April 2014 Moms

NA14R - etiquette ?'s re: pre-wedding parties

A friend is getting married and I have been invited to a spa day to celebrate with her. Is this a gift giving event or just a pre-wedding get together? We are having mimosas, etc. and then everyone pays for their own spa treatment of their choosing.

We were invited to an engagement party for another couple who we don't know all that well (distant cousins in my dad's wife's family). We are not going. I am under no obligation to send a gift, correct?

TIA!

 

Re: NA14R - etiquette ?'s re: pre-wedding parties

  • The first one sounds more like a Bachelorette type affair (not sure when the actual wedding is...) so not usually gifts although I would probably bring something on the down low that I could use after just in case, like a book store gift card so that if people weren't giving gift I'd could just keep it.
    And the second one I would say definitely not if you aren't close and aren't going.
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  • Thanks! I really wasn't sure about the first one. I wasn't planning to give a gift either way for the 2nd one so it's good to know this isn't totally out of line.

     

  • No gift on the first, I would on the second if you were closer, if you're not just send a card if you feel like being extra kind!
  • I would say no for both. If you're paying for your own spa day then I think it's more of a get together than a party. If it were a bachelorette or shower where you aren't spending money then yes, gift is probably expected.
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  • Gifts do not need to be given at an engagement party. It's fine if you do but should not be expected by the couple.
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