Hoping I didn't ruin my breastfeeding chances with my princess :(

CubanPinky · August 2014

So this will be my third baby but first time really getting the low down prior to birth and not being forced into it. let me give you some background details….

My daughter was born almost 3 months premature, so when she came out she only weighed lbs and was tube fed for about the first month of her life. when she was strong enough we tried to breast feed, but she wouldn't take. So she went on Similac Neosure until she was able to move on and eat hard foods. My son was only a week premature, no complications homeboy just wanted out lol, but definitely didn't want nor took to my breast. I got checked out both times by my OBGYN and she even said that there was nothing wrong with my breasts or milk, they were producing regularly and everything. It was just that my kids didn't like it. So this time around I am doing everything by the book, and i am a little nervous about going ahead and breastfeeding with my princess. Problem is this…about a good 3 months ago i was hospitalized due to some major chest pains from my right breasts. Over a good 7 months previous i had removed nipple rings i had in for like the past 4 years (this was right after i had my son i got them). Both had healed up, but my right one would sometimes reopen and puss then close back up. it had been closed for about a good 3 months but i noticed that there was some major swelling around my nipple. So when I went into the hospital they ran some test and i had a major infection that was spreading across my chest. Luckily they did a extraction of the fluid and i was out of there within 3 days on antibiotics. Ive been good ever since, and baby girl is fine. No signs of the infection returning. But now I'm kinda of scared that it basically lowered my chances of really bonding with her via breast feeding. What are your honest opinions? I know we all aren't doctors and can't give professional advice, but just wanted to know if anyone had a similar experience or knew something that would calm me down and get rid of these nervous jitters. Thanks in advance luvs

PrimRoseMama · August 2014

"But now I'm kinda of scared that it basically lowered my chances of really bonding with her via breast feeding. What are your honest opinions?"

I'm not entirely sure infection would permanently damage your breasts or ducts in a permanent way?

As long as your breast tissue is functioning, there is minimal scarring & such, then you should be good to go.

You may be prone to infection & mastitis. Just make sure you keep the breasts well aired & clean. Even if you have to do a quick wipe down with white vinegar regularly etc. I spent a lot of time topless the first couple weeks anyway.

I'm a little confused about what you mean about bonding. Breast feeding is wonderful & definitely worth trying if that is your desire. However, if it doesn't work out you won't miss any quality bonding at all. At least not in my opinion. I've bottle fed my DD & am still BF my son. I feel very closely attached to both.

Good luck!

MrsDL · August 2014

Well plenty of moms don't breastfeed and it doesn't ruin bonding with their child - I know what you are saying about bonding via nursing but you can still bond while feeding. Don't get me wrong, I nursed for over a year and I definitely enjoyed the bonding time when nursing, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't have bonded while holding him and feeding him with a bottle if I had to - that's what dad did and it was special for him.

I wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself, it will just make your attempt at nursing worse and interrupt the process. If she wants to nurse, and you are safe to nurse and have no supply issues, then try it. If it doesn't work, the most important thing is she's being nourished adequately. Most people have no issues with nipple rings and infections and still have issues with nursing to the point they just can't do it. I've seen way too many friends in this situation really beat themselves up to the point they missed-out on enjoying time with baby due to stress/depression over not being able to nurse. Don't do that to yourself. Try and do the best you can, if it doesn't work, there are plenty of special ways to bond with your daughter.

thegoodpotato · August 2014

Everything everyone else has said. I bottle fed my first, and breast fed my second to 6mo, and I really have noticed no difference between my bonding with the two.

If anything, if you find you need to bottle feed this baby as well, you can try doing it topless. The skin-to-skin contact is a pretty big part of the bonding experience, and helps to calm an upset baby. It can give you a very similar experience.

Hopefully the doctors will have some answers for you on your infection. I hope it turns out that nothing has affected your ability to breast feed, and you have the success you're looking for. Find a good lactation consultant right after birth; they are incredibly helpful in overcoming obstacles.

But remember that if you just can't get it to work, you're not a failure, and your baby will thrive on the bottle, too (but you know that).