Silly, right? loss mentioned

SandFHasse · August 2014

In 2011 we found out I was pregnant. I started buying clothes and toys etc for the baby. At 8 weeks I miscarried our baby. I kept everything I had purchased. It's all currently in a box in our closet. In the box is this really cool toy that I know my kiddos would love. Part of me wants to take it out and the other part just wants to keep everything in the box. Idk why. It scares me to take it out. I'm being silly right?

jcwinsto · August 2014

Everybody grieves differently so I don't think any part of grieving in silly. With that said, my practical side is going to take over. I would look at it like it was a box of hand-me-downs. That's what they would have been eventually anyways, right? It would bug me to have a box that was just taking up space and not being used. Maybe keep a couple mementos to yourself like the ultrasound pic or something.

I'm sorry for your loss. I had 2 miscarraiges myself before having Hunter. The logical side of me says that they were earlier on, it is a normal occurance, and it shouldn't be that big a deal. The emotional side of me constantly wonders what those little babies would have looked like, what kind of person would they have grown up to be? I know that I certainly won't ever forget them even if I lose the ultrasound pics one day.

sugarland726 · August 2014

Loss and grief affects everyone differently. If it doesn't feel right to you to take the clothes and toys out, then don't. What I do may be different, but neither is wrong.

peanutmuse · August 2014

Not silly. I have Big Brother and Big Sister shirts that I made for our cats (go ahead, laugh at me!) when I first found out that I was pregnant and then had a loss. I haven't put them on the cats again but I can't bear to throw them away.

km_md · August 2014

First, I'm so sorry for your loss. Wanting to keep it in the box is not silly at all. Everyone grieves in their own way, and you are entitled to grieve how you need to. I have a box of things from my first pregnancy and some might think it's silly to hang on to, but I just can't get rid of it. As brief as it was, it was a life and my life was forever changed by it.

SandFHasse · August 2014

That's the problem. I think I would cry if I saw it every day. Thank you ladies for all your support. It is appreciated.

@peanutmuse I did laugh, but only because it is a cute idea and I pictured cats in shirts. My cat used to get pissed when I tried to dress her up.

@esd We nicknamed our angel "Jellybean." Our two healthy babies have helped too. I won't ever forget our angel though.

Roses87 · August 2014

I made a post shortly after I delivered my daughter similar to this. Mine was just a outfit though. I chose not to use it. But toys I think may be different? I think it's more if a personal choice. Everyone is different. The question is if you would be able to handle seeing and using the item's?

NenaMarie84 · August 2014

First, sorry for your loss. Second, I can't speak from experience but I think everyone grieves differently and if you feel the need to hang on to it and that gives you comfort, stick with it. No where does it say you can't keep things belonging to a passed family member.

MiaMyPuggle · August 2014

It's not silly at all. Catch 22...it will be too hard to see daily, yet it will never be used if you don't take it out for your kids to play with. Tough decision, I agree. Maybe let them play with it, but if it's too hard, put it away.

Very sorry for your loss. You'll make the right decision for you.

bee1916 · August 2014

So sorry for your loss. Like others have said, you have to do what feels best for you. I lost our first in 2012 at 13 weeks. I had a small maternity clothing collection started, but when we lost the baby I asked my husband to get rid of the things. At the time, I couldn't bear to look at them. Even though I could have used them again later for another pregnancy, I needed them gone because it was too painful. It was the right choice for me at the time. Best wishes to you!

goldenB · August 2014

Hugs mama.
I received a book called 'wherever you are my love will find you' by Nancy Tillman after my miscarriage. I read it to DS but I do think of my first baby in heaven as I go through the narrative. I will often say a prayer for that baby and have a quiet time of reflection. Sometimes I even pray out loud with DS to his 'guardian angel'. Just because they are gone, it doesn't mean they are forgotten. But everyone deals with grief differently so follow your heart and your mommy's intuition.

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