Parenting after a Loss

MIL question

So L is staying at my in-laws this Saturday because we are going to a wedding. This is only the fourth time he's stayed there but every time he does my MIL keeps him up past the time I tell her to put him to bed. For some reason she thinks his bed time should be 8:00. She makes occasional comments about how early she thinks his bed time is. To keep him on our schedule, I make sure he's in bed between 7-7:30. So even though I've always told her what time to put him down, when I get him the next days she always tells me she put him down at 8:00. I know it's one night and only a half an hour, but it irks me that she purposefully ignores my wishes.
Do you think I should say something more direct like "L's bedtime is 7:30, not 8:00. I know his sticking to a schedule may not be your top priority but it's important to me that he be put to bed on time".
Or should I just let it go?

Help!!!

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BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15

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Re: MIL question

  • I can definitely understand your frustration, but I tend to think it isn't worth making a big deal out of it. I think you run the risk of her saying she won't babysit. As PP said, she may even actually try to get him down by 7:30, but isn't as efficient with bedtime as you are.
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  • I would let it go. It is absolutely obnoxious and even rude if you ask me, but ultimately it isn't hurting your child. The thing that pisses me off about stuff like this is when you have to be the one to deal with the cranky kiddo after others disregard their schedule. But, since this seems pretty rare for you guys, it isn't worth it. If they were the caregivers or something, then it would be.
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  • Thanks ladies!! I know you all are right and I should just bite my tounge. It's only a half an hour and doesn't happen often. It is just so annoying because I can tell by the way she tells me what time she put him down that she's doing it intentionally. I will keep my mouth shut and try not to be too irritated!

    BFP #1 4/10/12 D&C 6/5/12@ 12.5wks EDD 12/17/12
    BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
    BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
    BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15

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  • I used to be a bit annoyed with other people not doing as I said, because obviously I am the mum and the one who knows the best! With the time I learnt to let go. Other people has different opinions and even though I still think sometimes it is not the best option, I have to be glad that she is taking care of my children. And, to be honest, more than once she has been right... She just also wants to take care as good as she thinks. And besides me and their dad, nobody is going to get better care of them, because she loves them very much. In my modest opinion I don't think she makes it for annoy you, I think she might do it because she thinks you are wrong and her way is best (which doesn't make it less annoying!! ) With the time, this little things are less and less important. I am glad for my MIL because she loves my children as much as I do and that is a blessing. 



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    Noah (2011) & Lily (2014)
  • @voplo‌ I think you're right! I feel like she thinks her way is best, she is also perpetually late so I can see why she wouldn't value sticking to my schedule. I guess the bottom line is she loves L and he's in good hands when he's there.

    BFP #1 4/10/12 D&C 6/5/12@ 12.5wks EDD 12/17/12
    BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
    BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
    BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15

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  • I would be annoyed too and would probably say something but not make a big deal out of it. That's just such odd behaviour!! Ughhhh I feel for ya Hun!! Xx

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