Not feeling sexy or attractive

emilypils · August 2014

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and health wise everything is perfect. But I'm starting to feel incredibly low. My husband hasn't shown any physical interest in me for about 4 months now. I'm already feeling very unsexy, but starting to realise that I must be repellent in his eyes! My self esteem is on the floor, and it's a pretty lonely way to feel. Any suggestions?

TheOtherJacobsons · August 2014

emilypils said:

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and health wise everything is perfect. But I'm starting to feel incredibly low. My husband hasn't shown any physical interest in me for about 4 months now. I'm already feeling very unsexy, but starting to realise that I must be repellent in his eyes! My self esteem is on the floor, and it's a pretty lonely way to feel. Any suggestions?

I am right there with ya. I say, it's time to love yourself some... *wink wink* *nudge nudge* say no more!

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

emilypils said:

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and health wise everything is perfect. But I'm starting to feel incredibly low. My husband hasn't shown any physical interest in me for about 4 months now. I'm already feeling very unsexy, but starting to realise that I must be repellent in his eyes! My self esteem is on the floor, and it's a pretty lonely way to feel. Any suggestions?

I would just like to say that the bolded like is not true - have you actually asked him? When I was honest with DH about how I feel, he told me that he is trying very hard to respect my space and comfort during pregnancy, and not trying to make me feel pressured into being sexual, because he doesn't know if I'm tired, uncomfortable, or in pain. So now he does a check-in a bit more, puts more effort into telling me that I'm beautiful, etc.

Also, if you feel unsexy, you may be projecting that outward. if you feel up to it, try putting something on that makes you feel sexy, donning some heels (if you can!), or whatever would help you feel sexy. Do it for yourself! If he picks up on this, great, if not, you still feel good about yourself!

Klavanga74 · August 2014

I agree with above. First, I feel the same way - most of the time I have no interest in sex and I feel like my body is crazy out of whack right now. My husband is not particularly forward no matter whether I'm pregnant or not, he usually waits for me to give him a very obvious green light, but especially now, he's just not going to initiate anything unless I give him a REALLY obvious green light. Like PP said, he's being respectful of my space and trying not to pressure me, which I am appreciative of.

emilypils · August 2014

I do still make an effort with my appearance. I wear heels (well, wedges) nice clothes, make up and do my hair. Admittedly, this effort is really due to the fact that I have a full time job at a good company, but I also have a 2 year old waiting for me at home when I return. So the comfys tend to go on straight away. It's when I see myself naked every night, slathering on the cocoa butter and massaging my puffy feet, that I see what he sees and just wish he'd give me a hug and say nice things.

MagentaMouse · August 2014

I mean...(and I know this is sorta flameworthy)...but pregnancy isn't the sexiest state, even if you're the type whose face and everything else doesn't also look pregnant. I don't know about anybody else, but I just look like a giant pasty pile of squish with a Pooh-worthy potbelly. But there's no way you're repellant to him - maybe his little manbrain is just saying, "welp, goal accomplished!" Evolutionarily speaking, that would make a lot of sense...

edited cuz I can't read

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

emilypils said:

I do still make an effort with my appearance. I wear heels (well, wedges) nice clothes, make up and do my hair. Admittedly, this effort is really due to the fact that I have a full time job at a good company, but I also have a 2 year old waiting for me at home when I return. So the comfys tend to go on straight away. It's when I see myself naked every night, slathering on the cocoa butter and massaging my puffy feet, that I see what he sees and just wish he'd give me a hug and say nice things.

I meant more in a seductive way in the evening when you are looking for your husband to find you sexually attractive, not a oh, I wear nice clothes to work way.

MrsSinner402 · August 2014

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

bumpuser10309732 · August 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

lmfao I'm sorry you made me laugh so hard! I know I'd get a boner ;-)

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

LOL now all I can think about is the truffle shuffle....

MrsSinner402 · August 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:

MrsSinner402 said:

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

LOL now all I can think about is the truffle shuffle....

