Who knew everyone gets a say in baby's name ?

bricadotte · August 2014

I am a FTM 20 weeks and it's a BOY! We are so excited but seem to be having such trouble naming him , I like more modern names ex. Easton , carter stuff like that . Dad likes more traditional names. My friends however think they have a huge Say in what the baby's name should be, commenting things like "we think it should be this or that , or that sounds feminine , or my Favorite "_____ is a NO" advice on how I should approach the " my baby's name is not your decision" without feelings getting hurt ?

Cryssteen · August 2014

Stop sharing your thoughts with them. And get some earmuffs.

bombe4 · August 2014

Just don't ask us to name your baby or pick a name out of a selection. So.over.those.posts.

Fossegirl1228 · August 2014

We're keeping the name a secret until she is here. I don't care what anyone thinks about the name, it's not their decision.

ColeyCannoli · August 2014

I totally understand. I haven't even shared our names and I keep getting "rules" from friends. "Don't name him Eric cause I knew an Eric who was an ass" or "my cousin's baby will be Calvin so don't use that." I just try to ignore it but it is annoying.

RayRay007 · August 2014

We just don't talk about it. When they ask about names (friends or family), we say we haven't thought about it yet or decided yet. There are a couple of close friends whom we trust that we might share some thoughts with (did with DD), and that was fine. I will not share with family though. They seem to think they have more of a say and/or are less careful with what comes out of their mouth.

agsgrrl · August 2014

My parents aren't thrilled with my name choice. My dad keeps calling it "some weird name" it's Adalina for shits sake. Ahh-duh-leena. Good thing I didn't ask for any opinions. That's the response everybody gets if they question it too. Don't care!

kimba1976 · August 2014

You're just going to have to politely refuse to discuss the topic. I made the mistake of telling a friend what we were considering naming DD and her response was "Why would you name a girl that, it sounds like a witch's name?"

I loved the name and we ended up using it, but it was really upsetting to hear those types of opinions. So yeah, lesson learned. We're keeping this one's name to ourself.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

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tiffanyhuffmany · August 2014

I just tell everyone the name we picked, and if they say anything rude, I say, well, this is the name we picked. Add on a smile, and they get kind of confused or irritated, but they stop and that's the end of it.

bowlwoman · August 2014

We learned this the hard way this time. I'm friends with a completely different set of people than I was when I was pregnant with the girls, and DAMN are these folks opinionated.

DH and I really like "Quentin," but I was told by more than one person (including my mixed-race best friend) that we can't name our baby that because "Quentin is a black name." Seriously???? WTF? For the record, DH and I are white. Not that it matters. But geesh. What is up with that? I think of old stuffy English dudes when I hear the name Quentin or a potential name for my unborn child.

Part of me is ready to name the baby Quentin just to stick it to them, but the girls really don't like the name either. Since we told them they have a say in the baby's name and they like our other choice better, we're probably going with Door #2. Which I like just as well. It just sucks that too many people thinking they had a say so in the name of our child put their feet in their mouths.

nashamber · August 2014

tiffanyhuffmany said:

I just tell everyone the name we picked, and if they say anything rude, I say, well, this is the name we picked. Add on a smile, and they get kind of confused or irritated, but they stop and that's the end of it.

This is exactly what my husband and I do. The smirk ends the comments really quick for us too!

lionyloo32 · August 2014

soulcupcake · August 2014

Keep it a secret if you think it might generate too much discussion.

My family hasn't really ever contributed to the whole naming process. Both my parents favor classic and traditional names. They greatly dislike modern, trendeigh and ukneeque names (mom, especially). My mom adores my kids' names, and she knows my taste.

I do have cousins in my age group (late 20's to mid 30's) who have kids now and have chosen some interesting names/spellings. Yeah... I raise an eyebrow at times, but never express my opinion.

