Late Term and Child Loss

What should we ask the Dr at the f/u visit?

I made the dreaded postpartum appointment, and it's in about 90 minutes. I have spent my day on the couch, it's a bad day today, and I just wish we had our babies back instead of going to this effing appointment to follow up.

I don't know what to ask, or to get from him. A little help? My only real question is to know whether the pathology report is back on the placentas to know which bacteria it was that caused the chorio, and who I need to speak with to advocate for a transabdominal cerclage if I ever decide to be pregnant again (which is pretty far from my mind at the moment)...

Is there anything else I should ask? I am not planning to carry another pregnancy anytime soon, my partner has offered and is willing to do that part when we are able to try again.... And I am planning to refuse a pap if offered today.

Other things you asked or wish you did?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

image

Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

image

Re: What should we ask the Dr at the f/u visit?

  • Following for suggestions. So sorry for your losses @Manada‌
    BFP #1 12/19/13 We lost our Fenix 7/31/14 at 36 weeks due to torn umbilical cord
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    My Chart TTA until Feb 2015
    ~*ALL AL WELCOME*~
    image
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  • What to expect as you heal physically.
    FYI- I didn't have any kind of internal exam. He checked my c-section incision and felt my uterus to be sure it was shrinking appropriately.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

  • I havent gone to mine yet, but I hope to have the pathology results on the umbilical cord and placenta back (my Fenix was lost at 36 weeks when there was a tear in the cord near his belly button side. The cord seemed healthy though, so we dont know why this happened). 

    I plan to ask questions about a safe time period to wait to TTC, exercise and general activity recommendations as i heal, and probably will have to ask for a mild antidepressant or sleep aid.
    BFP #1 12/19/13 We lost our Fenix 7/31/14 at 36 weeks due to torn umbilical cord
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    My Chart TTA until Feb 2015
    ~*ALL AL WELCOME*~
    image
  • We talked about how I was doing emotionally and physically, the timeline for TTC again, and how the next pregnancy would be treated. My doctors were great. I had one appointment just to talk about how I and DH were doing. It was nice to know that they were concerned about me.
    Abigail Grace 9/7/10
    Nathaniel Willis born sleeping 2/6/14
    Felicity Hope 4/6/15

  • I didn't have an exam with mine either.  We just discussed test results, how I was feeling physically and emotionally, when we could try again, and what additional steps would be taken with the next pregnancy.  I had a whole list of questions compiled related to the different answers she might tell me from the test results but I have since come up with other questions related to the test results I want to ask her the next time I talk to her.
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

  • I hope everything goes as well as it can today at your appointment. My f/u appointment with my MFM was mostly to touch base about how I was healing (physically and emotionally) and to answer any questions I had. No Pap. They agreed that my loss was due to an incompetent cervix and discussed a preventative transvaginal cerclage for next time. I pushed them for the TAC (transabdominal cerclage), but their answer was basically that since I "only" lost one pregnancy and it was twins, a preventative TVC "should" work next time along with P17 shots.
    <br><br>
    We need IVF to get pregnant and while limiting the amount of embryos transferred is an option, there are no guarantees. (first pregnancy was ID twins that m/c) I let them know I would be getting a TAC and bid them adios. (I really loved the MFM who delivered me, but she works exclusively out of the hospital and I would not be able to see her regularly next time around.)
    <br><br>
    If you have any questions about the TAC, feel free to ask or PM me.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • @Maybe Joleisa‌ I got the same response about my TAC question as well. The MFM basically attributed our loss to having twins and an incompetent cervix, which is hard to hear, especially since our previous understanding of what happened centres much more around the chorio infection and the signs of debris that were there at 17weeks when I was put on bedrest..... I don't know what to think now.

    Honestly, for those following -- that appointment wasn't super helpful. The doc was nice, and held my hand while I cried, but really, I am expecting the next visit with our RE (infertility specialist) to be more fruitful for us in terms of moving forward and ensuring we make informed choices based on this pregnancy and what happened.

    But there was no physical exam, and no mention of follow up for that.... And we are basically released. I don't know if I would call it a super important visit though, I didn't really learn anything new there.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • Glad you made it through the appointment and I'm sorry you did not get any clear answers. I guess you could have your records looked over by another MFM? The infection vs IC is very much like the chicken and egg theory in some cases.

    I scheduled my RE visit for the day after our MFM follow-up and it made me feel so much better about moving forward. I felt a lot more supported by my RE, but that might be because I have been with her for 3 years vs just several months with the MFM. My RE will be giving me a referral to my next MFM (obviously not necessary yet)--but it is the one that the docs and nurses at my fertility center use. 

    Hope your day is better post-appointment.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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