I need a bolster from others on Team Green

UberBiz · August 2014

Ugh, a/s is next Wednesday and I feel myself swaying on remaining Team Green! Coincidentally we are getting the scan on FI's birthday (just so happened that's when it was scheduled), and he really wants to find out, but I keep saying "NO, we are not finding out" and reiterating to him how I want it to be a surprise until the very end, but I have a feeling he will try to use his birthday to push the matter.

At the beginning I was getting a lot of boy vibes, but the past few weeks I'm totally feeling girl. It's so weird. I need to stick to this not knowing thing, but it's so hard! The information is so readily available, it's so hard not to find out! But I also know I'll be mad at myself cuz I've made such a big deal to everyone about not wanting to know, lol.

Anyone else vacillating? Think green, think green, think green....

Christina_Diane · August 2014

Why can't he find out if he wants to? It just doesn't seem fair that you don't want him to have it his way and that you expect him to agree with you. Can he find out and keep it from you?

cassied7 · August 2014

We were team green with my first and now we are again with this babe. I told my husband last night that reading everyone's posts on here about them finding out is kind of making me want to know! He is very much against finding out. I just need to keep reminding myself how incredible it was hearing my husband say to me in the delivery room, "it's a boy!". So I've never found out via ultrasound, but I'm sure hearing it from my excited husband would always top our blah ultrasound tech lol.

UberBiz · August 2014

Christina_Diane said:

Why can't he find out if he wants to? It just doesn't seem fair that you don't want him to have it his way and that you expect him to agree with you. Can he find out and keep it from you?

No, cuz if he finds out, he will tell everyone and I'll find out anyway. It's not a matter of me not letting him have his way. He generally always gets his way. We found out with our son, even though I didn't want to, because he just HAD to know if he was getting his boy (thankfully he did), I also didn't want to find out with my daughter, and HER father just HAD to know if it was a boy or not, so I gave in. I just feel like it's only fair that I get MY way this time, especially cuz it's our last.

UberBiz · August 2014

cassied7 said:

We were team green with my first and now we are again with this babe. I told my husband last night that reading everyone's posts on here about them finding out is kind of making me want to know! He is very much against finding out. I just need to keep reminding myself how incredible it was hearing my husband say to me in the delivery room, "it's a boy!". So I've never found out via ultrasound, but I'm sure hearing it from my excited husband would always top our blah ultrasound tech lol.

That's what I think! It would be amazing for him to be able to be the first to announce that news!

cassied7 · August 2014

@UberBiz‌ I totally agree with you that you should get your way on this since you said you've never been able to do it before.

UberBiz · August 2014

calindi said:

It's gotta be hard when one person wants to know and the other doesn't. I know if DH didn't want to know, I'd be devastated because I can't keep a secret so I wouldn't be able to find out - or he'd have to find out against his will. There isn't really a compromise I can see there, except maybe team green for one kid and not for the next, or vice versa What's your reasons besides telling everyone already? If you really do want to know, can you both find out and not tell anyone that you know? Have it be a little secret with just you two?

He got to find out with our son, and this is our last child. I've always wanted to be team green, to savor the surprise until the very end, and this is my last chance, kwim?.. I know he woudn't be able to keep it a secret, especially since his mom and grandma want to know so bad, and he is grandma's favorite, he can't disappoint her, so if she knew he knew, she'd get it out of him. I'm also terrible at secrets, so if I knew, I wouldn't be able to hold it in for long, lol. Better if we both don't know.

Christina_Diane · August 2014

UberBiz said:

Christina_Diane said:

Why can't he find out if he wants to? It just doesn't seem fair that you don't want him to have it his way and that you expect him to agree with you.

Can he find out and keep it from you?

No, cuz if he finds out, he will tell everyone and I'll find out anyway. It's not a matter of me not letting him have his way. He generally always gets his way. We found out with our son, even though I didn't want to, because he just HAD to know if he was getting his boy (thankfully he did), I also didn't want to find out with my daughter, and HER father just HAD to know if it was a boy or not, so I gave in. I just feel like it's only fair that I get MY way this time, especially cuz it's our last.

Well that changes things. He got his way once. Now it's your turn. Good luck

MusicFanatic · August 2014

Well you already know our situation

Definitely not finding out, to maybe finding out, to wanting to, and back to definitely not.

It actually wasn't hard to refrain at the a/s. It was more hard BEFORE it, knowing I could. When I was actually getting it done it was easy to say "no please!" (weird, right?).. the rush of anticipation flooded back to me. I'm so happy we didn't find out, it's getting me super excited for January-ish so H can announce it to everyone and we can FINALLY know.

I'm hoping this gets me through labor easier

Because I'll be dyingggggggggg to know.

