Baby Showers

micmash · June 2014

Alright ladies let's talk baby showers.

So I had a shower thrown by a friend a few weeks back. I have only lived here 4 years so I don't know a lot of people. I invited 16 people to my shower and only 6 people showed up. I was a little disappointed but it turned out to be a nice afternoon. Fast forward to this weekend and my mother in law is throwing me one 3 hours from here in Seattle. I invited 34 people. There will only be 11 of us, that includes me and my MIL. Should I be feeling disappointed? This was supposed to be my big shower with a big mix of friends and family. Everyone has an excuse like "im getting a piano delivered" to "I don't like baby showers." My self esteem has sort of taken a big hit here. I have all these friends who have these awesome showers with all these people. And it feels like no one can make time for mine. Clearly I am hormonal and maybe that's part of it but it just feels crappy. I am feeling really anxious about it and am not evening wanting to go. Anyone else with similar experiences or thoughts?

lcwed · June 2014

No, I would be kinda disappointed too, especially if this was my first. I remember I had 2 because I worked in one city but lived in another with DH. I had only been in the city I lived in with a short time, so my shower there was pretty small, mainly because I didn't know many people and the ones I did where people I had met through DH. The other one was larger because it was people I knew longer, but there were still several people who could not make it. Several did send cards later or send gifts with other people who were going. With more than half the guests not showing up though, that would be pretty disheartening to me.

Hopefully you can enjoy the time you get to spend with the people who did come. Also, silver lining, not as many people to chat up and make small talk with. Another silver lining for guests, more likely to win at something because there is less competition.

OutdoorGirl10 · June 2014

I would be disappointed too and it would be hard not to compare to your friends showers. Maybe just keep in mind that your situation is probably different than theirs. Smaller can be better because as PP said you get more time to actually talk to the people that came vs small talk and having to repeat the same answer to the same question over and over.

2redtulips · June 2014

I am overwhelmed by big groups, so a small shower sounds nice, but I can definitely see how you're a little hurt.

If there are some childless ladies who have said no, keep in mind that baby showers can be really painful for people who have experienced loss or infertility. In those cases, definitely don't take it personally, and I am sure they are wishing you well from afar.

You and baby deserve to be celebrated, though, and I hope you end up enjoying both showers!

Bigboneded · June 2014

I would have my feelings hurt, but I would note that the friends who do come are likely to be the ones who are there for you.... I wasnt even too sure about having a shower at my age, but hopefully it will happen. My family and friends are mostly in other cities, too :-) Good luck :-)

path75 · June 2014

I will probably have a very small shower. There are very few people I keep in contact with anymore. I would be a bit disappointed but nothing surprises me at my age.

kimb311 · June 2014

Awwww, this makes me sad

I totally get why you would feel disappointed. I'm disappointed for you.
But I think small showers are good. I don't know about your family and friends, but I can't trust mine to not turn any large get together it into some WWF type drama.

someone is always at war with someone else!

A nice small gathering of good friends is way more special than a larger group of people, IMO.

micmash · July 2014

Thanks ladies. My showers were nice. Not what I expected but once I got over the disappointment of all the people who didn't show up and just enjoyed those who did I had a good time. I think maybe being our first my expectations were a little higher than they should have been. Thanks for the encouragement

alexesq33 · August 2014

DON'T be disappointed hunni!! I think I invited about 30 ppl to my first shower and about 15 showed up. (and that includes ppl like my best friend's husband's mother LOL). It was way better than 30 because I could actually talk to ppl.

some ppl don't like showers because, well, maybe they don't like games, or they like to have booze or they just would rather send you a gift or they just feel they don't know you that well.

IT'S DEF not you!!!

CONGRATULATIONS and don't worry, we're all preggo and more or less hormonal (it's definitional!) so here's the place to be!

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