S/O- Planned c-sections

mlee116 · August 2014

I guess this is a spin off from the Delivery Room post below, but if you are having a planned c-section, are you telling everyone when it is going to happen or waiting until afterwards to call everyone?

I'm probably going to end up having a RCS and I'm seriously thinking about not telling anyone when it is (except for my parents who will be watching DS) until after it is over and we're ready for visitors. If my IL's know, they will sit around waiting and then will be waiting for us in our room and will stay for the entire rest of the day. That's exactly what they did with DS and it was so awkward. They just don't take hints very well or understand the concept of privacy and I'd just like some alone time with the baby and DH without having them hovering over us. So I'm curious about what everyone else is doing!

MaineMama · August 2014

I tell everyone when its going to happen, but I also tell people that we'll text them when we get home. My parents watch the kids while we are in the hospital, and bring them the first day to visit and after that I want to be left the heck alone

FWIW, I usually discharge myself on the second day and go home. After my 1st section I only stayed in the hospital 12hrs total (obvs that was an AMA discharge) Its not that I dislike hospitals (I work there) but I dislike people hovering over me.

mlee116 · August 2014

MaineMama said:

I tell everyone when its going to happen, but I also tell people that we'll text them when we get home. My parents watch the kids while we are in the hospital, and bring them the first day to visit and after that I want to be left the heck alone

See that's another thing, I'd really like for DS to get to be the first one to meet his new sister. It's going to be such a special moment and a lot for him to take in so I'd like to have that time without a lot of other people there.

Southernpeach80 · August 2014

We will tell our families and friends we talk to regularly but we will definitely wait until the day of to post on FB. My parents or my MIL will be watching DS and will bring him up to meet baby girl before anyone else gets to see her in person.

kimba1976 · August 2014

We've pretty much told everyone as our date is already set, but we don't have any family in the area, so don't have to deal with overbearing in-laws.

It sounds to me like your husband needs to have a heart to heart with his parents about respecting your privacy and staying away until called. Recovering from a c-section is not joke and having to entertain family on top of that is ridiculous. If they refuse, then the nursing staff are usually more than happy to shoo everyone out of the room for you.

RayRay007 · August 2014

I have the same concerns about my ILs. If we schedule a c/s I don't know if we'll tell anyone. We might even send DD to daycare that morning so we won't need family to babysit.

RayRay007 · August 2014

mlee116 said:

MaineMama said:

I tell everyone when its going to happen, but I also tell people that we'll text them when we get home. My parents watch the kids while we are in the hospital, and bring them the first day to visit and after that I want to be left the heck alone

See that's another thing, I'd really like for DS to get to be the first one to meet his new sister. It's going to be such a special moment and a lot for him to take in so I'd like to have that time without a lot of other people there.

As I said above, I think we would send DD to daycare. When I'm out of recover, DH can go pick her up and she can be the first to meet the babies.

AllTheTeaInChina · August 2014

mlee116 said:

I guess this is a spin off from the Delivery Room post below, but if you are having a planned c-section, are you telling everyone when it is going to happen or waiting until afterwards to call everyone?

I'm probably going to end up having a RCS and I'm seriously thinking about not telling anyone when it is (except for my parents who will be watching DS) until after it is over and we're ready for visitors. If my IL's know, they will sit around waiting and then will be waiting for us in our room and will stay for the entire rest of the day. That's exactly what they did with DS and it was so awkward. They just don't take hints very well or understand the concept of privacy and I'd just like some alone time with the baby and DH without having them hovering over us. So I'm curious about what everyone else is doing!

Stop giving hints. YH needs to flat out tell them not be come to the hospital until they are called to come visit. And visits will be limited to 1hr or however long you want.

I don't think its fair to tell your parents when its happening but keeping IL in the dark.

allfalldown14 · August 2014

Everyone will know when my c-section date is, but I will be highly surprised if I make it that far as I went into labor before 39 weeks with both of my girls.

mlee116 · August 2014

AJIrishMama said:

Not having a planned c/s but I'll throw in my two cents anyway lol! I wouldn't tell anyone unless, like PP, I needed someone to watch an older kid. I would wait until we were home. Too many people get nosey and text or call a million times when all you're trying to do is get used to being a family. I was induced with DS and my in laws decided to announce to the world when I went to the hospital. It took 2 days for my son to be born so it was horribly obnoxious to constantly be pestered.

