Update: DC incident

Sep5Bride · August 2014

DD goes to a wonderful daycare 5 days a week. Her teachers in the infant room and now in Toddler 1 have been spectacular and I have nothing but great things to say about them.

Toddler 1 and Toddler 2 classrooms usually combine at the end of the day, and also do some activities together throughout the day. Recently I've noticed one of the T2 teachers really scolding the kids and just generally not being very warm. Yesterday at pick-up the kids were sitting at a table eating their snack, and I saw her grab a little boy by the arm and yank him back down into his chair because he was starting to stand up.

I reported this to the director right away and also told the little boy's mom. The director is talking to this teacher today, giving her a written warning, and requiring that she take some classes on handling stress on the job and other things that I can't specifically remember. She said this is the first she's gotten a complaint about this teacher, but she is taking it very seriously.

I'm glad they are taking it seriously, but I'm concerned about the time DD spends in a combined classroom with this teacher, and even more so that she's supposed to move up to this classroom in the next month or two. The director offered to keep her in T1 and move somebody else up in her place, but I hate the thought of her little buddies moving up and leaving her behind. They are very open to any suggestions I may have, but I'm at a loss. Right now I'm just hoping this teacher quits, since I'm assuming she doesn't love her job anyway based on how she was acting. That may be a long shot though.

What do you think - is there any other solution that I'm not thinking of? I'd love for this teacher to be let go, but if she's willing to take the classes they require then it does seem a little extreme to just fire her with the first complaint that comes up. You can believe DH and I will be watching her very closely though...

ReeceFamily · August 2014

Ugh. I was in Target the other day and heard a mom loudly/disrespectully scolding her child and forcing them very harshly down into the shopping cart seat (I could just see her over the shoe display)....and when I finally saw the child she was like 12 months old. If the mom treats her like that at Target, how does she treat her at home when no one is looking?

Anyway, I HATE seeing stuff like that. Sounds like you did exactly the right thing. I know our kids are small, but can you talk to your DD about it, in the hopes that she might understand that it is wrong for any adult to treat a child like that (or any human to treat a human like that)?

ambmama · August 2014

So I had an incident a month ago with a teacher. I was walking into the classroom and a new teacher was there and was literally screaming at Taylor, red-face and mad, because he was climbing. While his action was wrong, I was really upset that any caretaker would yell at my son this way! I was so angry I didn't say anything immediately, but the next day reported it to his head teacher. She assured me she would talk to her and that it would never happen again. Within about a week I noticed that she was no longer in his classroom. When I asked about it, I was told that she was moved to an older classroom where students could listen to instruction. I mean, I get it. This age is HARD. They don't listen to ANYONE. And I'm thankful my dcp made the right decision for this teacher who is now in a class she can support. I would definitely push because you never want your child somewhere that you don't feel comfortable. Good luck!

jobiann · August 2014

I admitted a few months ago I had at times yelled at DS, not so much in his face...just usually from across the room. I hated my actions and I have since corrected them and I handle things with total patience and understanding. I'm a stressed out Mom, but I do not work at a daycare facility either.

I would probably flip out if I saw someone else "manhandle" my child. MH and I don't do it, so I would expect others not to do it. If she is working at a daycare center you think she'd have unlimited patience...but I also understand it is a very tough age as they are still working on their listening skills.

I think how you handled it was very tactful, it sounds like the d/c is dealing with the situation. I guess I would go a head and move your D up with her friends and hope that the teacher is being watched carefully (by you and by her superiors). And I'd also find it comforting to know the director hasn't received previous complaints about the teacher, hopefully she was just having a really off day. Also, like in @ambmama case, the teacher was moved to an older room so her personality would work better with older kids. You might see that teacher be moved or leave the daycare altogether.

Today was J's first day at his new in-home d/c. It was very sad to leave Deb but I know he is going to love M too. She has had daycare kiddos for 15 years and is wonderful. Plus, J has a 4 month old baby to play with now (he was the youngest in his old d/c) and two new little lap dog friends to play with. I'm still a little anxious how he will adjust though...

When did they get so big...in a few years they'll be off to preschool!!!

Sep5Bride · August 2014

A quick update if anyone's interested. The teacher wrote us a very nice apologetic letter for her behavior, as well as to the parents of the child I saw her grab, and since then she has been very nice and sweet to the kids. She will be taking classes on handling stress on the job. The director is considering having a Toddler 1 teacher switch classrooms with her when the kids all move up in September, but this hasn't been decided for sure yet. They are meeting with the other child's parents next week to see how they feel about him having her as a teacher. I have to say, I'm definitely impressed they are taking it all so seriously.

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