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February 2014 Moms
Meghan14
member
SAHM check-in (a day early)
Meghan14
member
Tomorrow my schedule is packed so I'm posting a little early. I hope you ladies don't mind. I'll post now for any ladies who like to respond Tuesday am and check back after gymnastics tomorrow.
Also, I may not have internet access while out of town. Can someone please volunteer to run the SAHM check in on 8/19 & 8/26? Bonus points if you tag me in the post so I can find it easily when I return.
What were your successes this week?
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
What helped save your sanity?
Topic for the week: How do you and your partner divide household tasks? Has this division of labor changed since LO's arrival?
GTKY: LO's grandparent just arrived and hands you $100 and insists you go have "you time" for a few hours. Where are you heading?
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
F'14 October Siggy Challenge: Animals in Costumes
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SAHM check-in (a day early)
Thanks for doing this, @Meghan14! I'm happy to help in the next couple weeks if Books needs back-up.
What were your successes this week? A successful vacation where LO did great! Specifically, getting all three of us packed and ready to go without losing my mind. I'm also totally unpacked and my Mount Everest of laundy is 2/3 done.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? I got really upset during vacation. I think part of it was tired. But the other part was that I didn't get a break, except for one evening when my parents kicked us out to go out for awhile. I did all the packing, all the care during vacation, all the wake ups, all the everything. I just wanted DH to step up to give me some time to relax. I know it was his vacation too, but I couldn't help but feel that he got lots of time to do what he wanted and relax while I was busy with LO. I'm thankful my parents were there to help, but it shouldn't be up to them to make sure I can eat my dinner or whatever. I realize this makes DH sound like a bad dad and husband and he's totally not. It just hit me once again that being a mom has changed how I live my day-to-day life while that's not necessarily the case for DH.
What helped save your sanity? A beautiful date night on a twilight cruise on the St. Lawrence. I didn't need to be anyone's mom. I could just completely relax and enjoy. (LO taking a three hour nap today was also pretty helpful.)
Topic for the week: How do you and your partner divide household tasks? Has this division of labor changed since LO's arrival? So pre-LO, when I was working full time, I cooked/laundry and DH cleaned. This was the same last year when I was pregnant but only working PT. Since LO, I think I tend to do a little more -- and DH expects that (that was a scandal three months ago). Now DH does the outside chores, the litter box, and dishes sometimes. I do everything else. There are exceptions. Tonight I said one of us could vacuum while one of us did LO bath. He chose vacuuming. I'm not a slave to my house though, and I can deal with a fair amount of clutter. In Sept. I become a modified SAHM, and there will need to be another shift in who does what -- especially as outside chores will wind down.
GTKY: LO's grandparent just arrived and hands you $100 and insists you go have "you time" for a few hours. Where are you heading? The Hampton Inn. Kidding. Kind of. I'm going to the Melting Pot for chocolate fondue all for me, Barnes & Noble for a new book and some reading time, and maybe mani/pedi (depending how many books I buy).
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
@bookshelves I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers for sure. Also...what is 2-3-4. I think I missed it. Will it help my baby sleep at night?
Successes: does surviving count? DH got drafted for a bunch of overtime last week and this week. He worked 80 hours last week. This week is 94 hours. So I've been doing things basically solo. I'm so tired already.
Struggle:
see above.
What helped save sanity?
Getting out of the house once in a while. I have been going to town a few times a week. I feel like I start to go nuts if I stay at home too many days in a row. I've also been trying to go for a walk every day.
Topic for the week - house work:
I do the majority of the work in the house. DH usually does the outside stuff. DH will help with the house if I ask him to, but he doesn't seem to see what needs done. He also sometimes has no time to help because of work. Things haven't changed much since LO.
GTKY - $100:
Well, I think I would get a massage, sushi, and then go to the pub I like for a pint. That sounds great right now anyway.
Made it through the week without DH home. So glad to have him back around. Also I packed and made it to San Francisco to meet DH for our 10 day road trip.
Struggle?
MIL is starting to drive me a little crazy. Normally we get along great but having her along on our road trip is trying my patience. She is trying to help but sometime I have to say No, I'll take care of my own LO, thank you.
Sanity saver?
Having DH back. The help and support is great but also just someone to share my crazy thoughts with or bounce ideas off of.
Topic of house chores?
Before LO our philosophy was if you want something clean then you clean it yourself. Which usually meant I would do it. Now that LO is hear we have tried to adjust but because I'm home I feel like it's my responsibility to clean it all. DH handles the lawn care though.
@carleys I also try to invite people over so it forces me to keep the house clean.
GTKY, Grandparents + $100?
A fancy dinner. Maybe a kid-free movie.
Also big hugs to @Bookshelves - praying for you and your family.
Going to post my reply, then go back and read through
What were your successes this week? Spending the weekend at the lake with MH, DD, SIL, BIL, nephew, and FIL. It actually went pretty smoothly, despite having one terrible night.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? Packing up everything for the weekend away, without forgetting anything! Also, DH and I are having 'issues'. Nothing major, I think we are just annoying the crap out of each other. He told me this morning that he was leaving for work (a few minutes early) because I was being a jerk.
What helped save your sanity? Just the fact that I only work two days per week, and have the flexibility to work around MH schedule as much as possible. I wish I could say that our mini-vacation helped, but the stress of getting everything together and packed (without forgetting anything), staying with the ILs all weekend, and then the super horrible sunburn I got on top of it all (and MH basically having 'fun' while I did all the not fun things-packing, washing bottles, etc etc), really made it not fall into this category.
