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December 2014 Moms
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He wants to know babies sex and I do not.

BeansjjoBeansjjo member
in December 2014 Moms
My boyfriend and I are having trouble deciding on if we should find out the sex or not. I do not want to know and have a delivery room surprise, while he wants to know.. what do we do? Anyone else have this problem ?
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Re: He wants to know babies sex and I do not.

  • BeansjjoBeansjjo member
    Did they have any troubles ? We are buying nuetral but if he picks something gender specific not realizing it hes totally going to give it away! Do you know what they did durring shopping ? Maybe go seperate ways and hiding it from me lol
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  • sbevann26sbevann26 member
    Me and DH were the complete opposite. I wanted to find out and he did not. I eventually caved, and decided to be team green. My reasoning for this:

    1) it was very important to him (he says it's the only true surprise in life)

    2) finding out the sex of the baby will not change preparation.. In fact it will actually make me spend more money, because I will buy ten thousand outfits.

    3) I figured it would be one more thing to keep my mind off of the pain in delivery. (You can use this to your advantage because YOU are pushing it out of YOUR vagina)

    You can get the doctor to put it in your file and just wait a little longer to find out.

    Remember you can always find out, but you can never un-find out.
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  • BeansjjoBeansjjo member
    Thats one of the main reasons on my side in hopes it will save a little money, I am the same way I would want to buy so much stuff ! Here now as we both dont know yet I am still able to walk away from items and go for a more practical item and nuetral color. This is so hard I feel he might slip and as mentioned his response and action to something girl or boy will totally give it away. Im not letting my stand go I dont want to know, but if there so was some way for him to know and me not find out, guess its going to have to be one of those live and learn situations lol I want a little surprise for all the hard work im doing making this baby!
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  • BeansjjoBeansjjo member
    Also we have definate names picked for both girl and boy.
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  • colliebabecolliebabe member
    I think if it were only up to my H he would choose to find out too, but he knows how much I love being Team Green so we are doing that again. I know if he found out and I didn't, he would definitely slip up, especially with pronoun use. I can't imagine him not saying "he" or "she" if he knew.

    One good thing is that it's not like you guys are never going to find out, it's just about waiting a little longer. I had no problems planning despite not knowing the sex (sounds like you won't either) and it's easy to go out and get some "girl" or "boy" stuff after the fact.
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  • allonsyalonsoallonsyalonso member
    Where one of you wants to know and the other does not, I feel like it's fair to go with not knowing. It's one of those things where if you change your mind there are always ways to go ahead and find out before the baby is born (elective ultrasounds aren't much more than what I pay for one through the doctor with insurance), but you can never UN find out once you know.

    This is from the perspective of someone who has found out both times, for what that's worth.
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  • pregnantinstylepregnantinstyle member
    My aunt and her husband decided they didn't want to know the sex of their second baby. It seems like the suspense was just too much for them so her husband decided to ask the doctor. Obviously she has to tell him being that he is the baby's father but my aunt did not. I knew he had a hard time keeping it a secret because when people asked what the sex was he had to bite his tongue and change the subject. My aunt was not happy about this but what can you do. He has every right to know what he's having just as much as she does so it's his choice to. But still I'm assuming he never told her because everything was color neutral and they wound up having a beautiful baby boy.
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  • esr9435esr9435 member
    We were in the same position and I finally sat my husband down and explained that it was very important for me to wait. I want him to be the one to announce it in the delivery room and to be honest, I know I'll need the extra motivation to get that baby out! He agreed that since he wasn't the one going through the pain of labor, that it was fair if it was that important to me. I promised for the next one he can know ahead of time though and I'm letting him pick out both a boy and girl coming home outfit. Compromise!
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  • perfectlove09perfectlove09 member
    With DD I wanted to find out and he didn't really care. Now this time I am adamant that I don't want to know and he reaaaaalllly wants to. I feel the same as others...it's not like we're never going to know. We're just going to know later on. This will be our last child and that's a big pull for me to say "I want to try both ways" so he's kinda relenting.

    Our A/S is tomorrow.

    I've had this on going debate in my head over this. The temptation for me to know is overwhelming. My logical side knows it's doesn't matter in the slightest for planning or preparing. My OCD side is going nuts. I had a dream a few weeks ago that we found out at the scan that it was a girl. I was excited for 3 seconds and the rest of the dream I was pissed off. I kept thinking "ok. Well that changed nothin. Why didn't we just wait" I woke up pissed lol
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