UberBiz · August 2014

Thanks ladies

I didn't want to feel crazy for pushing the issue, and I know he would get a real kick out of being the one to announce it at the end, I just hope for the a/s I can hold my ground and go in and say "Not finding out!" I think she asked last time before she started if we wanted to know or not.

motherboy · August 2014

Just think about the anticipation! It was so much fun to not know the whole time last time. My husband loved being the one to announce it. I think it made everyone besides us more excited when he was born, too, because they were dying to know too!

literarymuse · August 2014

My reasons for being team green have a lot less to do with that moment of finding out once the baby comes and a lot more to do with preventing gender stereotypes as long as possible. But after reading all y'all's posts, I'm more excited about that moment at the end where we'll finally know!!

Stay strong, @UberBiz! You can do it! Your FI can suck it up this once!

Eyefrog · August 2014

When I did "green team" the first time I made sure to book at a place that for sure wouldn't reveal anything as its their policy just in case I wavered. It worked wonderfully and now when I go in i say immediately incase you see anything we do not want to know and so far we have been surprised each time. Good luck!

TheAnnaG · August 2014

So can I ask a logistical question? At the a/s do they just not print out any images with the "business" in them? Do they still check for the parts and turn the screen off? The FTM Team Green would love some insider information!

I had a friend tell me a valuable piece of advice. She told me to politely ask them to not put the sex of baby in the chart, as she accidentally found out the sex when at the next appointment the Dr. walked in and asked, "How's he cooking in there?"

TXUltraRunner · August 2014

We were team green but our anatomy scan was yesterday and when they measured the leg bones it was very obvious what we are having. So when they said "do you want to know" I said well we didn't but I already saw it's a girl. I'm ok with knowing but I have to try hard not to pigeon hole my child into a gender category in my head before she's born.

jess05445 · August 2014

I wanted to stay team green but my husband really wanted to know and his birthday is this week and have decided will surprise him for his birthday but going to keep just between us. He felt like couldn't know without me knowing because he would slip and decided since happened to all fall around his birthday would be great gift for him.

At my appointment only printed profile pics and had me look away while checked lower half. She didn't put in chart and i had her do envelope and she put ultrasound pic that said gender if decided to let husband know.

TXUltraRunner · August 2014

@jess05445‌ we are keeping it to ourselves too. After my appt everyone called to see if we found out, we told everyone we did not.

jess05445 · August 2014

@TXUltraRunner‌ i haven't looked at envelope yet so told everyone didn't find out and no one knows planning on surprising him so hopefully neither of us slip after the weekend!

UberBiz · August 2014

TheAnnaG said:

So can I ask a logistical question? At the a/s do they just not print out any images with the "business" in them? Do they still check for the parts and turn the screen off? The FTM Team Green would love some insider information!

I had a friend tell me a valuable piece of advice. She told me to politely ask them to not put the sex of baby in the chart, as she accidentally found out the sex when at the next appointment the Dr. walked in and asked, "How's he cooking in there?"

I don't think checking the sex of the baby is part of the routine a/s, I mean, I'm sure there's always that risk of finding out anyway if they scan over that area - at the hospital where we will have the a/s, they have a huge screen on the wall where we can watch the whole thing, and I'm sure they will try to avoid that area as much as possible, or at least turn off the screen that we can see if they do go there.... I know last time they did ask if we wanted to find out or not. FI seems to think that he will be able to tell from watching even if they don't try to find out. We'll see!

cassied7 · August 2014

Last time the tech told us to turn our heads when she thought we might see something. It turned out that his legs were crossed anyways, so there was literally no one who knew the sex until the delivery.

russnlori · August 2014

It is so so hard. But oh so rewarding. Since I have csections we both get to find out together during a very scary time. It's like an incredible high the moment you find out after waiting 9 long months. I can't even begin to describe the emotions. So worth it in my opinion. And then getting to call everyone and hearing their surprise. It's awesome!

mom2case · August 2014

I was team green the first time because DH wanted to be and I wasn't desperate to find out. If your fiance really wants to know and you're going back and forth, I would just find out. IMO, it's a surprise either way. We didn't find out with DD until she was born and decided to find out at 17w with DS. I was equally "surprised" both times.

stayhealthy · August 2014

We were team green with #1 and #2 and will be with this one (#3) as well. It's always fun to hear my husband announce what it is. Our first he was probably a little drained from labor that when she came out he said "it's a...a..." and I said "WHAT IS IT!!!" and the doctor pointed down so he would look at the genitals. "it's a girl!". He was looking at her face and couldn't tell! we LOVE telling that story and would not have been able to if we found out at the a/s. So much fun!!! Plus we were able to use all the neutral clothes for our second which was a boy in the first few days (he was huge compared to our tiny girl). Keep it a surprise

UberBiz · August 2014

calindi said:

I feel it would be easier to be Team Green for a second child, even if you want stereotypically girl or boy clothes - you already have the key items and plenty of clothes! If the baby ends up being the same sex as the big sibling, cool. If not, no reason you can't keep them in onesies and clothes from their big sibling until you get some girl or boy style clothing!