That's pretty close to how I look. Facial expression and all!

DaniGrace89 · August 2014

None. But I feel you!
My husband loves my pregnant belly, tells me I'm a hot pregnant woman, and attractive in general. But I get it, he just doesn't want to have sex because I'm the vessel holding his baby (at a primitive level). And though I get it- I f'ing hate it!!!! Don't feel attractive at all.

KelliRR · August 2014

I just want to throw out there that your feelings are normal. I can offer advice to help you feel better, but first you should know that your feelings are valid. I was lamenting the other day that it's not that I feel fat; I look fat because maternity clothes are horrible! My favorite maternity thing is my swimsuit because you see that I'm pregnant not just puffy. That said, I'm super blessed that my hubby tells me how beautiful I look right now. It sounds like part of the reason you feel unattractive is because your husband isn't showing interest. I'm inclined to agree with others that if you find a way to make yourself feel sexy, and your're putting sexy out there, he will pick up on it and you will feel even more sexy.

bumpuser10309732 · August 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

LOL now all I can think about is the truffle shuffle....

That's pretty close to how I look. Facial expression and all!

damnit! now I'm cracking up again!

TheOtherJacobsons · August 2014

I posted this in yesterday's ransoms thread, but I think it belongs here instead.

Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass:

https://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk

golfingdarwinfish · August 2014

MrsSinner402 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

LOL now all I can think about is the truffle shuffle....

That's pretty close to how I look. Facial expression and all!

@mrssinner402

Video or it didn't happen!

JK

MrsSinner402 · August 2014

golfingdarwinfish said:

MrsSinner402 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

I embrace my belly. I take off my shirt and jiggle it in DHs face. And we both laugh, and I know I don't look like a super model, but I look damn beautiful because I'm growing a little human. Try that approach. Shirt off, jiggle in face, laugh. You'd be surprised how much better you feel.

LOL now all I can think about is the truffle shuffle....

That's pretty close to how I look. Facial expression and all!

@mrssinner402

Video or it didn't happen!

JK

I couldn't subject you all to that sexiness!

TheOtherJacobsons · August 2014

MrsCunningham22 said:

@TheOtherJacobsons‌ that video! I wish I could do a split like the dude in it
This is how I feel when having sex on top:

DH loves that ish

Holy shit, I almost spit my sprite all over my screen. Yup, that's pretty accurate.

Also, I love everything about that fabulous dude. WERK hunty!

TheOtherJacobsons · August 2014

)

I scrolled up and it got me again.

MrsSinner402 · August 2014

MrsCunningham22 said:

@TheOtherJacobsons‌ that video! I wish I could do a split like the dude in it
This is how I feel when having sex on top:

DH loves that ish

IT'S THE MAKINGS OF A KANGIRAPTOR!

BeanNut · August 2014

DH hasn't initiated all 3 pregnancies...sigh. I know he doesn't find me unattractive, I think he just has a weird mental block about it. So, my suggestion is to put the moves on him

...it's much harder for them to turn down then.

onelilroo · August 2014

MrsCunningham22 said:
@TheOtherJacobsons‌ that video! I wish I could do a split like the dude in it

This is how I feel when having sex on top:

DH loves that ish

OMG!! I literally almost just fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard!!! Ahhh.....

)

Laceyhelmer1683 · August 2014

Hahaha!! Omgosh I'm dying!!

andrieya · August 2014

@MrsCunningham22‌ darn it! Laughing so hard that tears and a little pee came out!

JessAnnJ · August 2014

I actually feel my sexiest pregnant but I guess I'm in the minority. DH finds the pregnant belly sexy too. We made a baby together. That's pretty amazing.

But, I am exhausted and sex is defininitly not on my mind. I work and have an 19 month old, so similar to you but I'm definitely not wearing heels and dessing up. Maybe he just knows how tired you are? My DH has been doing more around the house so he's more tired too. Definitely talk to your DH about it.

In the meantime try to change how you see yourself in the mirror. Your body is doing one of the most important things it can possibly do.

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