Am I normal to freak out about a vacation?

jcrising · July 2014

DH and I are going on vacation for a week and leaving DD with her grammy (who is awesome and capable and they completely adore each other) yet I am FREAKING out about leaving her and have been randomly crying about it for days. I am afraid of what might happen to her while I am gone and afraid we may not ever come back, or ten other paranoid irrational fears. Am I normal? How do I calm down to enjoy this vacation? Help!

hmp1 · July 2014

It does sound a bit extreme to be crying about maybe never coming back. Totally normal to feel scared to leave your child for a long period of time for the first time, and be sad about missing them. But the fear of never coming back makes me think you might benefit from anxiety meds for the trip. I have plenty of friends that have to take something to fly or go on vacation. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help.

Hyaline · July 2014

Like hmp, I think it's normal to fret a little and maybe even have a good cry over it, if you're the cry it out type. But repetitive, cyclical anxious behavior and being ruled by irrational fears? Not normal. And frankly...I would consider delving a little deeper into why this is setting you off, rather than looking into anxiety meds for the trip alone. It's not normal that leaving your child with a trusted family member should set off this kind of anxiety. Meds might get you through the trip, but they're not going to get to the deeper issue of WHY this is such a trigger for you.

Can you talk to your H or an IRL friend to process this a little more? Maybe talking through some of your fears with someone you trust and who knows you and your family well will help--either by putting real concerns into perspective or by helping you to see that you're actually inventing some of these fears.

AKB090609 · July 2014

I think it's normal. I also think that you are probably working yourself up to the point of irrational fear by fixating on how nervous you are. I've only been away from DD1 overnight once, to have DD2. I pretty much lived in a panic attack mode for 24 hours before DD2 was born (the anxiety over having a c-section, leaving DD for the first time, and my mother and inlaws all waiting at my house was just too much for me).

The things that helped me calm down the most were

A) reminding myself that the thoughts I was having were irrational

and

controlling what I could by making lists of DD's normal routine and thing I needed to do

I hope you are able to relax and enjoy your trip.

MRoxy0628 · July 2014

I would be nervous too and I too would worry about the things you mentioned (even if they're very unlikely to happen). When I'm having irrational fears, I repeat a mantra, such as "There is nothing I can do to control this, everything will be fine". I think focusing on what you can control is a great idea. You've already made plans for the trip, so you'll have to focus on how to get through it. Hopefully, you have a ton of fun things planned and you'll hardly have time to think about your worries on you're there.

MississippiCatfish · July 2014

I think AKB gave some good advice. I would be very, very nervous to leave for a whole week. I cried when DS1 left after visiting me at the hospital when I had DS2 this month. That was 2 nights. Other than that hospital stay, I've only spent 3 nights away from DS1. Maybe it's a "practice makes perfect" scenario...the more you do it, the less nervous you get.

redneckmomma25 · July 2014

I left G with my sister for our first vacation without her a couple weeks ago. I literally make my self sick(stomach aches and diarrhea) with fear and worry of what might happen before the trip. It was about halfway on our drive and I eased up and had a great time. I worried about everything from the house burning down to us not coming home. G and I just went on vacation with my dad and I did the same thing in the days leading up to the vacation. Hit the jersey turnpike and I was ok.

jcrising · August 2014

Thanks all for the advice. I did talk to many people IRL that helped me solidify the fact that my extreme fears were irrational. Once we got to the airport I was fine (I always have a bit of anxiety during take-off and landing, but nothing terrible and nothing more than usual on this trip). Of course all was fine and DD had a great time with her Grammy and we had a great vacation.

Am I normal to freak out about a vacation?

Re: Am I normal to freak out about a vacation?

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