This is what happened with us too. I was induced on a Monday morning and we told them when it was going to happen but that they shouldn't plan on coming until Tuesday. Well, first thing Monday morning IL's showed up and were there the entire stay at the hospital. We'd tell them we wanted to rest and they should go get some lunch or whatever, so they'd go eat and thirty minutes they'd be back. My mom visited too, but she'd come for an hour or so and leave. To be frank, they have no social skills at all. We had to ask FIL twice to leave so the nurse could check my cervix. WTF wants to see that? MIL kept asking to come in with the LC when she was helping me BF DS. You almost have to be rude with them and part of me doesn't even want to deal with it.

I think y'all are right in that we are just going to stop hinting and tell them point blank not to come until we call them. And then having the nurses shoo them out once they've had plenty of time to visit is a good idea too.

Eora3 · August 2014

I will be having my second scheduled cs. Even with my first I made it clear that I did not want anyone sitting in the waiting room or bugging me with phone calls. I told everyone that they would get a phone call when we were ready for visitors. With my first o had an emergency cs and was not ready for visitors until the next day. I was still in pretty rough shape so I asked people to leave so I could rest if they didn't do so on their own.

With my last, my parents were watching my older son and I wanted him to be the first to meet the new baby. My husband and I spent a couple hours meeting the new baby and getting settled. We then invited my parents to bring my son by. We had everyone else visit the next day for an hour at a time. It was a much easier recovery for me but I still didn't want anyone camping out in the room while I was bleeding and trying to breastfeeding and getting checked by the nurses.

This is your birth experience. You will never get these first few days with your new baby again. Just tell people what you want! Tell them now and remind them later:
"We will call when we are ready for visitors."

"We would like some quiet time as a family to meet the new baby and get settled into the recovery room so we won't be having anyone in the waiting room this time."

"I need to rest now, but I appreciate you coming to visit. If you would like to come back tomorrow, please call DH so we can pick a time that works. Otherwise, we will call when we get settled at home."

nesenotes · August 2014

Since I'll need them to help with DD I have to involve them. Although I have a family full of boundary pushers and a DH that has a more the merrier personality so I'm sure people will be there an hour after my surgery. I'll just have to be cranky like last time and shoo everyone *cough MIL*

nesenotes · August 2014

@Eora3 I wish you could come be my spokesperson. It was a real shit show last time but that is mostly DH's fault. I always resort to bitching everyone out which makes me look so glamorous. ‌ I really hope everyone gets it this time after the shit show last time.

Also side question: I see that a lot of people say the second time is better than the first, I puked for hours last time and was so out of it I couldn't hold the baby for several hours because was shaking and heaving. Anyone have a better experience the second time with all that and the come down from anesthesia?

Eora3 · August 2014

I would seriously recommend talking about this with your DH and his family before the big day. Explain that you were not comfortable with how visits were handled last time and that you are going to do things differently this time. Tell your DH that if he won't help you enforce some boundaries, his family can wait to meet the baby after you are home from the hospital. He can go cart your older child back and forth from the hospital for visits so his family doesn't need to come to the hospital at all. Lay down the law now and save yourself the trouble later.

Also, my second cs was a million times easier than my first. My first was an emergency cs so it was a lot faster and they gave me a ton of anesthesia. I couldn't hold my son for a while either and my blood pressure dropped extremely low from all the drugs. The second time around, my recovery was pretty fast. I was able to hold my second son within minutes and had no issues with nausea or blood pressure.

You might want to remind your OB about how hard a time you had with the anesthesia last time. They may give you extra drugs to help with the nausea and adjust the overall dosage so you aren't so sick.

MaineMama · August 2014

nesenotes said: Also side question: I see that a lot of people say the second time is better than the first, I puked for hours last time and was so out of it I couldn't hold the baby for several hours because was shaking and heaving. Anyone have a better experience the second time with all that and the come down from anesthesia?

My first section was an emergency under general anesthesia, so I was stoned out of my gourd after...

My second one, I reacted like you, shaking and barfing. They gave me a low dose of Phenergan after and it really helped! And I had so much adrenaline that it did not make me sleepy till later.

Third section, I was fine. They gave me Phenergan in my IV just after the spinal was placed.

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