August 2014 Moms

Am I being crazy?

Please let me know if I'm being too bitchy, but my sister and her new boyfriend are coming to visit 3 days after my due date.  She does not believe that it's necessary for them to get Pertussis boosters because they got the TDap when they were little.  In the past she has called me controlling and there may be some truth to that, but I"m working on it.  We have a rocky relationship and I"m trying not to make this a big issue, but am I being crazy with asking people who are going to be staying in my house with a newborn to get this? Am I being a controlling FTM about this? Any advice or thoughts I would appreciate it.  Thanks

Re: Am I being crazy?

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  • While in the hospital i was told they just came out with the tdap vaccine recently when pertussis in newborns became pretty big. That being said she also told me once you have the tdap you don't need to get it again though some doctors recommend getting it every 5 years...idk it was a little confusing
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • I had a lenghty conversation with my OB about this vaccine, because my family was having a hard time getting their General Practicioners to perscribe the TDap without a cut or scrap (being that Tetinus is part of the vaccine), the GP's didn't see a newborn being in the family as reason enough to perscribe the vaccine (needless to say I was extreemly frustrated and worried).  My OB said for our area (I live in PA) there has not been a significant outbreak of whooping cough so she is really only concerned with  primary caregivers getting the vaccine, so my mom my husband and I are the only ones vaccinated with TDap and I am comfortable with this.

    That being said how old is your sister, because while the TDap booster has been around since the 1940's, the standard practice of providing the enire booster series has only been going on since 2005.  Unless your parents had specifically asked to provide the whole series of shots I doubt your sister had all the shots to make her immune to Pertussis.  IF your sister did by chance receive the booster when she was little this does not mean that she cannot get the vaccine again to guarentee protection to your LO.

    All-in-all I say your baby your rules!  Just because I feel one way doesn't mean you have to agree.  Talk to you OB and find out if there has been an outbreak in your area, see how concerned you should be maybe she will strengthen your opinion on any over night guests being TDap immunized or maybe she can help put your mind at ease.

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  • Thanks everyone for the comments.  There has beena  few outbreaks in the area, I live in OK, from what I have read.  I think that both me and my sister might have the booster shot from going to college in Europe with the study abroad program.  I had to get one, I don't know for sure if she got one or not.  But her boyfriend has no idea and I don't know if I"m just being crazy controlling or stuborn just because it's her... I feel confused... I don't want to be the crazy mom that puts her baby in a bubble for every little germ type thing...

     

  • @Gapinaj I'm from Dallas and the outbreak here has been significant. We neighbor OK, so depending on where you live in OK (south?), I might insist. 
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  • I would tell her your just trying to be a good mom and all the information out there is overwhelming. Your excited for her visit and wanted her to know you would feel more comfortable if they both got the shot. Then the ball is in her court to be respectful. If you are ok with her coming without it then let it go. If your not ok with it, then have her stay somewhere else. It's your call in the end.
  • I feel completely out of the loop here, because I can't imagine requiring everyone to get a shot before I let them around my baby. Maybe someone can fill me in?
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  • Some great resources from American Academy of Pediatrics

    https://www2.aap.org/immunization/illnesses/dtp/pertussis.html

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  • You're not being crazy. I went so far as to ask for a copy/picture of my IL's immunization record because their story about when they had gotten/if they had gotten the shot changed so many times. I got LOTS of backlash, even from H on that one. At the end of the day I want to feel comfortable that the people in close contact with my LO are not a risk to her.
  • I had pertussis at18... It definitely can happen! So I did ask our immediate family to get them.

    DH got his at Rite Aid, no script and covered completely by our insurance, just walked in and got it. CVS and walgreens also give them, just check their sites.

    The CDC website said it takes two weeks to become effective, too, so depending on when your sis is visiting, it may not be effective at this point anyway.
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  • If anyone hasn't had a booster in 5 years, they may still be a carrier even if they show no symptoms. For those in the US, CVS or Walgreens or Sam's offer TDAP for some ridiculously inexpensive cost. That's how H got his and we had received boosters 5 years before that to help with hurricane recovery. No idea how it would work in another country but your sister has to take care of that. You do not. That's the last thing you need at 9mos pregnant!

    I had Whooping Cough as a child- it's serious stuff. Don't put your baby or yourself through that.


  • You're not being crazy. I went so far as to ask for a copy/picture of my IL's immunization record because their story about when they had gotten/if they had gotten the shot changed so many times. I got LOTS of backlash, even from H on that one. At the end of the day I want to feel comfortable that the people in close contact with my LO are not a risk to her.
    Alright, that's a little crazy...

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  • Well when one day MIL said "my doctor says I don't need it", the next day is "I had it as a baby", "my doctor says I am good to go" and then it was "I had it 2 years ago" I'm not really sure what else to do besides ask for a copy. She refused to go get a new booster and I couldn't get a straight answer about when her last booster was.
    I'm glad I was a little crazy about it, because when she sent it, I realized that her last booster was over 15 years ago.
  • I get being annoyed by your MIL being cagey, but demanding immunization records? That's just.. nuts. You should have just let your H tell her that until she gets a booster, she doesn't' see baby. Period.


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  • I did not demand her entire immunization history. I asked for a copy of when she received that one booster because H did tell her she needed to get it before coming and her responses were all over the place.
    If it's crazy, it's crazy I guess, but I would rather know she is UTD on it than have her visit for 2 months and wonder if she actually had it.
  • Thank you for posting this!!! My MIL was so mad that I requested this of her and my FIL. I am also asking my dad next time I see him, and already discussed it with my close aunt and sister. My sister lives away but is flying in within a month or so of the baby coming, and she had just had a booster last October. No one except my MIL has had an issue with this, she said I better not be asking only their family, and she is serious!! I now feel less crazy for sticking to my guns this morning about it. I also asked my DH to email his sister about it today, so he gets to her before my MIL, and can explain it to her and ask her and her bf to get it if they plan on coming for a visit. I have a huge extended family so I can't very well ask everyone who visits, but I am putting my foot down about grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

    I probably also am a little paranoid because I work in child care, and we had an outbreak in May.
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