XP: PR: Question for 2+ Moms (tl;dr sorry)

SpaceGirlSpiff · August 2014

Re-posting this because at first I put it on the wrong board....

I might be able to already guess this and I'm dreading the answer a bit but.... my anxious mind needs to know the experience of others.

When you have two or more kids, is it pretty much a guarantee that if one gets sick the other one will too at the same time? Like I should just expect that will probably always happen? Has that been the experience of others here? Or is it hit or miss?

I'm a little embarrassed to admit, that one of my really big anxiety triggers is when my kid comes down with a stomach bug. Colds, other viruses I can handle confidently...but stomach bugs and/or vomiting will actually send me into panic mode. I think the anxiety peaked because it wasn't too long back that my kid got hit with it literally 3 times in a row (separated by a couple weeks each time - lasting for several days each time), and it was just really effing stressful, especially since the 3rd time I was fresh in first tri with this pregnancy and had a really hard time handling the puke. Now every time he says something like "I'm sick" (most the time to get attention because he's usually fine), my stomach will instantly go sour and I'll start freaking out inside...(I do have panic disorder so..my symptoms become physical)

I know... I feel a little silly whining about this, but ... this next baby is due in January, right in the middle of sick season and my DS goes to day care. I feel like he is always catching every little thing. I am paranoid that my baby will be getting sick just as often as he is, especially during that season... And I am mostly afraid of the dreaded stomach bug.

What makes it worse is I have to work from home when my kid is sick... and when I have my newborn I'll be working from home anyway at first, so... then I'll be home with TWO sick kids at once while also trying to keep my eye on emergencies at work?

What did I do to myself....

theseaword · August 2014

So far, yes, my kiddies have basically shared all illnesses. Sorry!

aglenn · August 2014

With my kids it has been hit or miss, and hard to predict who will get what when. They are constantly touching each other and sharing food and drinks and this does not stop when one or the other is sick, despite my best efforts. So, I am pretty sure that they each get exposed to each other's germs about 100% of the time, but they both get sick maybe 50% of the time. It feels like a lot, especially in the winter when it seems like somebody in our house is sick ALL the time, but in reality there are plenty of times when one kid will get something that the other one doesn't. So far we haven't had both puking at once (knock on wood) but they have done that back-to-back for one round of illness (one got sick, then the other got sick when the first got better).

nanabanana06 · August 2014

It's hit or miss with us. They've both had things like colds, HFM, ect at different times. They did have the stomach bug at the time though, in varying degrees. Cade only puked once or twice at night. Rosie was pukasaurus for a few days. Those types of bugs happen though. 1 gets sick and then everyone gets sick. That 1 time literally everyone got sick in the house. It was a domino effect. It happens.

tattooedtragedy · August 2014

I worry about this too but so far this has not been the case for us. DD1 doesn't often get sick and she is in school/daycare so I know she is being exposed to germs. DD2 (8 months) hasn't had anything more that an runny nose since starting daycare 3 months ago.

MissyC979 · August 2014

Sometimes they both get sick, sometimes only one will get sick. It really just depends. If the baby gets sick, I seem to have better luck keeping the older one healthy. When the older one gets sick, then germs are everywhere...

ETA: The worst is when they also get me sick. Because then I'm sick taking care of sick kids instead of cuddling in my bed. That's the WORST.

bensmommy518 · August 2014

I had DD in January and granted she is only about 7 months old but so far it does not necessarily follow that when one is sick the other is too. Just be compulsive about hand washing and isolating them once they show signs of sickness.

Because of my unique daycare situation (they go to daycare where I work and if I am not at work they cannot be there) DS stayed home all of my maternity leave so I did not have to worry about the height of flu season when DD was a newborn. Hang in there - you will be fine.

SpaceGirlSpiff · August 2014

Thanks so much ladies... I appreciate the honest inputs!

I know no matter what it will have to be dealt with as it comes and I can only keep my fingers crossed...it just plagues my mind though... when my anxiety runs away with itself it's hard to rein back in. I feel silly obsessing over it before she's even BORN yet... but after that recent nightmare of the back to back stomach bugs, it's been on my mind lately.

dashofreality · August 2014

We seem to be odd - daycare kids that rarely get sick. My older DD Has not been sick in the 2 years DS has been alive. DS has had a few colds and croup. So it depends.

SpaceGirlSpiff · August 2014

Another thing I've thought about too...this year has been a bad year because this is the first year DS started at his bigger daycare/preschool.... before this, he was just at an in-home that only had a few other kids so he wasn't as widely exposed...so I think he's still going through that adjustment phase. He has pretty much had everything under the sun since starting there, and seems like it's happening all the time.

