Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
BumpJackie
member
Re: Tata Tuesday chat - 8/12 with Shari Criso (LCshari)
Here's my question: I have a very painful letdown (LO is 5 weeks old so this is still new to me) is this normal?
My DD self weaned just before her 2nd birthday in June. I'm expecting #2 in December and plan to BF again. Is it common for older siblings to want to BF again when new baby is added to the family? If she does, it is best to always feed baby first? Any concern about over supply if DD is doing it more for comfort?
Hi @chambressa… one reason that your baby may be preferring one side over the other is that one side may be making more milk or have a faster let-down. This could cause the baby to become “frustrated” with the other side…they can be very impatient J There is not much you can do about it and it is VERY normal for your breasts to have a more dominate side. What I would do is start on the side that she gets fussy on as she may be more accepting when she is hungrier. Just know that many moms wind up exclusively feeding on one breast for this reason and make plenty of milk for their babies…I was one of them J
My 15 month old son was weaned besides nursing a couple times during the night. He was sick a few weeks ago and only wanted to nurse. Now he refuses to take a bottle. My question is will he eventually just grow out of nursing? The last time he weaned didn't feel natural to me or LO, a lot of tears were involved and I'd like weaning to be tear free this go around. Any tips are appreciated. Thanks in advance! -Kelly O.
@twolittledogs The best thing you can do as a new mom who is breastfeeding is to educate yourself and understand what is normal. Unfortunately, most issues that I see are perceived issues rather than real physical problems, especially with milk supply. Many times it is the perceived low supply that causes moms to supplement that then leads to a REAL low supply. Remember that we are mammals, we are meant to do this, we have been doing this since the beginning of time, people in other countries do not have the same struggle with this that we do!!! Learn how to tell your baby got enough and how much (or how little) they actually really need. Watch my Simply Breastfeeding Online Breastfeeding Class for this full education www.MyBabyExperts.com and here is a short video that you can watch about “How you can tell your baby got enough”
@loosgroovmom Congratulations! What you are describing is Raynauds which is a vasoconstriction of the blood vessels in the nipple after or during the feeding. The white color and the pain are classic signs of this. What you can do is have very warm compresses ready to apply directly to your nipples at the end of the feeding. This should help a lot. Look it up online and read more about it. It is something that can definitely resolve with time, but not typically caused by a poor latch. Latch issues will usually result in a different kind of pain and eventual breakdown of the skin that you are not describing. Hope it gets better J
@alltheteainchina Congrats on baby #2! It is very common for an older sibling to want to go back to Breastfeeding when they see the baby doing it, however the longer it has been since you weaned, the less likely that this will happen. What I would not do is make a big deal out of it. If she wants it, let her try it. Most likely she won’t even like the taste, as it is quite different than the breast milk that she has been drinking J Always feed your newborn first. I would not be concerned about oversupply issues and take once step at a time. Good luck!
I have 9 (almost 10 month) old twins. One is breastfed and I pump for the other. My son, the breastfed one, has had issues with preferring the bottle, but we're in a pretty good place with feeds now, i.e. no screaming during feeds anymore. He seems happy when he's finished, but no matter how recently he's eaten, he goes crazy when he sees his sister's bottle. He breastfeeds (or gets a 5 oz bottle) about 5 times a day and usually sleeps through the night. He eats 3 solid meals, too.
I don't know if his reaction to his sister's bottle is because he's actually still hungry. He has struggled with weight gain but has been doing a little better since starting solids. I'm worried that I'm relying too much on solids. Should I give him a bottle when he gets excited about his sister's bottle, too? He's fed on demand but it's generally every 3 hours during the day (up to 4 if he's napping). Should I try more frequent feeds?
Thanks.
@sjc8187 Congratulations!!! You definitely want to get a pump that is going to be easy to use, easy to clean, fast and efficient. I helped design the NEW Evenflo Feeding Advanced Double Electric and it is an amazing pump! Actually won best pump of the year here on The Bump this year! SO MANY great features like multiple flange sizes included, 32 settings, individual speed and suction control, and a CLOSED SYSTEM so that you do not get any milk backing up in the tubes, which can lead to mold growth. The pump also comes with both of my Full Length Breastfeeding Classes for free. Here is a link that will show you all the features that I mentioned and everything that you should be considering when looking at which pump to choose. All the best to you!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r_dmB4HHZ4
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@bdblZ Congratulations! What I would recommend is that you do not try to store any milk for the first 6 weeks, as you are establishing your supply, and this will interfere possibly creating an oversupply or not having enough for the actual feeding. Either is not good. What I would recommend is that you pump a very small amount once a day starting early on (like a ½ ounce) and start introducing your baby to the bottle while finishing the feeding at the breast. They may cover this in your breastfeeding class but all classes are different. I have a whole chapter that will describe this process to you in my online class that you can watch here https://www.mybabyexperts.com/#!classes/cwzb or it is included with every Evenflo Feeding Breast Pump (even the manual one!). Every expert has a different opinion and ultimately it will be up to you to make the decision about what feels right for you and your baby. Good luck to you!
@kim0710 Congratulations…how exciting for you! I just replied about introducing the bottle early in order to get your baby used to it. When you wait too long, you do run the risk that the baby may reject the bottle. Introduce some pumped milk at around 1-2 weeks old, but do not storing or pumping extra until your baby is 6 weeks. All my best!! J
@kellyLO85 It is perfectly normal for your LO to want to go back to the breast especially when he is sick. If you are okay with continuing to breastfeed (which is sounds like you are) than it is actually the best thing that you could do and I would say that this was a blessing! Your baby continues to receive the benefits of breast milk for as long as they continue. Twelve months is the “minimum” recommendation but 2 years is ideal and normal in most places in the world. The World Health Organization actually recommends continuing for 2 years. The best way to wean tear free is to wait until your LO is ready J
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