Am I being one of "those" moms?

Samiantha101 · August 2014

My daughter recently transitioned to a new room at daycare. Her previous daycare teachers were simply amazing. It's been a rougher transition than I thought. Anyways, my husband does almost all the drop-offs and pickups, as I work in the opposite direction. My daughter has to go to a closing room now at the dc. Almost every day my daughter has been coming home in a diaper that's not hers. Sometimes they'll stuff her in diapers two sizes too small or in a pull-up. She isn't anywhere near potty-trained. I asked my husband to ask the teachers about this. Their response was diapers go missing in the closing room, so they don't like to bring many over there, but they state they'll bring her diapers over to closing room. Well, they didn't. She consistently came home with some other kid's diaper. This week Ive had to do pick ups a couple of the days. Well, I bring my daughter to the car only to notice she needs to be changed. I didn't have diapers in my car, so I go to her room to get a diaper. I count her diapers. There were 30 diapers. I hadn't brought in new diapers since she started a month ago in the new room. In her old room, I would have had to bring in more diapers for sure. Of course at this time she isn't in her own diaper. I ask to speak with the supervisor (the director had already left). She assured me this issues would be brought up and resolved. Well, it's been two days. My daughter has been in her diapers but both days she has come home with diaper rash. Today, my husband goes to pick her up and my daughter says to him "daddy, I poop". The teacher chimes in that she just checked her and that she is clean. Well, I checked her when they got in and she had a poop and pee filled diaper. Her butt was raw and she screamed bloody murder while changing her. There is no way she had only been sitting in it on the car ride home. I was furious and now have a meeting with the director on Monday. Am I overreacting? I LOVED this center just a month ago. And now, I dread the idea of my daughter going back.

shakinros · August 2014

I'd be annoyed too. For what it's worth, my DD also battled diaper rash the first few weeks when she switched to toddler room because they had to get in a groove of diaper changing. The kids are more active and the diapers get changed on more of a schedule, which may be less frequent than in infant.

By all means, talk to the director and leave a note for the closing teachers that she has to be changed more. I'd also just bring in more diapers, labeled, to leave in the closing room.

kikimeemee · August 2014

Your feelings seem very justified to me. I understand a random diaper if her own stash runs out but this situation is odd. And her poor lil bum with the rash!

I don't have kids in daycare yet but wanted to give my opinion that your concerns seem appropriate and legitimate.

Mustardseed2007 · August 2014

Yeah it sounds like they need to reevaluate their diaper changing routine in her new room and in the closing room. Do they not have a paper they give you that shows diaper changes? After your sit down with the director if you don't see improvement you might want to look into a place that does that...I have a feeling though that this will get fixed with a meeting just bc it's a basic thing.

Other peoples diapers wouldn't bother me if they were the right size and she was being changed regularly, but that is not the case. It's a daycare, they ought to be pros at diaper changing.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

Nope. I'd be pissed and it would be a red flag.

I'm always in favor of talking to a teacher and Director on issues to gauge their response.

Theirs was apathetic at best. I'd start searching elsewhere.

traveltheworld · August 2014

I'd be annoyed too. DS has to go to the closing room too and although I'm not sure what happens with the diapers, he always comes home with his own, or at least one that fits him. To me, it shows a total lack of care on their part. FWIW - DS has severe allergies and has a little backpack that has his medication and epi-pen, and that little backpack follows him everywhere. And we go to a center that has lots of floaters and lots of rooms and multiple outdoor play areas, but never once have I discovered that they've left the backpack behind. So if you cared enough, keeping track of a diaper for a child should not be that difficult.

Samiantha101 · August 2014

@Mustardseed2007‌ , they do have a sheet to show when they were changed. Yesterday, it showed that she had last been changed at three, although she was dry. She is always dry at three, and they always check her then. Her diaper was then last previously changed at noon. My husband picked her up at five. I just am uncomfortable knowing that for half of the day she isn't being changed, because she doesn't pee for about a half hour after three. There is no possible way that the daycare closing teacher checked her and found a dry butt. She pees between noon and five. There is zero doubt in my mind.

@theresat858‌ My husband first brought it up to the teachers. She said she would bring her diapers to the closing room. She didn't either bring enough or the closing teachers are not being compliant. After it not being resolved with the teacher, we went to the supervisor on duty and now director.

