Suggestions -- things to do/research

FishyMom · August 2014

So a couple of recent threads have me thinking That I am not going to do something or something I should be researching that I am not... Example... Recent threads talked about getting a TDAP, registering for the hospital, etc. I know this may be hard question, but is the any random things that FTM should do or look into that we have not talked about? Any suggestions may be helpful to some.

One I have thought of was cord banking/donation/delayed cord clamping.

anyone feel free to jump in, I don't think any suggestions are too elementary. Thanks!

moroccojade · August 2014

(Neither of these might not apply to you and your situation... but they might apply to someone else's who might be reading...)

Daycare/childcare/preschool. Some programs are very competitive in some cities. I applied for a preschool for my first daughter when I was 12 weeks pregnant. The youngest she could start was 2.5 years of age. **We did not get in**. I did not apply early enough. Tell me that is not hilarious.

Car seat installation. We had no idea what we were doing, and I wanted her seat to be safe. So I had to find an official "car seat clinic". I guess I left it a bit too late, as we were in the car driving to another city for over an hour just to get an appointment.

mamatohne · August 2014

If you plan on it breastfeeding. I can tell you it was the thing I was least prepared for and would have been much more successful know then what I know now.

Maelara · August 2014

Maybe start figuring out what you want in your hospital bag, your SO's hospital bag and your diaper bag.

If you're going to babywear (helps with milk production), what type do you want? Ring sling, woven, structured (ergo, Tula, etc.).

Research when it's appropriate to start sleep training (hint, for CIO, it's 6 months minimum) or if you even want to do sleep training.

FishyMom · August 2014

tarynleann said:
If you plan on it breastfeeding. I can tell you it was the thing I was least prepared for and would have been much more successful know then what I know now.

What do you know now that you did know then!?!? This is a hot topic for me. I am worried that I won't do it well.. Lots of anxiety.

missnacholover · August 2014

Updating your will and life insurance now that there will be a little one. Figuring out who will be the legal guardian(s) of your child should the unthinkable happen and you and your SO both pass away.

How to prevent SIDs...safe sleeping and all that stuff.

mrsodonnell12 · August 2014

Birth plans for sure. Find out what is considered routine at your hospital for labor and delivery and for newborn care and research it specifically to decide if its something you are OK with or you want to opt out on.

Example: when I had ds1 I had a hospital delivery, standard practice was an iv after you got checked in, I opted out and got a hep lok. For ds we opted out of eye drops and hep b vaccine.

carafern · August 2014

As a FTM I don't have much to add (my doula mentioned placenta encapsulation, I don't think its for me but thought I'd throw it out there).

Mostly, I wanted to thank the OP for this question and you all for your suggestions. I had some of these floating in my head but now I have a concrete list! Thanks!

mamatohne · August 2014

Ashris13 said:

tarynleann said:
If you plan on it breastfeeding. I can tell you it was the thing I was least prepared for and would have been much more successful know then what I know now.
What do you know now that you did know then!?!? This is a hot topic for me. I am worried that I won't do it well.. Lots of anxiety.

While I was in the hospital with my son, the nurses convince me he wasn't getting enough to eat and he was. I didn't know if I had a good latch, I didn't know how much he was eating. I decided to start pumping so I could visually see what he was eating. Mind you the first time I fed him he ate for an hour! I now know the difference in a baby "pacifying" vs eating. I know to start a schedule once you know your baby's needs. I know that I'm not going to pump and bottle feed until I have to (going back to work) I know the MINUTE I stopped breastfeeding I gained 10 lbs. I feel much more prepared for breastfeeding second time around.

FishyMom · August 2014

@tarynleann the weight gain when you stop breast feeding is very good to know!! I am really banking on the weight loss while breast feeding!!

Maelara · August 2014

Ashris13 said:

@tarynleann the weight gain when you stop breast feeding is very good to know!! I am really banking on the weight loss while breast feeding!!

Breastfeeding doesn't really help with weight loss

( it will help slowly, but it usually takes 9 months to a year for you to notice too much. It does work wonders for some women so don't get me wrong. I'd just come up with a plan B just in case!

mrsodonnell12 · August 2014

Maelara said:

Ashris13 said:

@tarynleann the weight gain when you stop breast feeding is very good to know!! I am really banking on the weight loss while breast feeding!!

Breastfeeding doesn't really help with weight loss

( it will help slowly, but it usually takes 9 months to a year for you to notice too much. It does work wonders for some women so don't get me wrong. I'd just come up with a plan B just in case!

Definately depends on the mama. With my first 2 I lost all my pregnancy weight by 2-3 pp strictly by nursing. Some women's bodys hang onto that last 5-10 lbs of pregnancy weight to ensure milk production and then they lose it as soon as baby is weaned. It varies so much!!

mamatohne · August 2014

I didn't necessarily loose weight while I was nursing, but I had a HUGE appetite. When I stopped I was still just as hungry but wasn't burning the calories like I was when I was breastfeeding but eating the same way.

