Fussy Baby

Rileypie · August 2014

I have never been super active here but I figure no one else will understand more than A14 how rough the last 15 weeks have been. My sweet LO is so fussy. All. The. Time. It is sheer torture to go anywhere. She hates the swing, bouncy seat, car seat, stroller, basically life. She likes me to hold her and that's it. And I hate leaving her because I know she just screams the whole time. Left her with DH last night for 2 hours. Screaming when i left and when i got home. She nevrr stopped! I'm exhausted. My DH can't ever calm her down so its me 24/7. I'm the only person who can handle her, but even for me she is a handful. I just don't know what to do. I made an appt for myself to get some help-ppd meds.- but any tips? Do I just leave her with my mom or DH despite the screaming and how upset she gets? Or should I suck it up and wait to leave her when she is older and less fussy? Thank god I'm able to stay home with her. She really is so bad I'm afraid someone out of frustration would hurt her (paranoid I know but seriously its bad). According to ped she is healthy and just fine. Reading all this I sound like a crazy person...sigh.

BGGP9196 · August 2014

First off, sorry momma, that sounds so rough! Thankfully both of mine have overall been happy babies but I couldn't stand to leave them when they are fussy or all out screaming because as much as it grated on me I knew that I could eventually get them to calm down.

But I learned with DD1 that DH couldn't calm her down at first because I never really let him try (I would take her back becuase her cries would break my heart). My DH lovingly kicked me out of the house every Saturday for a couple of hours for several weeks. This gave him one-on-one time with his girl and gave me a much needed break. And lo and behold soon enough he had his own soothing techniques, some of them the same as mine but most were different.

Now this is not to say he had it easy, it took some time to get used to her cues but the first Saturday I was out he did say she cried pretty much the whole time

Mommy needs some me time, whether that is just going to the library and reading a book or going out shopping, getting a manicure, hair done etc,or dinner with friends, just some time away from the house and child. Make sure to leave her with someone you absolutely trust (mom or DH). If you are stressed all the time, your LO can sense that and it could be contributing to the fussiness.

If the pedi says she is healthy, I assume their are no gas or reflux issues? What is her sleep schedule like? Could she be overtired?

So overall I say yes still go out despite her getting upset but again only with people whom you absolutely trust. Hope it gets better for you and her soon!

penguinjenny · August 2014

I agree with @BGGP9196‌. Go out for a few hours and let your DH or mom learn their own techniques to soothe her. You shouldn't feel guilty about getting away so you can recharge. Also once your DH gets his own set of soothing techniques he can help out in the evenings so it's not just you 24/7.

nicole mackenzie · August 2014

You need to take care of yourself too.
She needs a healthy mommy.

I liked pp ideas. Let people you trust help you. She is fed, clean, and loved.
It's ok and good for you to go out alone.

Id also say go to a counselor as well if you are dealing with ppd. I am on meds and see a councelor weekly. Not because I have a "bad" baby but because my hormones are out of whack. It may not help your LO not be fussy, but it should help you learn coping skills and be able to voice your thoughts in a judgment free zone.

If you call and say you just had a baby or have ppd/ppa psychologists are quick to get you in.

One last thing; switch coubcelors if its not a good match. It's more helpful with the right person.

Hugs! And best wishes

*sparky* · August 2014

I would say the longer you wait the harder it will be when you do try to leave her with someone else. She is only going to become more aware of how much she loves you. :-)

Try leaving her with DH/your mom for short periods at first. If she has a time she is less fussy then try leaving her at those times at first so they have an easier time of it. If there are any tricks you have make sure you tell them what they are, although they may just have to figure out their own.

But you definitely need breaks and if she is going to be fussy no matter what, you may as well get some time to yourself once in a while.

Good luck!

momofmanyinthemitten · August 2014

DD1 was the same way. At 5.5 mos, she became a bit easier, so hopefully your LO will follow suit. I read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, and it was like a light bulb going on. She was a "touchy baby" and I had to change the way I was parenting to accommodate her better. I left her with DH on occasion, but she was never "good" for him. I left her with my ILs a couple of times when I had an appt. I say leave her with a trusted family member who understands that they may not be able calm her, so they shouldn't be discouraged.

Rileypie · August 2014

Thanks everyone. This whole mom thing is so much harder than I ever imagined. My OB recommended a therapist- thanks for the suggestion! Great ideas from everyone. Also ordered a few books too for ideas on how to make LO happier. She does get overtired and I know that doesn't help. She's not a great sleeper. She's takes reflux meds too. We have her 4 month appt in 2 weeks so I will see if ped has any new thoughts. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one with issues :-) thanks ladies

Rileypie · August 2014

@tlp2558‌ yes we check her weight roughly every 3 weeks and she takes it 3x a day. She's just soooo sensitive to the world!

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