Scheduling Activities

mae0111 · August 2014

How many structured activities are your kids doing at any given time? Ages?

I just had to put a matrix together for my 2 kids. DD1 will be in preK MWF until 2 (until 4 on Mondays). On Tues she will have gymnastics, Thurs swim lessons until November. Friday afternoons she has an optional tennis conditioning/match, and then Saturday mornings she has tennis lessons. DD2 is almost 1.5 years old, and she'll have music class on Mondays, play group on Wednesdays, and swim lessons on Friday until November. Our nanny will be taking her to everything.

I feel like I've totally over scheduled them, but there are SO MANY THINGS I think they'd enjoy. I'm spending a near-fortune between the nanny and the activities, and I oscillate between feeling like it's not enough and feeling like I'm cheating them out of experiences.

I'm ridiculous. Any thoughts? What do you all do for activities?

Virgo17 · August 2014

I think that sounds like a lot for the older child. I would take the approach of trying one activity at a time to gauge her interest. My oldest is 4. She will have preschool MWF and I signed her up for soccer this Fall. She will have practice one night a week and games on Saturday morning.

For the 1.5 year old, those sound more like loosely scheduled activities she could go to while the older one is in school. I don't think that's as big of a deal.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

I will preface by saying we are very lucky. DS's activities are hosted through the school as extras. He has two sports during the day at school. They do them during naps and the kiddos participating get woken up earlier.

We are starting a children's martial art program but it is private lessons every other week while we are already at the gym. It's more about giving him something to do and having fun while we are training.

If these weren't offered through the school, we would skip it. I was in a million activities and know that once we start, it snowballs and doesn't stop until they can drive and take themselves. We will re-evaluate the activites once he is in kindergarten.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

You have to ask yourself- Do they enjoy the activities? Does it make family life too hectic or add to it? Am I doing this because they want to or because I want them to do it?

jlaOK · August 2014

We are leaning towards only doing 1 activity at a time. So far DS has only done soccer and swim lessons. I also tend to steer him towards activities that only last a couple of months.

I feel as though we have such limited time in the evenings that I don't want to cram in any more. Maybe I'll fee different when the kids start school and we aren't getting home at 5:30 every evening.

brachysira · August 2014

I think your kids sound lucky that you can afford to give them so many opportunities. I think the activities for your 1.5 y.o. are perfect--getting out of the house is important. If your older child is really into all the activities, I would keep them. I might drop tennis because a) Saturdays are a good day to chill as a family, clean, or you might have a lot of one-time things to do like barbecues that conflict; b) pre-K is a little young to learn tennis. If she says she is too tired or doesn't like an activity, you should drop it because it is a lot, but if she's excited to go, take her. Both of your LOs need free play time both with friends and at home. You don't want her to be so overscheduled that she can never lie down and look at a book or never say yes to a playdate. However, all of those activities sound fun to me, so if she is into it, try it.

traveltheworld · August 2014

I think since your older one is not in pre-K 5 days a week, your schedule sounds fine. Having 1 organized activity a day seems fine. We pretty much do the same thing. I only schedule 1 organized activity on the weekend though because I like having some more family time.

mae0111 · August 2014

Thanks everyone! We're definitely lucky because most of the activities are during weekdays, as opposed to evenings or weekends. So our nanny will take them to most.

Tennis is the one weekend activity we have so far. She did it last year, and loved it. It wasn't offered in the same way over the summer (only week-long clinics that conflicted with DD2's very important nap time), and she has missed it. It's at 9am, so hopefully not too many conflicts. It's a special thing that she gets to do with her dad, without her little sister tagging along.

I get myself all crazy about stuff like this. I think that if my only option was after work, they wouldn't every participate in anything! They're both puddles by the time I get home.

rockychryslerb2010 · August 2014

At 2.5 yrs, we have E in one scheduled activity at a time. We pretty much switch off a 6 week swim program with mygym classes. We usually stop into one or two other 'structured' activities that don't require advance registration and payment. Usually that means library storytime or another age appropriate program through our community center. As he gets older, we'll see what happens.

shannm · August 2014

Both kids have had outside of the home full time care since they were infants so stimulation is not an issue.

Having said that, DS is six going into first grade. He participates in an after school program that has extras including cartooning, bee keeping, woodworking throughout the year. We tried the athletic classes but he isn't really into them. We may start music lessons at the school during aftercare this year.
He also has swimming classes scattered year round. We are going to enroll him in an intro to ice hockey course that meets on Sundays. If he enjoys it, we will have him join the league.
During the summer, he is in camp full time so no need for extras.

DD has nothing but full time daycare and swimming. When she turns three, I will introduce her to a tumbling class. I think she will really like it.

DH and I intend on teaching them both to do basic climbing and bouldering.

We don't do much out of school but all of the above exhausts me just typing it. I'm in the less is more camp.

KayteeGee · August 2014

I don't think it's too much.
At DC DS (3.5) has dedicated culinary, computer and dance/gymnastics once each week - it's just that it's all packaged into his daycare so they don't get "counted" as indiviudal things.
On the weekends we have soccer (and sometimes go to a Gymboree art class) on Saturdays and on Sundays he has Gymboree and swim. I'm sad I can't squeeze in tennis for him.

rab41380 · August 2014

My DD is almost 6 amd she takes Dance one evening a week, we have stuck to this same activity since she has been 2. DS will start soccer this fall. I feel like between school and work, that's all the time we have with still having family time. I had nanny taking dd to dance last year and I want to start taking her. I feel like extra curricular activities need parent involvement too.

SunAndRain · August 2014

Your eldest's schedule sounds fine - it is one activity per day, except Friday where there are 2. And then a total break on Sunday.

Since my 2 year old spends 45 hours per week in daycare, we do ONE scheduled activity with her: swimming. She has been taking weekly 30-minute lessons since she was 10 weeks old. It is great quality time for her and I (or DH, he has taken her on a few occasions) since the structure is mommy and me.

Other than that she goes to the barn with me for 2 hours on the weekend. It isn't scheduled, per se, but it is a LOT of stimulation and excitement for her.

I am thinking we'll start her in martial arts when she is 3. DH would love to take her to that. Another option is ballet. If she is interested in equestrian sports like her mom then either of these activities will provide a strong foundation for horseback riding: strength and balance. Oh, discipline too!

MickeyM04 · August 2014

I think it totally depends on the kids, but that does sound like a lot to me. That being said, our work schedule has us out of the house at 6:45 in the morning and not home from daycare til 6:15 p.m. We don't really have time to do this many activities, and weekends are pretty much our only time as a family. DS just finished an 8 week Saturday morning parent/tot sports class and I felt like one class once a week for 45 minutes was plenty for us, because it basically ate up our whole Saturday morning for 8 weeks.

I think you have to have a happy medium and figure out what that is for your family (this may be it). My parents didn't do ANY activities like this for us, largely because they didn't want to schlep us anywhere. I think I did ballet for 2 months when I was 5 and I didn't enjoy it so that was it for ballet. Then when I was in 4th grade my parents let me do an after school sports program 2 days a week for a quarter and that was it. We were basically told, when you can drive yourself to activities, you can do them. I felt like I missed out on a lot, as all of my friends were in some sort of activity. That being said, on the other end of the spectrum, I had friends who had things 3 or 4 weeknights a week (dance usually) and then recitals and whatnot every weekend, and I remember them being kind of stressed out about it...they didn't have time to just play and be kids and hang out.

I agree with PP who said if your kid wants to do all the activities, then go for it. But are you scheduling all these things for your kids because the kid wants to do it/likes it, or because you want them to do it/like it?

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