Interesting fact: The average pregnant mother should consume an extra 200 calories a day, while a breastfeeding mother should consume an extra 700 a day.(I eat way more than this but it's interesting to know)

MuchlyGen · August 2014

I know some women that lost weight ridiculously fast while BFing... I, on the other hand, belong to the lesser known subgroup that Cannot Lose Weight while BFing. I'm hoping this time will be different somehow, but with the first two babies, my body just /hung on/ to the weight until they weaned. I think it's the German in me. Like my body's ancestral memory was going "Just in case there's a rough winter and not enough meat and mead to go 'round, Imma gonna hang on to these rolls a little longer to make sure I've got reserves for this kid. Good plan." Sigh. Thanks body.

But yes! Start learning about BFing, if that is your intention. There's plenty of misinformation even in hospitals regarding how much baby actually needs, and what normal baby eating behavior is. It isn't anyone's fault, but the behavior between a FF and BF is different enough that nurses who are used to FF babies may think there's something wrong, or that baby isn't getting enough, when they actually are. Learn about supply and demand. Learn about the size of a baby's tummy (just about marble-sized when they're newborns - doesnt take much to fill that up!). If you're going back to work, start thinking now about you'll manage pumping (talk to your employers about pumping breaks, space to pump, etc). Having an idea of what to expect, and possibly finding support groups/La Leche League/an experienced mom to call on if you need help or encouragement can make a huge difference in the first few weeks.

Looking into soothing techniques may be good, too. Just so you have some tools in your arsenal for times when baby is fussy or having difficulty sleeping. I really like the advice in "Happiest Baby on the Block," and found some of it a lifesaver when my baby was teeny and I was tired. I'd already read the book so I had ideas for things to try. Share them with SO, too. I didn't do that enough with our first baby, and SO would get really frustrated when baby would calm for me but cry with him - sometimes that's inevitable, but I think dads really benefit from having some definite "tricks" to try, since they don't have the boobs to help them out.

MuchlyGen · August 2014

Oh! Also, not so much a "research" thing as it is just a tip, haha, but have olive oil on hand with your diaper supplies for the first couple days. Oil baby's bottom after a diaper change, so that sticky black meconium doesn't paste itself on. I didn't know that with baby #1 and LOL that stuff is like /tar/.

rahkitt · August 2014

To prepare for breastfeeding I highly recommend looking up videos on it and latching on on youtube. It helps so much to know what a proper latch looks like, how to tell if the baby is swallowing, etc. There really is no substitute for observing other mothers nursing, and in our society it's just not something you're going to be able to see much. I think that's a big part of why so many women have problems nursing.

silverwings72 · August 2014

rahkitt said:
To prepare for breastfeeding I highly recommend looking up videos on it and latching on on youtube. It helps so much to know what a proper latch looks like, how to tell if the baby is swallowing, etc. There really is no substitute for observing other mothers nursing, and in our society it's just not something you're going to be able to see much. I think that's a big part of why so many women have problems nursing.

Never thought about using YouTube for this! Thank you. Totally checking some videos out so I know what to look for.

wildflower75 · August 2014

kyliedaniellexx said:

MuchlyGen said:

Oh! Also, not so much a "research" thing as it is just a tip, haha, but have olive oil on hand with your diaper supplies for the first couple days. Oil baby's bottom after a diaper change, so that sticky black meconium doesn't paste itself on. I didn't know that with baby #1 and LOL that stuff is like /tar/.

That is GENIUS! Thank you!

Cocunut oil works well also!!

Maelara · August 2014

MuchlyGen said:

Oh! Also, not so much a "research" thing as it is just a tip, haha, but have olive oil on hand with your diaper supplies for the first couple days. Oil baby's bottom after a diaper change, so that sticky black meconium doesn't paste itself on. I didn't know that with baby #1 and LOL that stuff is like /tar/.

Vaseline (petroleum jelly) also works just fine. The hospital provided that for us.

jaminjeff · August 2014

This is random and probably won't apply to a lot if any people, but all my pension and retirement stuff was set up to go to my husband if I died and if he didn't survive, it was to go to my step-son. He was under age at the time. This was always fine with me so that I knew he was taken care of BUT I worried that if I didn't have it in place to split between step-son and my DS, then step-son's mom would be in charge of it all since it had originally been set up to go solely to step-son should we both pass.

I changed everything about 3 months before I delivered. If my husband passed, it all went to my father and mother. I knew they'd do the right thing, splitting it up if say DH and I were in a car accident, the baby had to be delivered and we both passed (I watch too much grey's anatomy obviously). And I couldn't name the baby until the baby was here and born, so it wasn't an option to include him.

Once he was born I set it up properly to be split between them.

Random and probably not necessary, but I had really bad anxiety and stressed about stupid things and this at least made me feel better.

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