Interesting from WaPo

MommyAtty · August 2014

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/08/05/i-fed-my-newborns-formula-to-keep-them-alive-still-i-felt-guilty-about-it/?hpid=z10 I don't breastfeed. With #1, when I couldn't, I had horrible guilt. This time around, I'm comfortable with the decision. And frankly when I hear women who are really struggling, I have to fight to keep from saying, "You know it's okay to give up if it's not working for you, right?" I don't judge them, and I don't want them to think I am, but I often wonder if it's fear of judgment that keeps them trying when really it's doing them more harm than good. This article really makes me sad. When will we get past this judgy crap?

jess9802 · August 2014

That article made me ragey. And I breastfed for 19 months.

jlaOK · August 2014

My philosophy is happy mom = happy baby. I don't stress myself out about any parenting decision because it makes me not as good of a mom. BF vs FF should be 100% judgement free. Unfortunatley, it never will.

jtmomma13 · August 2014

I have no idea if it's because I just had a child this year or if it's because I never really paid attention but when did BFing and FFing become such a hot topic? Has it always been like this?

I feel like every day you have a new celebrity nursing in a magazine and talking about motherhood. You see articles like this on social media constantly.

And I am not sure why anyone cares.

Virgo17 · August 2014

This article is absolutely ridiculous. All 3 of my kids have been FF. My younger two had severe reflux which required special formula, so BF would not have been a great option anyway. I tried with my first, but it didn't work out. To be honest, BF was just not at the top of my priority list. I will say that I had no pressure from my family or my in-laws about it either way so that probably helped. This might be a FFC, but I do not understand why women feel the need to make themselves miserable in order to BF. If it works for you, then great. But I also believe that happy mom = happy baby and I know for myself, being the sole provider of food to my children would not have made me happy.

I also believe it is no one's business how someone chooses to feed their child. If everyone is happy and healthy, it absolutely does not matter. People need to find something else to waste their energy on.

MickeyM04 · August 2014

I just choose to basically ignore this whole BF FF debate, because it's sort of like everyone is just crazy in my opinion. The same way when I was pregnant, on the same day I would get one comment that I was so big, was I carrying twins, blah blah blah, and then an hour later someone would tell me how tiny I looked.

It's the exact same thing. BF moms are doing "the right thing" but we should only do it in a locked bathroom in our own house so no one has to see it or hear about it. FF moms are doing "the wrong thing" but please by all means feed your baby in public, because watching a baby take a bottle of formula is like the cutest ever. BF moms are doing "the right thing" but ewww, you're still BFing your 6 month old? Or, "Wait, you ONLY nursed 6 months? That's it??" FF moms are doing "the wrong thing" but hey BF mom, can you please switch to formula soon because it's weird that you still BF your 6 month old/8 month old/10 month old.

Literally, no matter what you do, you are wrong. BFing is wrong if it's not at home in your shower where no one can see it. BFing is wrong if it's past 6 months/1 year/2 years/whatever. FF is wrong because breast is best. The same way I am both the hugest and skinniest pregnant woman ever on the same day, no matter what you do, someone is going to be pissed off about how you feed your child. Well can I just say, I don't give a flying rat's ass what anyone thinks about how I feed my child.

BabyHope2013 · August 2014

I formula fed from day one. I felt judged at the hospital the day I delivered. And I felt judged a few times after out in public or even from my co-workers when I came back to work and they asked me why I wasn't pumping. Looking back, it was the best decision for me and my son. He is smart, healthy and a perfect little kid. I would and will do it the second time around for my next kid too. Whether you choose to BF or FF, you have to choose what is best for you.

mlee116 · August 2014

I BF for over a year and I'm proud of that. Not because it makes it me superior to anyone else, but because I worked hard at it and it was something that I enjoyed. I was judged, especially once DS hit the one year mark. But honestly, I could not care less about what other people think/thought. I didn't even entertain the person making comments by responding because it was absolutely none of their business and they don't get a say. Period.

I just don't get why people care so much about what other people do and why they think they have the right to question a mother about her decision to BF or FF. It is just ridiculous. Of all the ways you can fail at parenting, choosing to FF your child is not one of them.

itsmevkb · August 2014

I have always been a believer in feed your baby. I don't care if it's breast milk or formula, so long as they aren't dying from neglect.

What never ceases to amaze me is how I could go and tell some women that I was considering having an abortion and they would be super supportive and non-judgmental but if I dared to tell those same women that I've decided to have the baby but formula feed I'd get loads of disdain and judgment.

@catbenatar said it well with "my body, my choice." Although I might add, my body, my baby, my choice.

Beevol · August 2014

I get ragey about this sort of thing too and I breastfed my baby.

I have 6 aunts/uncles who would probably be alive today if my grandmother had had access to formula (third world country, she had a genetic condition wherein she never got her milk in with any of her kids and the only ones who survived were those who were born around the same time as one of her sisters' or cousins' kids who could be their wet nurse). I have a dear friend who couldn't be on her meds while breastfeeding so she made the healthy choice and fed her kid formula. I worked with a mom who had PTSD from childhood sexual abuse and emotionally could not breastfeed her kid.

So first off, as a mom who breastfed (and loved it), I feel very confident saying formula saves lives.

Second, breastfeeding is hard and super time consuming work. You need to have a lot of support to do it and even then it's just not worth it for a lot of moms.

Third, I'm with @catbenetar. What another human being decides to do with their body is not my business unless it is harming someone. Feeding your baby formula is so many miles away from harm that it makes me really angry that people feel they can pass judgement.

Our society makes a sport out of judging women, especially regarding their reproductive/parenting choices and it makes me so angry! Can we get back to judging women about important things like the ones who hover in public restrooms and leave their pee all over the seat?

*sparky* · August 2014

@MickeyM04‌ summed up why this topic makes me so ragey the best. No matter what someone is going to tell you you're wrong or judge you. And the fact that everyone is pro-BF as long as no one ever sees you doing it in public is ridiculous.

When I was in the hospital after delivering DD a LC came to visit me and was asking whether I BFed my first child and for how long. I told her I had for about 8 months. She says "well you really should have gone for 9 months because babies that are BFed for at least 9 months are smarter". Seriously? You're going to give me shit for how long I BFed my DS 9 years ago? I was so angry. And she never asked why I stopped at 8 months or anything.

Mustardseed2007 · August 2014

BabyHope2013 said:

I formula fed from day one. I felt judged at the hospital the day I delivered. And I felt judged a few times after out in public or even from my co-workers when I came back to work and they asked me why I wasn't pumping. Looking back, it was the best decision for me and my son. He is smart, healthy and a perfect little kid. I would and will do it the second time around for my next kid too. Whether you choose to BF or FF, you have to choose what is best for you.

I FF my DS from day 1 and now I'm EPing with DD. Even though nursing didn't work out this 2nd time, I have been able to pump and so I'm doing it, but I hate it, and it's like this irrational need I have to keep doing it. And I got and get comments from both routes actually. It's totally like I can't do anything right with feeding my kid. People are f'ing stupid.

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