ONLY CHILD?????

nymom1015 · August 2014

Hi all,

I'm so happy i found this board. My husband and I have been trying for a couple of months to have a second baby, I already have a 16 mth old, precious little girl. I always wanted a girl and now i have one, and thats all i ever really dreamed of. I guess i never really thought about other children. Except the fact that i have a twin sister, and we are best friends. I could not imagine my life without her. So when i think about this, i start to feel guilty, not giving my little girl a sibling, but then i start to think about what its like to grow up as an only child and I start to worry, because i dont really know what its like.

What are your opinions? I just know if i'm one and done, we will be able to provide so much more for her. we can travel every year, she'll be able to go to a great school. We wont be so worried financially, but i'm just so worried about her resending me if i dont give her a sibiling. i'm driving myself crazy, with our first it happen quickly and with our second since it's not happening immediately i guess i'm starting to question if it's meant to be.

jellybean529 · August 2014

Welcome to the board

It's a tough decision, deciding to have one or two (or even three or four)...there's always something to second guess. I guess my thinking on this is that there is no guarantee that siblings will be close with each other.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

Hi there! I'm also in the camp that doesn't think siblings are necessary or guaranteed to be a benefit. I think whatever you and your SO feel would make you the best parents to your LO, that is what will be the best for her.

I also feel complete and content with my DS, and to me that's enough of a reason to be OAD, though I have others. You'll see we have a lot of fence-sitters here and a range of reasons for being OAD, so I think you'll get a lot out of participating in the board. Welcome!

Helenahhandbasket · August 2014

I've said it before, and I will say it again- I would MUCH rather only have one and regret not having another, then have another and regret a living, breathing child.

That being said, welcome-- stick around!

Also- YGPM

dmlk413 · August 2014

Helenahhandbasket said:

I've said it before, and I will say it again- I would MUCH rather only have one and regret not having another, then have another and regret a living, breathing child.

That being said, welcome-- stick around!

Also- YGPM

OMG, this. 100% this.

MAtoNC · August 2014

I see from the Working Moms board that you are actively TTC and are worried because you are not yet pregnant. First of all, I wish you all the best in your journey to conceive a second child. But secondly, I want to reassure you that if, for whatever reason you are not successful down the road, there can be a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of embracing OAD.

Some people start out OAD by choice while others who would like to have more than one child become OAD by circumstance (medical or otherwise).

Even though I would have had a second child if I could, I have begun to realize the upsides of OAD. Financial security, more time with my child, and much more. While they don't take away the "absence" of a second child, these benefits are great for my child (and for us!). I see a future when I will honestly be thankful we are 3 and will "choose" it as my preferred family size.

Welcome!

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