Topic for the week: How do you and your partner divide household tasks? Has this division of labor changed since LO's arrival? Pre-LO, we basically worked together on everything. He would mow using the rider and weed eat, I would use the push mower. If I was washing dishes, he would dry. We would split all the laundry, working together to get it all done. We would also split rooms for cleaning (he would clean his bathroom and the basement, I would clean my bathroom and the upstairs) He dusts, since I despise it. Now, the majority of it falls on me. I don't dust (still despise it), but I quick-clean bathrooms all the time (he does the in-depth cleaning of his own occasionally). I do 90%+ of the laundry, I do all of the cooking, 98% of the dishes, etc. I think part of that is leading us to our 'issues'-I get frustrated because I feel like I'm doing 'everything' and he gets to do the fun stuff. We really need to sit down and talk it all out.
GTKY: LO's grandparent just arrived and hands you $100 and insists you go have "you time" for a few hours. Where are you heading? Probably first for a pedicure! It's been too long since I've had one (since before LO-probably about a year ago). I would also probably window shop, and end up buying things for either MH or LO, rather than me.
Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.
dx PCOS 2007
BFP #1 (natural) 12/23/2010. Stillbirth due to IC 4/2/2011
TTC #2 starting 03/2012
RE starting 07/2012
05/2013 BFP on a Letrozole (Femara)/trigger!
Cerclage, Procardia, Makena, GD (with insulin), MBR, and we made it!
Our Angel was born sleeping at 20 weeks due to IC.
@bookshelves Hang in there. T&Ps to you and your family
@shellbell3845 Exactly--DH still gets up at the same time every morning, does the same things. I have to get up almost 2 hours early (even earlier if I want to work out), so that I can get myself ready and my things together, then baby's things together, make sure bottles are all washed before I leave, and get baby up, fed, dressed, and out the door.
Also, ((hugs)) to all the mamas that have been doing it all solo here lately.
dx PCOS 2007
BFP #1 (natural) 12/23/2010. Stillbirth due to IC 4/2/2011
TTC #2 starting 03/2012
RE starting 07/2012
05/2013 BFP on a Letrozole (Femara)/trigger!
Cerclage, Procardia, Makena, GD (with insulin), MBR, and we made it!
Our Angel was born sleeping at 20 weeks due to IC.
Challenge/struggle: LO has been extra fussy and I've had horrible headaches. Bad combo. Also just knowing that summer is almost over and DH's schedule is about to get even crazier with fall practice and games, recruiting trips, and on-campus recruits. It's depressing.
Sanity- A good friend is on maternity leave with her second so we take the babies for walks while her older soon is at daycare M/W/F. It's so nice to get out and have conversation.
Topic: There is no division. I do it all. Well, DH mows the lawn.
GTKY: I would get a massage!
@lbliss, 10 day road trip with your MIL? wow. That takes patience and love of your partner:)
This week successes: Taking care of things around the house that we're bothering me.
Struggles: I'm still letting R nap on me. Which makes for lots of R and mommy time. I sometimes like a break from him. I need to start putting him to nap in his crib. The only problem is he cries when I do it.
Sanity saver: my sister was here last week to help me out when my wife was away for work. It was nice having adult conversation and a good meal.
$100 you say? A massage where I could fall asleep on the table.
QOTW: I do a lot of chores because I'm home more and I never sit still. We share in the chores and both just do what needs to be done to keep the house running.
What were your successes this week?
I joined a Meet-up for parents with kids born in 2013-2014. It's perfect because LO will be right in the middle age wise.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
We are going out of town and I am dreading it. I am already stressing about how to pack for LO and about dealing with my sister.
What helped save your sanity?
On Saturday DH sent me out for a massage and pedi. I needed that so badly.
Topic for the week: How do you and your partner divide household tasks? Has this division of labor changed since LO's arrival?
I used to do most of the cleaning and laundry. He cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen after meals, and did the yard work. We used to split the cooking and grocery shopping, there was no schedule or anything, but it all just kind of got done. We've kept things pretty much the same but he has taken over ALL of the cooking. Sometimes I think we should switch so he could have some more time with LO, but I never push for this because I'd always take a baby job over a kitchen job.
GTKY: LO's grandparent just arrived and hands you $100 and insists you go have "you time" for a few hours. Where are you heading?
A quiet restaurant for lunch with a good book. Then a pedi. Then if I still had time, the park where I would continue reading, perhaps with a coffee or an ice cream, depending on the weather.
I'm on week 3 of living like a single parent. H has a huge deadline and he's been working so much that he hasn't been home except to sleep. But I feel like I've done well with not losing my mind by planning things to do every day so I'm not just counting the minutes.
What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Accepting help from my in laws since my mom is unavailable to help right now. They make me crazy, but I've been trying really hard to let go, but set limits where I can.
What helped save your sanity?
Planning things with my friends who have kids too.
Topic for the week: How do you and your partner divide household tasks?
Has this division of labor changed since LO's arrival?
Since LO has arrived, house work has really fallen my the way side. When H is home, he does a lot if I haven't asked him to watch LO so I can work. When H works, I do what I can when LO naps or when I can put her down to play independently for long periods of time. But for now, the bare minimum gets done by both of us.
GTKY: LO's grandparent just arrived and hands you $100 and insists you go have "you time" for a few hours. Where are you heading?
Mani/pedi, to the movies, and then bargain shopping.