Preparing for Kindergarten DS doesn't want to go

Designermomma · July 2014

How do you get LO to come around and go to school. We went to the open house with him and he looked at the classrooms and he started crying and said let's go and pulled me tword the exit. It was really crowded. He got upset when I told him he would go to school there. Anytime we drive by it he says "there is YOUR school. I don't go there". He will go to public school for the first time for K. The daycare he is at (he loves) offers private K but I feel like its just delaying the drama another year when he has to go to public school anyway. Any advice would be appreciated.

neverblushed · July 2014

What you're seeing is not unusual for a kid starting kindergarten. Some kids, even if they've gotten past the toddler/preschool separation anxiety phase, go through another phase of separation anxiety sometime between age 5 and 6.

As I said in reply to a similar post below, don't engage in conversations about school for a while. 6 to 8 weeks in the life of a 5 year old can make a big difference. As the start of school gets closer and you have to begin talking about it more, stay focused on the positive. Think about one thing that he seemed to like most (or hate least) from the school visit. Remind him to look forward to that.

Just be matter-of-fact about school and don't reveal that you feel worried or "sorry" for him. If he senses that he's having an effect on your resolve, he will only ramp things up more. Starting K in the fall is non-negotiable, and he WILL adjust and enjoy his new school eventually. But of course, he's resisting the change right now because he's leaving a familiar setting and going to something bigger and less familiar. It's normal for kids to be ambivalent.

ss+el · July 2014

neverblushed said:

6 to 8 weeks in the life of a 5 year old can make a big difference.

This right here. DS goes back and forth from one day or week to the next about wanting to go to school. He also won't talk to any of his classmates when we run into them places. I think once it's time to go buy school supplies, he'll start to get more excited.

Designermomma · July 2014

I hope so. Thanks!

Designermomma · July 2014

An update: I just found a paper from the school counselor about preparing for the first day of school and it has a list of books to read that may help. I'm going to buy 3 of them and hope that helps at least talk about what he's afraid of. (The Im a Big Brother books got him do so a 180) The ones I'm looking at are "First Day Jitters", "Kindergarten Rocks" and "Counting down to Kindergarten". Any others you would reccomend?

janinekrause · July 2014

My daughter started K last year. As other PP said, I honestly wouldn't even talk about it until a few weeks before school. It will just add to both of your anxieties.

neverblushed · July 2014

We have Rosemary Wells "My Kindergarten" which is a little old fashioned, but a great book.

dearash · July 2014

So he loves the preschool he's at? Maybe he's just sad or upset to switched schools.

Designermomma · August 2014

Update: he hated the books and put them in the babies room. Wants nothing to do with them. We had to take him to kindy assessment yesterday and it went great! There is a new amazing daycare that opened by our house and I had just checked the mail and they had a big ad for it. DS saw it and said I want to go to THAT school. I told him they only pick up kids that go to that elementary. He's totally on board now if he goes to that new daycare after school. Whew! We scheduled a tour tonight.

neverblushed · August 2014

Yay! I'm so glad to hear this change in his perspective!

emberlee3 · August 2014

That's great! I was so stressed about getting DS to wear a uniform, and it turned out to be NBD. Kids are so unpredictable.

skategirl128 · August 2014

We read the book "The Kissing hand" by Audrey Penn. it was great for separation and I gave DS a small felt heart to keep in his pocket. I do this with my own class and works great! Other things we did was talk it up and reassure that things would be ok. Glad he's fine now though

Designermomma · August 2014

It's amazing how fast he is becoming independent. DS started his new schools yesterday and loves them! He was mad he had to go home from the daycare. He started taking showers now and wants to go into school by himself now. My baby grew up in 2 days!

neverblushed · August 2014

Yay! I'm so glad for you and for him! This is wonderful news!

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