When I was still in the first trimester and MIL and DH's aunt just found out we were expecting they asked us about names. At the time we liked Marguerite (Queen of France) and Constance (character in The Three Musketeers -- DH's favorite book). She didn't really say anything, but then said she liked the name Carly. Um, no. Big fat no.

mlee116 · August 2014

Cryssteen said:

Stop sharing your thoughts with them. And get some earmuffs.

This. Although I am usually tight lipped but last night my parents kept asking me about names so I told them a MN that I liked and my dad acted like a huge asshole about it. And I'm not exaggerating. So that will the end of any name discussions with them, period.

JunkieBrewster · August 2014

bombe4 said:
Just don't ask us to name your baby or pick a name out of a selection. So.over.those.posts.

To be fair, sometimes an outside perspective helps yo make you realize a name doesn't flow.

majoraimers · August 2014

Its the one thing we are keeping to ourselves. We are sharing the middle name, named after my awesome grandpa who just passed away, but the first name will be a surprise! Too many unsolicited opinions.

Shawlls · August 2014

I'm keeping my names a secret for the pure reason that I don't want people's opinions and it's a fun surprise!

I got my haircut on Friday and a 9 year old at the salon even said to me "Oh you're having a baby. What's the baby's name?" and when I told her it was a secret until the baby arrives, she understood. So if a 9 year old can understand, then adults should too

JaneArson · August 2014

bombe4 said:
Just don't ask us to name your baby or pick a name out of a selection. So.over.those.posts.

Really? I love those posts! I also hang out on the baby name board so I guess that's one of my interests. I like giving advice on names.

kayak11 · August 2014

We kept names a secret before and are doing the same this time. My MIL asked how they were supposed to give their opinions if we didn't share the name. She didn't really appreciate when I told her that was the reason why it was a secret

QueenOfSpades622 · August 2014

kayak11 said:
We kept names a secret before and are doing the same this time. My MIL asked how they were supposed to give their opinions if we didn't share the name. She didn't really appreciate when I told her that was the reason why it was a secret

Haha nice response

StopTheRWord · August 2014

We have had our names picked out for years and when my parents asked I told them without thinking about it. Ever since my mom has insisted we add Jane as an additional middle name to honor my nana who passed away on what will be our daughter;s due date. While I appreciate the sentiment and loved my nana, my daughter does not need two middle names. My mother inlaw also suggested changing the spelling (to make it more unneeek) to honor her grandparents (whom I have never met). I kind of wish I had never said anything.

path75 · August 2014

Definitely not sharing. Years ago my brother in law sat on the phone while my mothers ex read over a hundred names to him. I definitely would not have the patience.

mrsshour · August 2014

We made the mistake of telling people (family) some of our thoughts on names when we told them we were expecting. I was pretty taken back by the reactions. From the disapproving looks to the outright "if you name your baby that the poor child is going to suffer...what an awful name!" (Btw, the name was Ezekiel...don't understand how that equals suffering?).
So now we refuse to even hint. We won't say if we are picking the names we talked about and we won't talk about any new options. People will find out once the baby is here and that's that.
We will definitely be keeping it secret next time too...
Surprising how many people break out their opinions and are so quick to be negative! Friends have told me some really odd names and I never once thought to criticize...I just smile or ask how they came up with it/if it has a specific meaning.

ETA...words...

xc1148 · August 2014

@bowlwoman I have good (white) friends that named their son Quentin. I (black) never even thought of it as a black name. But I typically don't care about things like that. Good luck! I'd say to just use the name but I understand your point about the girls not liking it.

skrenz32783 · August 2014

I lie and tell people we don't know the baby name yet...although we have had our baby names picked out for years. I just don't want to hear opinions of folks that have no say in my baby choices. Folks seems to be mire inclined to accept once he\she is already here !

kelsz12 · August 2014

The only time I will talk about it to non-family members is if they personally ask me what the baby's name will be and I am terrible with secrets, so I tell them. Thankfully most people I have told either like his name, or if they don't, are kind enough to keep their mouths shut.

bowlwoman · August 2014

xc1148 said:

@bowlwoman I have good (white) friends that named their son Quentin. I (black) never even thought of it as a black name. But I typically don't care about things like that. Good luck! I'd say to just use the name but I understand your point about the girls not liking it.

