not sure if this belongs here, but.... The baby rabies are so bad today

Elangella10 · August 2014

My husband can not give me biological children, and we have to use a donor. Thats fine and all, but I just want to be pregnant right now more than anything. He does not understand how much it pains me to be childless right now. Instead, when I'm upset about it, he gets upset with me and it ends up in a fight. I am just so pissed off at him right now, not that he can't give me biological children, but that he can't see how pained I am. I went on facebook this morning to see several girls in their 20s...1 had a baby and decided it was too much trouble and put her up for adoption, one girl can not (and has been trying for a week) figure out who the freaking father is of her little girl, one girl announced she was pregnant and many others are planning the births of their babies or the first, second, third, etc birthday for their children. I'm happy for these girls, but I can't seem to NOT feel jealous of them. More than anything in the world I want to experience pregnancy and motherhood. We have 2 empty bedrooms in our house, waiting for a child to transform these empty rooms into a bedroom and playroom. I'm just pained and ranting and more than all the money in the world I want a child.

babywatermelon · August 2014

I agree a thousand % with @14whitney!

your DH is prob hurt right now, he needs YOUR support and love now more than ever!

pippacricket · August 2014

Well said, @14whitney‌!

cakeisgood · August 2014

How ever low you're feeling I can imagine your husband is feeling lower as he's the one unable to get you pregnant.
It must be an enormous burden for him to carry and I really feel for him.

pippacricket · August 2014

14whitney said:

BTW... is this the first time anyone else has ever heard the term "baby rabies"?

Yes. I'm not a big fan. It sounds scary. X_X

paigeed · August 2014

I agree with the other ladies here. I understand the need to have children of your own. It is a deep, personal decision you may have planned on all your life.

However, you chose to marry your husband for better or worse. This isn't something he can control because if he could he probably would react differently to you. He probably views your reaction as selfish and rude because there is NOTHING he can do about it. Quit rubbing it in his face.

Maybe it's time for the two of you to discuss other options. Sperm donation, adoption, etc.

Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. He really wants a baby but you are unable to bear children. How would YOU feel if he threw fits everytime you got defensive about the subject? This may also be a good time for the two of you to seek couples counseling to encourage good communication during this difficult time.

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

Elangella10 · August 2014

Ok. First of all, yes, I know the reason she put her baby up for adoption. She blasted it all over Facebook, and the one who can't find the father said "maybe I shouldn't have partied so much before the baby and I would be able to find the dad". And my husband and I do talk. Often. I do put myself in his shoes. Often. Usually I don't get so upset, but today I was just very sensitive.

If you don't like the term baby rabies, don't use it. The post was not about whether or not you liked how I titled my post...

pippacricket · August 2014

I'm not even gonna get into the whole baby rabies thing but you can't dictate other posters responses. It's a public message board.

Not everything posted on Facebook is going to be the full story or even the truth. What if there's more to this whole adoption decision that you're not aware of? Or what if the girl who can't find the father is just kidding? I don't know and I don't really care for an answer. Just giving you my take. Don't take everything posted on Facebook at face value.

Also, it's totally understandable to feel upset or jealous during your TTC journey but I think you need to reread what you wrote in your OP. You're getting defensive when all we have to go by is what you're telling us. What you wrote in your OP honestly makes it seem that you're acting like a jerk To your H. Specifically where you write that you are just so pissed off at how your H can't see how pained you are. Maybe that's not how you meant to come across, but that's how I interpreted it.

TTC is not just about you. It's about your H too. Hopefully things get better for you two soon.

Edited to fix a you're/your

pippacricket · August 2014

14whitney said:

Andplusalso this is not "harsh backlash". Consideraing you've only posted on two forums I am inclined to believe this is the "area" you're speaking of.

Elangella10 said:
Thank you all for being so kind I've had some harsh backlash on another area of The Bump. So I'm just going to stick here

El oh el! @14whitney has given you amazing advice and instead of saying "thank you", you post this passive aggressive BS? You're only proving my previous statement to be true. You're acting like a jerk.

babywatermelon · August 2014

14whitney said:
OP - I say this honestly, have you ever thought of a blog? My blog has helped me a ton.

@14whitney‌ would you be willing to share your blog? I'd love to read it!! ♡

Mysterious_wife · August 2014

Babies Rabies blog is already taken by Donkey.

Meery82 · August 2014

Quit being a selfish bitch towards your poor husband. And quit using the term "baby rabies". It's fucking hideous.

j&gmiller2015 · August 2014

I'm not going to comment on baby rabies or your husband, I'm going to comment on you. I have been having baby fever recently also. And I also feel like EVERYONE around me is pregnant. My husband and I aren't TTC until next year so the waiting is killing me. I also cant help but be jealous of people on FB and Instagram. I kept complaining to my husband about other peoples posts and so on. Then I just woke up and said...I lived before social media and I can live without it. This might be a bit extreme or something you might not even be interested in doing. But I just got off social media and focused on myself. We are trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle before TTC, so I put my focus on that right now. I'm not saying cut everyone out, but if you think it could help you not be so distracted by others people business, give it a try. It has worked for me and I don't miss it one bit. Hope this helps. Your time will come and it will be wonderful no matter how it works out

cakeisgood · August 2014

littleliverpill said:
@MandJS: David the Gnome!

For a trip down memory lane, I recommend watching the intro:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svkc2Q_rfzg

YES YES YES YES YES!

usernewname · August 2014

Maybe he's accep ted the fact he can't have a child. So now he has to understand having a child means someone else's child. Which is probably a lot to take in.

Many people can love and care for a child isn't theirs as genetics is just a thing and not a deal breaker (I can't find the proper wording for this - but I hope my point makes sense).

I agree with PP. Consider how he feels about it.

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not sure if this belongs here, but.... The baby rabies are so bad today

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