Napping at daycare

hordol · August 2014

This probably could go in the sleep thread but I thought some people who would have suggestions probably didn't lurk the sleep thread so I decided to create my own thread. (Sorry if none of that makes sense, I'm exhausted and my brain isn't working.)

So DS has always been a pretty terrible napper during the day. I can get him to sleep but I have to be very intentional about it, either holding him the whole time or making sure he is in a dark quiet environment free of any stimulants. Those are the only ways I've ever been able to do it. He started daycare yesterday and needless to say he has not napped more than 10 minutes either day.

The day care lady said that he is really unhappy whenever she has to put him down, and she has to often because there are other kids to care for. She said that we need to start holding him less so he can get used to it. I don't know that I agree with that but I really want to do something that will maybe help DS get along better when he's there. Not to mention that the first thing he does when he gets in the car to go home is fall asleep and crash for the rest of the evening. I feel like I never get to spend any time with my baby and then he is an overtired crank for the day care.

Any suggestions?? He NEEDS to sleep at daycare. I want to spend awake time with him in the evening before bed.

His night sleep sucks as it is and this isn't helping at all.

I know it's young yet for a true sleep training but I'm at a loss. We are in our trial period now and I'm terrified she will turn us away because he's too much work for her (<--maybe a little dramatic but still...)

Yogini6911 · August 2014

So he just started daycare yesterday? It'll take a few days for him to get used to the smells and sounds of the place plus all of the new people. Does he prefer to nap in a swing or crib or something else? If so share that info with the daycare folks so that they know. They are baby whisperers and will learn the baby's routine and what he likes. Give it some time. I know the feeling though...that first week of daycare was rough but it has gotten so much better.

hordol · August 2014

I guess you're right--it's too early to expect much yet. The daycare lady isn't very happy with it though, so it makes it feel more urgent. She doesn't allow the kids to sleep in a swing or bouncy seat...I offered to bring a swaddle or my Merlin suit but she said she'd have to find out what kind of consent form she needs before I can do that. I know the swaddle or Merlin suit wouldn't help though because I know the problem is everything that is going on.

kmos816 · August 2014

My LO is the same but has gotten better. To help her we stopped swaddling at home and started napping her in the crib before we started daycare. Maybe this weekend try one nap on the crib at home? I recently started bringing the Merlin suit and that has also helped. I also have instructed them to nap her every 90 min-2 hours and they are now following that.

AcaAwkward · August 2014

Do you use white noise at home? Getting our kids used to white noise is the best thing we've ever done when it comes to them sleeping somewhere other than home. It helps block other noise out and acts as a huge sleep cue. All that to say, could you bring in some white noise?

I'm not nuts about the "you need to put him down more" instruction...he's your baby; hold him all you want! Babies learn to soothe different ways with different people. My kids settle differently with me than they do with DH than they do with my mom, etc. It's HER job as his caretaker to learn how to soothe him her way at daycare!

hordol · August 2014

This is an in-home daycare. DS is the youngest, but there is another baby that is 8 months. I think the other few kids are 3 or 4 years old. We did a nap a day in the crib for a month prior to day care. Started rough, but was semi-successful in the end. He does like his sleep sheep with him. Don't know why I didn't think of that--I will send it with him tomorrow.

I will ask about the rock n play. I'm willing to buy one to keep there if it means he sleeps.

Tonight is the first night we are trying without the swaddle. Hopefully this will help him get used to it.

Laroo0220 · August 2014

No suggestions but I'm sorry it's been rough and this is def my biggest worry for when my LO starts daycare in a couple weeks. She doesn't nap well here so I highly doubt she will there either and I worry they will either just let her cry or she will not nap at all. Def send the sleep sheep and see if they can turn a fan on in the room. We have a loud fan going at all times in her room to try to drown out any noise.

RocksInTheWater · August 2014

@hordol Minnesota has recently implemented very strict rules for daycare providers regarding naps, which is why some daycares stopped taking infants. Licensed daycares are required to have the baby sleep in a crib for all naps. Nothing is allowed to be in the crib. You can sign a form about using swaddles but only until your baby starts to roll over. I think baby can use a sleep sack. Just mentioning all this because I'm pretty sure your DC provider won't be allowed to use a RNP or swing for naps. That being said, your provider should be understanding that babies take time to adjust to DC, including naps. Telling you to hold your baby less is nonsense. Hopefully she will be patient and find her own ways to get your LO to take naps. I'm positive your LO isn't the first baby she has had that didn't nap at first! I'm so curious how my DS will do with naps because he doesn't do well with noise either.

Laroo0220 · August 2014

@LoriMc12‌ they might not even be able to do sleep sacks now. Our dc provider was saying that the state told her the bottoms can get flipped up over babies face. Pretty ridiculous

hordol · August 2014

That makes sense @LoriMc12‌. DS will just have to learn how to sleep in those circumstances. He didn't do terribly without his swaddle last night but was still up multiple times, though that's normal for him.

cwm11985 · August 2014

(I didn't know there was a sleep thread). He will get used to it, it's a very new, very stimulating environment. My 2 year old is a fantastic napper; but the last few months while I was on Mat leave I've sent him PT to daycare (a place he'd never been-he had a nanny to himself previously). It took about 4 times of being there before he took a nap then he became one of their best nappers- they would have to eventually wake him up

so long story short: it'll come for your LO!

Mustardseed2007 · August 2014

The fact that she told you to hold him less so he'll sleep more and be better at daycare is making me side eye her big time. It's an old lady thing to say, not at all correct per current understandings of what infants need developmentally and emotionally.

nicole mackenzie · August 2014

I think she was out of line to tell you to hold your baby less. Not her kid.

I'm also concerned if she was so upset after ONE day? Is she licensed? Does she realize that it will take him time to adjust to dd? I'd ask what the ratio of kids to teachers is...

And it may be that it's a bad match for you.

RocksInTheWater · August 2014

Laroo0220 said:

@LoriMc12‌ they might not even be able to do sleep sacks now. Our dc provider was saying that the state told her the bottoms can get flipped up over babies face. Pretty ridiculous

I think the state should come over and put my baby down for a nap while I go to Starbucks for a few hours.

hordol · August 2014

Thanks everyone--things were better yesterday. He slept a little bit in the swing while she watched him (even though she's technically not supposed to allow that.) His sleep sheep helped, too. I dropped him off today and he was SUPER happy...kicking all over with big smiles when he saw his daycare lady, so that's good. I was a little jealous though haha.

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