Help .... 29 weeks and the panic is settling in!

maggie713 · August 2014

What's the best advice you have for a first time mom of twins? All I can think about is exhaustion, and can't picture DH and I eating or sleeping at all. Perhaps if I expect the worst, it won't be that bad?!

thank you!!

RayRay007 · August 2014

I plan on having very few expectations of myself

I figure I won't be disappointed that way. I fully expect to have babies hanging off my boobs and me being exhausted 24/7.

eringerard35 · August 2014

I am 2 weeks away from the arrival of my twins and all I can do is picture myself a hot mess 24/7! haha, we will survive!

frank3jr · August 2014

DH and I were actually just talking the other day about how we miss this stage...now that we look back at it. We ate our dinner at 9 pm and things were a mess but the sleep deprived nights have some awesome stories. One of our favorites is when I was nursing a fake baby. One night my husband came back from the bathroom and I was sitting up and nursing and he asked what I was doing. He was freaking out looking for the baby and they were both sleeping in the crib....I had felt all I was doing was pumping/feeding all.the.time. Really, it was a great adventure.

But agreed, it really isn't as bad as I thought. Just know that the house will be a mess, order out food/frozen meals, etc, and laugh when you can! Know that loving your babies is what they need.

Brummy14 · August 2014

PPs pretty much nailed it. If you feel up to it, maybe stock your freezer with frozen meals, smoothies ready to go, things like that. Honestly, the only food I ate those first few months 1) didn't require any more prep than turning on the oven or 2) was delivered to me.

The hardest part for us was the nights -- but, our girls were pretty good, given the three months in the NICU had almost forced them to get used to sleeping in cribs, no issue. They were still up every 3 hours on the dot, though, for quite a while...

whitehousem · August 2014

Just know it's going to be hard for a while and you are going to be sleep deprived and you will prob cry a lot and you and your hubby will prob fight bc you're both exhausted and overwhelmed... But it will end! It's really hard at first, even with one baby. Just be glad you don't have a toddler too (me)!

reinforce healthy sleeping habits early (I'm not saying sleep train but get into a routine). Swaddle, use white noise, put them down at the same time if you can, put them down drowsy not asleep, etc. I started these things way earlier with the twins and it has helped immensely. But... If they will both take a two hour nap in their swings (or wherever)... Let them! And go take a nap or a shower.

Some babies are easier/harder than others so that will make a big difference too. Def stock up on freezer meals and snacks and have friends and family bring you dinners. When they ask what you need say "food and diapers!" My guys are 14 weeks and there are still really hard days but I survived those horrendous first few weeks/months and they feel long behind me now!

sasky · August 2014

AnotherDreamer said:
Best advice is to accept that you will be in survival mode for awhile lol. The house may be a mess, you may feel stretched to thin at times, but you'll survive.

Honestly, it's been rough but not as bad as I imagined... so maybe that helps, since I imagined things would be a lot worse.

This. I feel like the psychological prep and frequent mental reminders throughout this stage are what have kept me the most sane.

- Go into it knowing it will be crazy for a while.
- It may take some time, but it WILL get better. Eventually.
- When it gets really tough, just take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute even. It won't last forever and you'll get through it.
- For now there will be places you can't go, things you can't do, weekends away that are impossible, etc. You'll get there again. It may look a little different, but you'll get there. I remember the feeling of missing out on so many things when DS1 was born. I've had to remind myself as I see so many people go to the beach this summer. Just not possible right now and that's ok!

skeppler1 · August 2014

I won't lie, it will be hard in the beginning. But you will get through it and will be happy that you all got through it together.
Will you have any help besides your DH?
I had my mom stay with us for 6 weeks and that helped A LOT. She did the cooking when it wasn't an order in type of night and also cleaned up around the house. Did at least one load of laundry every day and took care of the little ones while I took naps.
My twins had to stay 2 weeks in the NICU so the nurses had them on a pretty good eating/sleeping routine when we brought them home and sleeping in our double bassinet wasn't a problem.
My DH had to go back to work pretty early so I needed my mom. Not sure what we would have done without her. My poor hubby would sleep during his lunch break at work since we both had to do night time feedings.
Once they started sleeping about 8 hrs at night things slowed down a bit and we were able to figure out more of a schedule for all of us.
I did freeze a few dinner meals while I was pregnant to prepare for the chaos which helped A LOT. Anything you can do before they come to help, I would do it now.
Some days you will be so tired that you will choose a nap over showering or eating, but make sure you eat and drink all the time.
Mine are 6 months now and we survived so I know you can.

Good luck and just enjoy the time you have with them also. Even if you get a little delusional at times

maggie713 · August 2014

Thank you all! I may need to tape little reminders around the house that it WILL get better!

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