My hope is that by next year, his immunity will be much stronger and maybe he wont bring home as many ailments compared to this year....

ASmallWonder · August 2014

We've had a lot of illnesses but the bad ones haven't seemed to make the rounds. One had HFM and DH got it but no one else. DH and I got a stomach bug and one kid pukes once and the other didn't get it all. It's kind of weird.

ggatlanta · August 2014

I can offer hope! My nursing 5mo has not caught one of his 17mo sister's numerous colds or fevers. Not one fever - which is two less than she'd had at his age. I credit the nursing which I couldn't do with her. Also I take all sorts of BFing-safe immune support now.

I was very worried about the sickness thing too - we were sick ALL WINTER, as in my very tough husband had to take off 13 work days in the first 6 weeks of the year alone. Turns out I was worried for nothing, it's been fine.

I think once they're older, sharing food and drink and toys, it'll happen more that we'll all be sick at once. For lifestyle comparison, they do both go to the nursery at the Y and at church but not any full time daycare. I think that's where we pick up 75% off all the bugs we get, and the others their daddy brings home from work.

klondikebar · August 2014

We don't get sick often and I don't recall all three kids getting the same illness either.

If it helps with your anxiety, keep stocked up on sickness essentials and put them in a separate plastic tub which can double a puke bucket. Carpet cleaner, baking soda (for carpet), paper towels, basic meds, crackers, popsicles, broth, clear gatorade, clorox wipes etc.

littlestjerry · August 2014

Oh man, @SpaceGirlSpiff, this is one of my biggest anxiety-inducers as well, I'm so glad you posted this. I'm not even pregnant, and I worry about having 2 pukers at the same time. Not to mention if DH or I get it too.

I would love to get a hold on this anxiety because it is SO unproductive, but I've had no luck thus far. DH used to struggle with anxiety (about something different) and he pretty much overcame it with talk therapy and literally blocking the anxious thoughts out. He said the more you practice not worrying the easier it gets, but it was a long struggle for him. I would love to just not be an anxious person.

SpaceGirlSpiff · August 2014

jumpingbeanx2 said:

Just wondering, have you talked to a doctor about this? I saw you said you have panic disorder, have you been given any exercises or medications to help with this?

I was diagnosed as a teenager with my anxiety/panic disorder and depression at the time too, and I was medicated for it... however, I haven't really seen a doctor in the mental health field since that time.... I have over time learned many coping strategies, and usually I will keep small doses of Ativan at my disposal for really bad instances or if I know I'm facing a trigger that will cause an all-out attack ... but I really try to refrain from medicating as I don't want to be dependent.

Usually I am OK ... I've had many years to learn how to manage it, but there are a few triggers that still get to me and lately this has become one of them. Usually what happens is I will get nauseated and my IBS will act up, along with the general jittery-ness .... when things are most stressful or get out of control I can have full out panic attacks, but it has actually been quite a while since I've had one of those as I can usually do my breathing or take a small dose of meds (when I'm not pregnant of course) to stave them off.

SpaceGirlSpiff · August 2014

littlestjerry said:

Oh man, @SpaceGirlSpiff, this is one of my biggest anxiety-inducers as well, I'm so glad you posted this. I'm not even pregnant, and I worry about having 2 pukers at the same time. Not to mention if DH or I get it too.

I would love to get a hold on this anxiety because it is SO unproductive, but I've had no luck thus far. DH used to struggle with anxiety (about something different) and he pretty much overcame it with talk therapy and literally blocking the anxious thoughts out. He said the more you practice not worrying the easier it gets, but it was a long struggle for him. I would love to just not be an anxious person.

While I'm sorry you also have these same fears (it sucks to be scared of your own kid getting sick!), I am glad I am at least not alone

My logical side is like ... Come on, buck up, it'll be over soon, he's fine, you'll be fine....la la la

But that logical side is just NOT strong enough to calm the nerves! It doesn't help that I've ALWAYS had a fear of puke (myself, anyone else).... I was lucky that it happened rarely to me growing up, in fact I had had a 10 year puke-free streak before my DS got me sick late last year with his first stomach bug... sucked so much.

But you know, at first I was actually OK when my DS would vomit...and I surprised myself because I usually can't be around it, but for him I could.... it was only ever since this last bout of getting hit with it 3 times on top of one another that it drove my stress so high and now it triggers my anxiety...it's like, since it kept coming back now it's in my mind that a damn stomach bug is lurking behind every corner now so I'm constantly paranoid..... it's really frustrating!

SpaceGirlSpiff · August 2014

Thank you again for all the input ... it helps a lot!

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XP: PR: Question for 2+ Moms (tl;dr sorry)

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