I don't want to change centers, because it's by far the nicest center in our area. It's also directly across the street from my husband's work. It's a rather large daycare. They have six different toddler rooms. I am wondering if requesting a change in her room would be worth our time.

Mustardseed2007 · August 2014

I just can't see how they won't be able to fix this. It's worth having sit downs and technically worth changing center but I just doubt it will come to that.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

I don't say this often or lightly.

I would report them. Those are violations. I don't overlook healthy and safety violations. Report that shit now.

VOR · August 2014

No, you aren't overreacting. I would be upset too.

minirella · August 2014

I'm newer to the bump. I have a 4 year old and am expecting twins so I post over on the multiples board but I've lurked over here because I am and have been a working parent.

I've pulled my daughter out of 2 daycares. I use to work in a daycare long ago and I have a certain expectation level for care of my child (fed/offered food, taken potty, and in the same condition as when I dropped her off). I understand that things happen but they should be minimal. Here is what happened with mine - just to give you insight:

My daughter goes to a preschool that is closed during the summer. She was put in a part-time center program. First day, husband picked her up and when I got home found she had a bloody, blistering rash. Next day, she goes to grandma's and I go to daycare to figure out what went on. Staff paints a picture-perfect day. Spoke to director twice. Daughter did not go back and I officially pulled her 2 days later. Picked up her items and 1 pull-up missing. Since no one can give me an explanation, I can only assume that she was left in a dirty diaper most of the day. My husband says she was bone dry when he got home with her.

For me, it was a trust issue. Maybe a room change will solve the issue, maybe it won't. All you can do is discuss the issue with the director and see what their response is about the situation. (I'll spare you the details of the first daycare I pulled my daughter from but it originated from a crap response I got from the director regarding a biting issue).

ASmallWonder · August 2014

Any one of those issues taken by itself would get a "give it a chance to work itself out" or "give them another chance - shit happens" from me but all together and it's not a good situation and I'd be pissed and I'm SUPER laid back.

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns · August 2014

I would probably change centers. I would be concerned about what other things could be falling through the cracks.

Mustardseed2007 · August 2014

If changing centers is that easy in your area, then i might consider it. At my son's school they check the kids every 2 hours, but also change as needed. He's often dry when they check him, but that doesn't stop them from taking action when he's dirty in between times. At DDs they write down when they check but it's not always every 2 hours-especially since dd sleeps a lot. I actually prefer the way ds's center does that and other things and I'm looking forward to the day she's old enough to go there (they start at 18 mos).

I keep harping on trying to get them to do right bc a) you were previously happy and b) changing centers in our area is hard hard hard. Like long long wait lists to get anywhere. You have more power if it's not that way, obviously.

laurakaz13 · August 2014

I agree that you are not overreacting and I'm the most laid back mom in the world. DD has only had diaper rash 3 or 4 times in her life and I would complain to the teachers if it ever happened. I would tell the Director that it is absolutely unacceptable and needs to change.

I understand where you're coming from as my DD goes to the best pre-school/daycare in our area by far, and I would not want to switch her out. I'd want them to fix the SIMPLE problem.

emberlee3 · August 2014

Your concerns are completely legitimate. As far as I know, the "change every 2 hours and immediately for BM" rule applies to all children in diapers. Both centers that my kids attended had schedules for changing the toddlers. DD was often dry when she woke up from her nap, so her teachers checked her extra times in the afternoon and always when I got there to pick her up.

MommyAtty · August 2014

You are very far from being "one of those moms." I would completely lose it. This really is basic hygiene. You don't leave kids in wet or dirty diapers. And seriously? They don't do the basket thing where the kid's diaper basket goes with them? What if you have a special diaper rash cream or something your kiddo needs? (Which she totally will for goodness knows how long if they keep this up.)

djm31012 · August 2014

I would definitely be annoyed by this issue. Our center changes diapers every 2 hours no matter what...and if he poops, its more frequent, because really who wants to smell that for 2 hours?! I had a similar situation where I loved infant 1, hated infant 2...and had a request in to move him up to infant 3 one month earlier than they normally would have. I have been SO happy in that room, so maybe these teachers just aren't a fit. If that is an option, I would try that....It sounds like you have made multiple attempts to rectify the situation , and it is just not working.

MickeyM04 · August 2014

Edited for reading fail.

