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Intro.. finally (really long)

bc_babe1186bc_babe1186 member
in Stay at Home Moms
Hi everyone!
I should've introduced myself 5 months ago when I became a SAHM but it's been a little busy since then. DD #1 is two and a half and DD #2 is due in Nov. I actually found out I was pregnant the week after I put in my two weeks notice at my old job so I like to think that despite my difficulty getting used to being at home with DD, it was all meant to be. DH is a police officer and when his schedule changed from opposite to the same as mine, we decided I would quit to stay home. We were TTC anyways and after going through a MC last Oct., I liked the idea of being pregnant and not having to work. We also really didn't want to have to put DD in daycare.

As I mentioned before, it took me awhile to get used to being at home the majority of the time. I really enjoyed working and being able to socialize with people. I think we were a little unprepared for the reality of me being a SAHM too. DH had the sole responsibility of paying all the bills and talking about money is not easy for him at all. Sadly it wasn't something we discussed very often. So he was stressed out and seeing as I was in my first trimester, I was sleepy and didn't feel very good for those first few months. I felt pretty useless. Things have become much better now and with him working some off duty shifts, we feel more financially stable. The only problem is I don't feel included when it comes to making decisions about money. I've suggested cutting back on whatever bills we can, but that's about as far as it goes. It feels like he still thinks of it as his money instead of ours and if he doesn't think of the idea himself, it doesn't count. I do plan on trying to find a part time job after DD 2 arrives so I hope that'll help with some of these issues.

I love that I'm able to stay home and other than those few things, I've really enjoyed spending so much time with DD before her sister comes along. I think just the change of everything from not working to being pregnant to DH's new hours to a whole new routine for us has taken a toll on me. Any advice, words of encouragement, whatever, I would really appreciate!
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Re: Intro.. finally (really long)

  • dmartin726dmartin726 member
    I'm missing something.. Did you have separate monies before? I really don't get that he thinks it is still "his" money.

    But welcome! :)
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  • SocialworkgirlSocialworkgirl member
    Welcome! I think transitioning to staying at home, roles changing, etc. can be hard no matter when it happens. Regardless of whether you work or not, you and DH should work together and agree on how you manage your finances. I would definitely set aside a time when neither of you is stressed to really talk about it. Good luck as you and DH continue to adjust!
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  • dizzycooksdizzycooks member
    Welcome! That sounds like a lot of transition. Know that you are still an equal part of that relationship without working and if he doesn't see it as such you need to have a real talk about why you are home and what your role is.
    Hallelujah, it's a miracle, I have children AND a signature!
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