Thanks for this.

I was getting paranoid that I was being culturally insensitive or something.

Now, DD1 has declared her support for Quentin, so we're now at 3 for, 1 against. And since DD2 is already lamenting the fact that she's getting a baby brother when she wanted a sister and DD1 got to pick her name, she may have more weight in this decision.

BBoyd2013 · August 2014

I have to laugh when I read this post b/c my husband and I had one of our biggest arguments over this. And the poor guy, it wasn't even his fault. I found out early on that EVERYONE has an opinion on what we should name our baby boy. We had one picked out and told the family, then got replies of "that's nice but _____ would have been good, too". Since then, I've learned to keep some things between hubby and I lol.

kayleighann21 · August 2014

We have had the same thing with our decision to call our little girl rose. People have twisted their face and said that it's an old persons name . But there's a reason behind why we want to call her that and personally I think it's a beautiful name. I suppose everyone has their own opinions but it would be easier if sometimes they kept them opinions to themselves!

keeping it a secret definitely is a good idea. If you don't tell anyone they can't comment! Wish I had of done this haha.

JRod13 · August 2014

After all the crap from our families about DS's name, including the "there's no way in hell we'll ever call him that," we just tell people we're still trying names on. I'll listen to their suggestions, in one ear out the other.

emp156 · August 2014

we're team green, but it took DH and i about 30 seconds to decide and agree on our boy and girl names. i haven't really gotten too many questions about the name (maybe bc we don't know the baby's sex). we have never even considered telling anyone (parents included) our names. when baby graces us w/ his/her presence, we'll give our name and ppl will know then. and at that point, if they don't like the name i really, really don't care.

i think it's very presumptuous for others to feel that they have any say in a name. it's one thing if you ask for opinions (tread w/ caution), but quite another for others to just spout off names.

Shortstack06 · August 2014

We are team green and the fact that we need an idea of what we like for different sexes is hard enough with DH and I. Let alone add everyone else. My mom constantly texts me names, I usually cringe. I will talk names with my best friend (she is due exactly 6 weeks after me) and she is finding out the sex so I know generally what to stay away from. FWIW, I love Easton and Weston for boys.

designchica · August 2014

Congrats on having a boy! Picking a baby name can be difficult when you are getting input with others and you've got to develop a thick skin quickly because people can be kind of brutal in their opinions of the names you pick! Just remember, you are never going to be able to pick a name that everyone likes.

EVERYONE, and I do mean EVERYONE right down to coworkers I hardly even know , were trying to have a say in our baby's name. I didn't listen to anyone though and the only person I consulted was baby daddy. I gave him a list of like 20 names to choose from and fortunately, he liked two names on the list. So we very quickly came up with Logan and it was a very easy decision that we are both very happy with.

I found that once we had picked a name and I announced that the name is Logan and that is all there is to it, people shut the hell up and stopped telling me what to name my baby. I was pretty firm with a few people though, including my mom who wanted me to name my baby Oprah. seriously. I had to tell her that her baby name picking days were long over and it my turn now!

Good luck!!

diz1313 · August 2014

The only person I really had any conversation about baby names, besides DH of course, was my mom. And man, she was a jerk. I told her one of our girl name ideas was Josephine (Jo) of short ..... and she flew off the handle saying you couldn't name a little white girl that! o.O seriously?! What's with the racist sounding drivel, Mom!!

It made me so mad.
Now that we know that we are indeed having girls we just announced thier names when we found out thier gender and no one has said much of anything about it. We used the same tactic with our son.
Apparently as long as you package it as a done deal people keep their opinions to themselves..... mostly.

bubblesnco · August 2014

We told immediate family because we couldn't wait once we found out I we were going to have a boy. They seem pretty happy with our choice :-). I've told a couple friends at work, and while they don't necessarily love it, they certainly haven't been rude about it. The closer we get the less I'm concerned, we've already decided and that's all there is to it at this point.

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