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April 2014 Moms
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Leaving LO for for full day- yet another WWYD

knotty-girlknotty-girl member
in April 2014 Moms
So my birthday is coming up. My best friends wife's birthday is a few days after mine, and we always go to Disneyland together to celebrate. I actually had completely forgot that my birthday is next week until they called to invite me. 

I'm almost certainly decided on not going because LO is too small to come and I think I'd feel guilty leaving him with his grandma for an entire day (DH would not be able to stay with him because of work) at this young for a fully selfish endeavor. I've only left LO for brief periods, for appointments and to run necessary errands, where I didn't want him to be stuck to his seat and taking him in and out of a hot car. If I did choose to go, even the logistics of it seem like a lot of trouble, I'd use up a large chunk of my freezer stash, and I'd have to pump throughout the day at Disneyland. And I'd probably not enjoy myself as much feeling guilty and worrying about LO. I know I'll have lots of opportunities to enjoy Disneyland WITH LO in the future. 

But I was just wondering before I decline what other moms think about it. Would you go? Am I a shitty mother if I do? Am I a shitty mother for even entertaining the idea? Am I overthinking it?  Where do you draw the line between self care and being selfish?  I haven't done anything for myself since LO was born except get my hair and brows done once which is really more of a chore than a luxury.
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Re: Leaving LO for for full day- yet another WWYD

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  • PoppySeedWindsorPoppySeedWindsor member
    I've learned it's really important to make sure you're more than just a mom. Knotty, you and I are very much in the same situation...we used to make moolah and then became SAHMs even before our LOs were here. I think you also struggled with being just a SAHM and feeling not like you deserve to do stuff for yourself.

    But you do. 

    You TOTALLY do. 

    I also understand the logistics and what a pain in the ass it might be. If you can't fully enjoy yourself because of pumping/worrying, then I say bring her? Maybe bring some milk with you too so that, if you want to drink/have a good time, you can, without worry. I think it'd be a  lot of fun to take Merri on a day like that and make sure she can be with people if you want to ride rides. Sure, a stroller at Disneyland might be a PITA but it isn't the worst thing in the world. Also, if you have friends who would be cool with hanging out with your LO, I say go for it. 

    My advice in a nutshell: Don't NOT go. DO IT! If you can be a non-mom for the day, I'd love to hear about your day. If you wanna be mom and celebrate your birthday, combining the two experiences, I'd love to hear about that too!
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  • RedDawnsRevengeRedDawnsRevenge member
    Pumping at Disney sounds like a nightmare. If I went I'd bring the baby. Lots of near stuff. While we couldn't afford to go into the park DD1 loved the shopping in the Disney walk. And the rainforest cafe.
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  • TwirpleTwirple member
    I would go, and take a manual pump with me, since it is really light weight.  I think it is really important to have time for you.
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  • smushismushi member
    I have left LO from 8-3 for a few times with my mother (she offered) for trainings for school.  She has also offered to take him so we could have time away or dates.  I'd pump for each time (about a week in advance).  I don't feel guilty, but I miss LO like crazy.  My mom does understand that mommies need time away to stay healthy and happy.  I also am very comfortable leaving LO with her, because she is up on all the good stuff, plus knows exactly how to soothe a baby and keep him happy while I'm gone.  8-3 would mean maybe two pumping sessions, and you could either take a hand pump, which would equal, what 20 minutes in a spot? or an electric pump for 10 minutes in a spot?  You wouldn't have to clean the equipment because you weren't feeding it to baby later, I'd assume.
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  • MalyJMalyJ member
    We went to Disney on a family vacation back in June when our LOs were 2 months. There was plenty he could go on too and it really wasn't that big of an ordeal. You are NOT selfish for going by yourself either. I just think pumping at Disney would be much more complicated than nursing. GO! Whether by yourself or with LO, go!


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  • AcaAwkwardAcaAwkward member
    I'd probably go -- I've left DS for nearly 4 full days (two for a bachelorette party and 2 for a wedding).  The pumping part sucks big hairy ones, but taking a break from your baby to do something you'd enjoy is worth it if you really want to go! 
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  • LaNorteLaNorte member
    I wouldn't go, but not because you shouldn't be leaving LO for a whole day or you're selfish or anything (I don't think any of those things are true!). I wouldn't go just because every time I do make plans for myself to be gone long periods of time, the pumping part totally ruins it for me. If I need to pump more than twice, it is such a gigantic pain in the ass that I just don't enjoy whatever it is that I'm doing. It is easier/better if you are willing to pump and dump so you don't have to worry about carrying/cooling the milk, but I have a hard time with that because I have always had low supply so I don't have a big freezer stash and I don't want to waste the milk. But this is just my opinion/experience... I think if you can figure out the milk thing, you should do it!
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  • SoulTerminationSoulTermination member
    Selfish, to me, would be a parent who pawns their kid off on family or friends to go out and party or whatever every night. Going to freaking DISNEYLAND, especially when you've rarely been out since having a baby? I've never been but really want to, so forgive me, but frickin' GO! With or without kiddo. And come tell me about it when you get back from it, 'cause I wanna live vicariously through you! :P
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  • J&NLJ&NL member
    Is your mom fully capable of taking care of her all day? I would totally go! It's not selfish at all. It's your birthday and moms need breaks/ fun time too.
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  • J&NLJ&NL member
    I went to Disney with DD when she was about this age and she did fine. You just can't get on rides unless someone will watch. Either way, it's your preference.
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  • *sparky**sparky* member
    Like the others wrote I would go and bring your LO, unless it is just you and your friend going. Because then you won't be able to ride any rides together since someone has to stay with the LO. If it is a group trip then definitely go and bring the baby. I would much rather do that than pump.

    If it is just the two of you that go, then I would pick another activity to do that day - either something where you can easily bring LO or something that is not a full day and then go to Disney when you are ready to leave LO longer.

     

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