Parenting after a Loss

we need help!

DD's transition to the crib has been a nightmare. Last night she was up crying for the paci every 10 minutes from 11pm-3am. And she is more fussy during the day because she is so overtired. She has been a great nighttime sleeper from day one and has been STTN no problem for many weeks now. I guess we are due for these sleepless nights. :(

I'm not sure whether to stick it out and give her a few days to adjust or to call it quits and move her back to our bedroom and try again in a few weeks. I was trying to do all these changes well before DH and I go away at the beginning of February. Plus I really felt like DH and I needed our bedroom back.

I think the biggest problem is that when she was in our bedroom, I was giving her the paci back the minute she grunted for it. Maybe I spoiled her?? Now I don't get to her until she's in an all-out cry. I hate that she's doing so much crying now. :(

We're also trying to wean her from the swaddle because she is now able to flip back to belly and I'm scared for her to not have her arms. I also feel like if she could learn to suck on her hands it might help solve the paci problem. Maybe this is too much change at once???

Now I'm wondering if maybe it's something different. Could she have been hungry??? She's been STTN for so long that this never even occurred to me until now. But I do think she is going through a growth spurt. Could it be the wet diaper? Again I never change her in the middle of the night. But could that have been bothering her?? I've also noticed that she shimmies herself over to the corner of the crib so she is snuggled up against the bumper (which worries me in iteslf.) Could the crib be too open for her? Should I try a sleep positioner or something?

Ugh. Every time I feel like I get her figured out she goes and throws us for a loop.?Any suggestions or insight is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Re: we need help!

  • Sorry you are having issues.  If your DD is rolling from back to belly then I definitely wouldn't swaddle or use an infant positioner and let her do what she wants.  When she was in your room was she in a bassinet.  When we 1st moved DD to her room we kept her in her bassinet for a couple of wks and then started putting her in her crib.  So maybe try that.  My DD also was a mover in her crib so we put in a breathable bumper since she loved to lay right against it.  Made me feel a lot less paranoid.  Your DD is probably approaching what people call the 4 month wakeful period.  She is becoming an aware little being and probably got used to be so close to mommy!  So my advice is try to do as little nightime intervention as possible.  She probably isn't hungry or needs a diaper change if she has been STTN for awhile.  Do you have any kind of soothers in her nursery.  We bought the baby crack machine (homedics spa machine) and I swear both the sounds and projection really help.  Unfortunately I have come to find that every time I got things figured out and get into a routine it changes but I have learned that that is life with a growing baby!

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  • I have no real advice for you but I just wanted you to know that we are also have crib difficulties.  Gianna roams her crib at night and it scares the crap out of me!  She is able to scoot herself a full 180 degrees and up against the crib slats (we do not have a bumper).  Not too mention that in her swing she sleeps from 6-10 hours at a time.  The first night she slept in her crib 6 hours but last night it was 4.  I go back to work in 10 days and am going to be useless if I have to get up multiple times per night.  We have decided to start her in the crib and after her first waking we will put her in the swing.  Gradually we are going to decrease the movement of the swing until it is not swinging (over several weeks) then we will go to the crib all night long.  She had her arms out last night, right?  What if you put her back in your bedroom and start weening her from the swaddle?  Then, when she has that down, start trying to ween the paci at night.  Then move her to the crib.  That is my best guess.
  • We do have the baby crack machine -- she just got it for xmas from my SIL. The ocean sound is a lot like the white noise machine we had in our bedroom. And we play the projector all night long too. She loves it when she's happy. But when she's mad, she's MAD!!! I don't even think she notices it.
  • I have no advice but wanted to pass along my virtual, on line support - Sleep issues can definitely be frustrating. Best of luck to you!!
  • ok... first off... one thing at a time... its either moving her to the crib OR the swaddle... too many things and my DD gets so confused and we end up with a really bad night (or 5)

    but stick with the crib transition. Keep up the bedtime routine, and try to keep it the same as you would do when she was in your room, just do it in her room. it can take up to 5 days before a new routine sets in. 

    also... we did crib transition in stages: nights 1-3 she started in her room, first full out cry she came to bed with us, nights 4-6, started our in her room, 2nd full out cry she came to bed with us. and kept doing that till she was in her room all night long. i feel your pain tho, DD's room is on another floor than our bedroom, so a flight of stairs every time she cried was irritating, but now she STTN (most nights) all on her own. 

    we started to swaddle DD loosely before we transitioned to the crib (because of the stairs) that way if she wanted to break free she could, and she would usually get at least one hand out to suck on it. 

    you said: I've also noticed that she shimmies herself over to the corner of the crib so she is snuggled up against the bumper (which worries me in iteslf.) 

    DD does that too, its the need to feel comfort and be in a small place, DD still does that (she takes her bunny, her blanket and her pillow and puts them all in one corner then goes to sleep on top of everything) lol but she is used to being all snuggly in your belly, and being in a smaller space helps keep her warmer, think standing in a large empty freezer with your arms out, then tucked in a ball in the corner... much warmer all tucked into the corner.  

    just stick with it, the more you change it up, the more confused she'll be... GL! 

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  • I'm sorry you're going through this.  It can't be easy.  I feel that since you've started her in the crib, you've got to stick with it.  Also, since she is moving so much, the swaddle poses a danger.  At this point a sleep positioner is going to do more harm than good.

    I think she has to learn to go to sleep without the paci.  When she is falling asleep, does she do it with the paci?  Even if you are taking it out when she is awake but clearly very drowsy (rolling eyes, etc), it doesn't do much good because she's already entered "sleep land."  I think that would be the first place to start.  Get her to sleep without the paci, and without a whole lot of intervention from you.  Once she learns how to fall asleep by herself at night, she'll be able to do it in the middle of the night.

    I can share with you what we did if you are interested... email me at gal.from.cali @ gmail.com

    GL :)

  • I def think the paci is the issue with this and not so much the crib.

    Does she need the paci in order to stay asleep? Does she have it in her mouth all night? DD sometimes will fall asleep with the paci but will spit it out after a few minutes or I will take it out of her mouth before putting her down. weaning her off needing the paci at all times in order to sleep would be ideal. I would maybe talk your pedi about any ideas of how to do so. You dont need to result to CIO in order to "teach" babies to do things but I am no expert so I think asking a medical professional would be your best bet at this point. GL! =)

     

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