PPD/PPA Check In

KerCo51 · August 2014

Ok, so it has been a few weeks since our last check in and there has been some discussion recently about PPD/PPA on the board. How is everyone doing?

KerCo51 · August 2014

I am doing pretty well this summer. A trigger for me was being at home alone with the baby, so I was concerned about being home with DD while I was off this summer. I am really enjoying this time at home with her. We are keeping busy most days. I hope to start weaning off of medication next month. I plan on continuing with therapy for a long time, because I think it's great to talk to someone who is impartial.

skyla13 · August 2014

I've not really commented on this thread before. I am doing worse than before, unfortunately. I think it is being fueled by the family issues and the sudden fierce appearance of AF. I just find myself obsessing with worry a lot at night and disconnecting during the day. I am noticing I'm stressing out faster, getting depressed easier. I wish I had someone I can confide in, but it is hard to find people who aren't going to judge my family, you know? Anyway, I have another dr appointment end of this month. So we shall see.

Jenball717 · August 2014

Love tits for support. @skyla13‌ I hope you get it all figured out so you can start feeling better!

KerCo51 · August 2014

I always have a lot more anxiety right before my period, so I can relate. @skyla13 are you seeing a therapist? They won't judge your family and it's great to get that stuff out.

skyla13 · August 2014

@wedding06 same! I can't stand the night sweats! That's one of the reasons I want to talk to the doctor and see about taking something different.

@KerCo51, this is what makes the whole situation even more depressing. My husband and I have gone to a fabulous therapist for years. I loved him...and then he suddenly and unexpectedly died this year. So yeah, just writing that makes my throat hurt. I haven't gotten the guts up to see someone new ... but I really probably should.

KerCo51 · August 2014

@skyla13 Oh man, I am sorry. I can see how you would be hesitant to find another therapist.

KerCo51 · August 2014

@lynnyloo I started with my ob, but she put me on too high of a dosage too quickly. I then went to my PCP, who gave me xanax and referred me to a psychiatrist. I don't think going to a psychiatrist is necessary, but it is what works best for me.

trackgirlparis · August 2014

comeongetdown said:
@lynnyloo & @skyla13 I hope you're able to find the help you need! Feel free to pm me anytime, I struggled with PPD for a while without realizing it, then without doing anything about it. I'd hate for y'all to suffer through something like this

My psychiatrist increased my dosage of Zoloft a couple times until we settled on something that works. I've been on it for about 4 months now and it's made a HUGE difference in almost every part of my life. I'm so much more patient, I don't want to strangle my husband every second of the day, I feel that "mom love" for my baby, I can focus on work, I'm not stressed out about house chores. It's been so freeing.

I told my psychiatrist that after feeling so well now I wondered if I may have been mildly depressed before getting pregnant, then it was just exacerbated by the pregnancy and birth. She said that's totally normal and she sees that happen a lot.

She wants me to be on Zoloft for a year before I start to wean. I'm nervous about that because I'm scared of sinking back into depression, but I'll worry about that next summer.

I'm super grateful to y'all and other PPD/PPA moms that helped encourage me to seek help and treatment!! I seriously doubt I would have even known what was going on with me if it wasn't for O13 mommas

I'm so happy to hear this

seriously, so happy you're feeling better!

huntjul · August 2014

I chimed in on a check in last month and thought I'd provide an update even though subsequently my doc diagnosed me with depression (always had that) and anxiety (that's new) but he's not calling it PPD/PPA because he feels it's related to other stressors in my life besides baby. BUT, semantics. I am PP and I am depressed/anxious, so here I am.

He doubled my zoloft dose a month ago after I felt the world might end. I probably only managed to survive July without a crisis because I had the last 10 days off regular work for a conference and a few days' vacation. After that trip I feel a lot better. I am actually sleeping some now, though I still struggle to go back to sleep after LO wakes at night. I don't feel like I'm going to default on every commitment I ever made. Just some of them

I asked the doc to change me back to the antidepressant I was on before and during pregnancy (bupropion/wellbutrin) despite it being less BF-friendly, due to zoloft side effects. FX the switch doesn't provide a dip in effectiveness and the return of symptoms.

@lynnyloo I hope you can get in with your OB or find a new PCP to discuss the possibility of PPD/PPA. Sometimes it's tough to recognize these things in ourselves, and having a discussion with the doc is probably a good thing. I hope you get some help.

huntjul · August 2014

missgpsu said:

Horrible, but I am in denial. I really should seek help, but it just makes me even more anxious. I had a bit of a meltdown last week that a few bumpies and DH helped me work through. I am a very rational person. Rationally, I know I am not a failure, but every step of parenthood has really made me feel like a failure and the bump just makes it worse so I took a week off of this board and the Facebook board. That helped. I just get so upset that B never gets the easy route. My delivery was a complete mess and B had to fight to live. Breastfeeding was a disaster and B ended up having horrible weight issues. And now, she is struggling to just be a "normal" baby and move. A little tiny baby shouldn't have to struggle so hard. All of this, plus Noodle going blind this summer just overwhelmed me. I got as far as looking up psychologists and then got overwhelmed because I had no idea who to choose. So basically, said fuck it all and went back to the thousand other things I had to do.

@missgpsu - as you said, you've struggled a little more through new parenthood through issues that have been no fault of your own. I'm sorry that's been your road. I think all new parents go through some feeling of failure at some point or another, but if you're having anxiety, meltdowns, etc, it does sound like it's time to ask someone for help and it sounds like you know that already.

Go see your OB, or your PCP, or a psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist. Pick the one you know the best (probably your OB or PCP), or pick the a new one whose office is closest to your house or whose name sounds the smartest or is just the easiest to pronounce. It doesn't matter, just reach out to one of them and take that first step. Hugs!

KerCo51 · August 2014

@missgpsu I am so sorry that you're struggling right now. It's understandable while you are stressed. I also just randomly picked a psychiatrist from a list my doctor gave me. A lot of things aren't in your control, but I understand stressing them anyway. I am sorry that B has had to struggle, but every in every picture you post of her she looks like a beautiful and happy baby.

lmreath · August 2014

I'm doing ok right now. I ended up seeing my pcp the other day and got a script for Ativan. I haven't needed to take it yet. I am thinking of seeing a therapist, I just need to get through tomorrow. We go to children's hospital to have E evaluates for dwarfism. I just am so overwhelmed. Once we get through tomorrow, I think we will all feel better. I hope everyone is getting the help they need.

KerCo51 · August 2014

Good luck tomorrow @lmreath.

lmreath · August 2014

@KerCo51‌ thanks. It can't come soon enough.

KerCo51 · August 2014

@MonkeyToes15 You have so much strength and I am sure what your feeling is very normal for what you're going through. Stay strong!

KerCo51 · August 2014

I said before that my anxiety cycles with my period. This is the week that I should be anxious and I am not. I am hopeful that my body is going back to normal, but now I am starting to wonder if I am pregnant. I woke up at 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep with this on my mind.

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