Newbie & BAD BABY FEVER!!!

nikyasmith2011 · August 2014

Am I crazy. Me and my husband knew eachother 2 years before dating (and "dated" a couple months before going steady). We are both pretty old fashioned. I was 2 days shy of being 22 when we got married (he was 26). We got married on our 1 year anniversary of being together and we've lived together 10 months of those 12. We have both been seriously talking about having children, we are financially and mentally ready but I feel like everyone keeps saying "you guys need to wait, enjoy a few years of just you time" and while that might seem okay to both of us at the same time we are both really excited to start our own little family! He says "whatever happens happens" but I KNOW he's excited because well I know him, and secondly if he wasn't then he probably wouldn't randomly text me baby names he likes. Am I crazy for us only being together as a couple 14months and wanting to TTC?

sarahchrismck · August 2014

I don't think so. If you are both ready and able to support a child, I see no reason why you *have* to wait. DH and I have been married for almost 4 years, and when we first got married, we knew we both wanted to wait a few years and now we finally feel ready. I think it's so individual when a couple is "ready" to have a child. Good luck!

nikyasmith2011 · August 2014

Thank you! Before we got married we talked about how we really wanted a baby but we decided to wait...however since we've been married (not even a full 2 months) we can't seem to shake the fever! I admire your will power to be able to wait though! I agree I nonchalantly told my DH about 2 weeks ago that I'm ready to have a baby with him whenever he is ready whether it be hours from now or years from now and he seems like he is just as excited! Talking about starting our little family definitely makes me feel more connected with him and it's not the "honey moon" phase...honestly I don't think we've had a honeymoon phase per say lol. Good luck to you guys as well!

pippacricket · August 2014

I agree with @sarahchrismck‌, it's definitely a personal decision. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years and although I've had baby fever on and off since getting married, I knew that I also wanted to enjoys our lives as just the two of us for a while.

MitoRachel · August 2014

Welcome to parenting, where no matter what choice you make there will be someone who thinks you should have done something else! The only reason we waited until our first wedding anniversary to TTC is because of my health. I don't regret having kids while young (I was 23 and 25). Since both of you are on board and you have thought about the practical side, I say go for it!

deidraandjonathan · August 2014

I'm also hearing the "You need to wait" and "Take time for just you 2" a lot currently. My husband and I dated for about 7 years prior to getting married this past NYE. I just got off BC July 25th, so 7 months into our marriage. Do we love our alone time? Duh. But do we also want to move along with our plans to start a family? Yes. And I don't personally feel there's anything wrong with that. So we just nod and agree with the family members ..and then the DH and I go home and DTD like we didn't hear a word they said.

It's not their choice to make.

If you and your husband are committed and ready in all aspects, go for it! And don't worry about the critics. They're probably also the same one who will be telling you how to raise your child that they didn't think you should have just yet.

But I do have to wonder if by posting this are you also unsure and seeking justification from others? Not trying to sound mean--I know we're all a bit nervous here!

GL to you either way!!

nikyasmith2011 · August 2014

@deidraandjonathan No I personally could care less about anyone else's opinion on whether or not I should start a family now or wait. I guess I'm more curious if there's anyone else in a similar situation and how they're handling it.

@MandJS the only reason we moved in so quickly is because I already owned my own home, and he currently lived with his parents. My rent and utilities are only 350 (175 for him when we split it) and his parents were charging him 700 a month for rent & utilites and he was only there to sleep in his bed at night, so why not just save us all some money.

nikyasmith2011 · August 2014

@MandJS I couldn't remember if it was could care less or couldn't so I just guessed! haha...and I was meaning old fashioned in the way we would raise our kids

lifeonthehill · August 2014

I say go for it.

Right after our wedding we were told to wait. We openly told them our plan and they agreed a few years was a good idea. About 3 months ago everyone who wanted us to wait is "tired of waiting." I am tried of waiting but we have about two years before we will be TTC for financial reasons. Everybody seems to have an opinion. I told my aunt who is pressuring me almost daily to throw 20 grand my way and I would start TTC that night.

If you are both financially and mentally ready I don't see a reason not to.

paigeed · August 2014

H and I have been married a little over a year now and we never really had a timeline as far as when to have kids. I have been thinking about it the last 6 months and husband is still wanting to wait a little while.

When we talk about kids to other people the majority are telling us to wait as well. (We have been together 5 and a half years)

I understand they want us to soak up the alone time, and we are. I feel like the last 6 months since we have been talking about kids, and bought a dog, we have been getting a lot closer emotionally.

I guess I would just suggest not rushing it. Like omg we need to try next month. Have some long deep discussions and see how your relationship evolves and then you may feel even more ready! Just don't cheat yourself out of this bonding time with your H. This is a fun time considering the future of your family and talking it out more than once can be so valuable.

PrimRoseMama · August 2014

I would get a definite "yes, I want to have a baby" from him. I side-eye the "whatever happens happens" expression because it removes agency/responsibility for his part of the equation. Texting baby names isn't in any way the same as "I'm on board".

Have a talk & talk about the real issues. Medical care, daycare etc.

EricaNichole91 · August 2014

I am in a similar situation. I have a terrible case of baby fever! My husband and I have been married for 9 months, but have been together almost 6 years. We are (almost) 23. We would love to have a baby right now, but currently are not financially capable of doing so. But if we had the money we would definitely start trying! You have to do what feels right for you, don't worry about how anyone else wants you to do things.

Unknown · August 2014

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JPerez0619 · August 2014

No I think that's perfectly normal my husband and I have been friends for three years and dated 5 months it married and not want kids too(:

ArgyleBride · August 2014

I am sorry, but I do really believe that if you've been together only 14 months (or any amount of time you feel compelled to measure in months), you should wait unless you have a reason not to. At 22, what is your reason not to? And I do not say this a proponent of alone time or anything else for the parents, I say it as a proponent of preparing a solid home for your baby. Take some time to form a rock solid foundation for your kiddo. Waiting won't hurt and rushing might. Play it safe for baby's sake. Just my opinion.

laurabeth4you · August 2014

No, I personally will start trying next April with my husband. We have baby fever and it doesn't help that I am opening a maternity and baby store in my town. Super cute clothing for both mama and her baby. It's so tempting to have one now, but you are young. Do it!!