Unfortunately we have to get all new clothes regardless if it comes out a boy or a girl, this one was totally unplanned and I had already given away all of the NB-6/9M clothes from my son (most were given to us so I paid it forward)

rdray30 · August 2014

UberBiz said:

Christina_Diane said:

Why can't he find out if he wants to? It just doesn't seem fair that you don't want him to have it his way and that you expect him to agree with you. Can he find out and keep it from you?

No, cuz if he finds out, he will tell everyone and I'll find out anyway. It's not a matter of me not letting him have his way. He generally always gets his way. We found out with our son, even though I didn't want to, because he just HAD to know if he was getting his boy (thankfully he did), I also didn't want to find out with my daughter, and HER father just HAD to know if it was a boy or not, so I gave in. I just feel like it's only fair that I get MY way this time, especially cuz it's our last.

I think you just gave yourself your reason to stay Team Green, right there! I'm a FTM, so I have no point of comparison, but even with friends' and relatives' babies, it just seems so much more exciting when they wait until the birth. At least to me. I've had to fight the jealousy seeing everyone else's posts, too. I've always known I wanted to be Team Green. Ultimately, though, there's no "wrong" decision. :-)

aerotigergirl · August 2014

First of all, I totally admire the patience you guys are all showing by staying Team Green. I toyed with the idea, but I was totally fooling myself. I just cannot handle the curiosity. So, kudos to you all for staying strong, especially as the sex announcements fill up the board.

ALSO, I just love the idea of one of your DH's shouting out "It's a PENIS!" or "It's a VAGINA!" in the delivery room.

Shortstack06 · August 2014

I had my a/s on August 5th and we kept team green. We had both agreed going into it though that we would be on team green, so that made it easier for not finding out. I was actually in so much aww over the baby throwing its hands up, kicking, and just moving in general that I could careless that we didn't find out the sex. Good Luck and stick to your guns! I am looking forward to that moment when he gets to say "It's a boy/girl" and gets to go tell our families along with the name.

TheAnnaG Our ultrasound tech actually didn't even put in the report the sex, because I said we didn't want to know so the doctor doesn't know either. He came in and said, "So we are having a......." and left it for me to fill in. I said baby, we didn't want to know.

KnitPixy · August 2014

Team Green here as well. We decided a long time ago that we didn't want to know ahead of time (basically as soon as our friends started having babies). I want to avoid gender sterotyping to young and both DH and I would rather focus on making sure I maintain my health through the pregnancy (type 1 diabetes and hypothyroidism) and worrying about what sex baby is would just distract us. That and I like the challenge of decorating in a gender neutral way because it has forced us to think outside the box.

I say stick to your guns girl! You have my backing the whole way!

I have had a few moments of doubt about not finding out but the overall reactions that I get from folks when they ask if we are finding out has pretty much cemented our choice for both me and DH. I am actually stunned at the amount of positive feedback we've gotten on the subject given how popular it is to reveal baby's sex early.

rdray30 · August 2014

I had the Materniti21 test at about 12.5 weeks. I thought it would be hard to say "no, we don't want to know the sex" at that time. It really wasn't that hard. Now, my chart says "gender: surprise." (I know that is the incorrect term, but it is actually what's on my chart. I'm debating whether to correct them.) My dr. said that he won't even know and no one except the tech who does the a/s will know. I kind of love that my baby's sex is officially listed as "surprise."

MusicFanatic · August 2014

TheAnnaG said:

So can I ask a logistical question? At the a/s do they just not print out any images with the "business" in them? Do they still check for the parts and turn the screen off? The FTM Team Green would love some insider information!

I had a friend tell me a valuable piece of advice. She told me to politely ask them to not put the sex of baby in the chart, as she accidentally found out the sex when at the next appointment the Dr. walked in and asked, "How's he cooking in there?"

when our tech was looking around the area, she asked us to please look away

She asked if we were finding out the sex before she even started.. we said no. So when she had to measure or look at things near the area where the parts would be, she told us to turn. No biggie! She was super good with it... because if she had flaunted and said "are you suuuuure? I see what it is!!!" H may have caved. But she never ever mentioned it. Just said "look away now, please" so we assumed she could see and didn't want us to. Then she moved on and we looked at the screen again.

Also as far as planning- I'm not keen on a bunch of blue and pink, anyway. I will actually appreciate all the white, yellow and green we will get at the shower/for gifts.

Eyefrog · August 2014

I've had many anatomy scans and at least at all the local u/s places I don't see anything until the appointment is near the end. The tech gets all their pictures/measurements and then turns the screen for me to see what I am able to see, normally I see a head, maybe some feet the heartbeating and sometimes if baby is in a good safe position the spine. I think its easier that way not to accidentally see something

butchmum · August 2014

We waited with our first and it felt so magical when we finally found out. If you want to wait, wait. Once you know, you can't take that back!

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