Don't get me wrong, I think you have every right to be annoyed but honestly when DS started at his new daycare we had a ton of issues with diaper rash initially and now nothing at all. The center we are at provides diapers, probably for the reasons I read about so often on this board--trying to keep track of diapers for 16 kids in a 2 year old room is probably a nightmare. I do think it's part of getting used to a new kid in some sense. Like DS does need to be changed more often than the 2 hour standard in our state, because he is suceptible to rashes, and it took them a bit to realize they had to do that, and a couple times of me asking them. Similarly, it took awhile for them to get used to him needing A&D ointment at every single change to prevent additional rashes. And while his usual teachers caught on right away, sometimes there are subs and they obviously don't know DS's idiosyncracies with his diaper rash issues.

Similarly, DS goes into a closing room at the end of the day (5:30 I want to say), so he's in there for about half an hour before I get there. They do not bring diapers into the closing room because the center is only open for an hour after the kids move to the closing room, and they change everyone before they go into that room, and if someone poops during that time (5:30-6:30) someone will take the kid to their room and do a diaper change. Of course there have been a couple times (literally 2 times I think) in 6 months where I've gotten DS home and noticed that he's pooped. But there's about 15 kids in the room at the end of the day of all different ages, and usually only 3 teachers, so I figure it would be super easy to miss a poop here and there, and like I said, it literally has happened two times ever.

I would have a talk with the director, as you are doing, and I would personally do drop off and pick up at least once so you can also talk to LO's teachers face to face. I know you talked to the superviser, but is that person actually one of LO's teachers? Is it possible she didn't convey the message to the people who are actually with your LO all day? With DS's diaper rash issues when he first started, I would speak to the morning teacher who wasn't DS's actual teacher and then just have to hope she conveyed the message to his actual teachers. I found that the issue wasn't resolved until I spoke to DS's actual teachers and the director myself, rather than playing telephone and having DH pass along the message or me pass along a message to someone who I then hoped would pass along the message to DS's teachers. It's so easy for messages to be lost, people to forget things, etc.

I would definitely be pissed, don't get me wrong. I just think at this point it's not worth switching centers yet, at least not until you've personally spoken to the director and your LO's teachers and seen it not get resolved. Remember, your LO is one of many many many LO's there. I had to be patient and let a few weeks go by before everyone got my DS's butt issues figured out, and we haven't had a problem ever since.

jtmomma13 · August 2014

This would NOT work for me. First of all diapers are expensive- why are they using other peoples? And to put your child in a diaper that doesn't even fit her- that is pure laziness and neglect, IMO. And then you throw on the severe diaper rash...no, no, no.

I would without a doubt be sitting down with the director and I would be a making a big stink about this. And if nothing changed, you should look into a new center or doing a home daycare. Most of the DCC's that we toured changed diapers every 2 hours- regardless if they were wet. If you child has a wet or dirty diaper they should NOT be sitting in it. I don't care if they have to change the diaper every hour! I just see this as a huge sign of neglect and it would make me uncomfortable because my mind instantly goes to "well what else are they neglecting".

Samiantha101 · August 2014

Well, I had a talk with the director. I let her know this isn't acceptable. This has been my only complaint with this center for the entire year we've been there. I will give them a chance to make it right. I made it clear that I expect her to be checked again within the hour if she is dry at three. Also, thank you all for your responses. It's nice to have perspective in really personal situations.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

A diaper that doesn't fit isn't neglect. That's a little over the top. It's lazy but not legitimately neglect.

Leaving a child in a diaper for 5 hours is neglectful.

jtmomma13 · August 2014

MarlaSinger& said:

A diaper that doesn't fit isn't neglect. That's a little over the top. It's lazy but not legitimately neglect.

Leaving a child in a diaper for 5 hours is neglectful.

@marlasinger& you are correct lol. I didn't proof read! The leaving a child in a soiled diaper and the diaper rash are neglectful. The diaper sizing is very lazy.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

I am stuck on the fact that this seems habitual and something that shouldn't need readdressing. So many things stick out... habitually letting a child marinate in a soiled diaper for hours, the Directors lack of giving two shits about the situation (and defending it?) and the overall lack of the school and teacher to resolve this issue.

Changing rooms is a decent solution if it works but I would still report the school. You really owe it to the other kids as well as your own to have the state take a look at what else might be slacking.

asws1208 · August 2014

I think once or twice this happening would be not something of concern.. But over and over again I would be furious! I

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