumping.

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