Not Eligible for FMLA?

writerinpink · August 2014

A week after I accepted my new job, I found out I was pregnant. Now I'm nearly 13 weeks along and gearing up to tell my boss, who has been very nice up until this point. She has kids of her own, but they are now my age (mid to late twenties). I've been stressing out about asking for leave because I know I don't qualify for FMLA and my state (Michigan) has no other maternity leave laws. I'm basically going to throw myself on the mercy of my supervisor and HR. However, at this point I'm thinking sooner is better than later because I keep obsessing about it and honestly, I'm tired of being stressed about the situation. I'd rather get denied leave early and make plans rather than wait.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How did it go?

Above all, I really just need some support. My husband is going back to school in the fall and I'm afraid we'll be utterly broke if I'm fired while on leave.

michelle142 · August 2014

Generally, you can negotiate FMLA terms even if you don't qualify.

See what kind of leave your company will agree to and if they will hold your position until you return. It will likely be unpaid (most are anyway unless you're lucky), but you usually can negotiate the time off.

If you're a good employee and discuss things in detail, you should be ok.

Whatever they agree to, get it signed and in writing.

writerinpink · August 2014

Thanks @michelle142. I'm planning to get what is agreed upon in writing, especially after reading so many stories of women who fired after employers went back on verbal agreements.

mahalo3 · August 2014

I would go ahead and talk to your boss. I don't qualify for FMLA either, and my boss is still working with me and holding my job. I say just be honest, work as long as you can or are allowed to, and hopefully they will hold your job, FMLA or not.

Hernsy · August 2014

Do you do the type of job where you could work remotely? Could you offer to be out a shorter time and work from home for a the other weeks until you can get your child in daycare? Maybe if you sound open to help work around their needs as well they'll take that as you are committed to them as much as you want them to be committed to you.

I'm eligible for FMLA, but like you, DH has been in college. DH graduates in December and I don't know where we'll be in February, financially. My job does just fine with our bills and a little more and DH works a part time job that he can go full time until he finds a job that he went to school for, but I don't really know how that will work come February. My vacation and sick time will pay for my salary for 6 weeks, but my job said if all was going well with the baby I could work from home remote for the last 6 weeks and pull my full salary. Maybe something like that would work?

jennypolkadots · August 2014

Most employers that I know of are happy to help figure something out. I don't qualify for FMLA either because we only have 7 employees at our work site and corporate is far far away.

Thankfully, I work with all men and they seem to be pretty "do what you need to do" about the whole thing. I'll be working sparingly for home during 6 weeks paid leave, then returning with a flex schedule (working some from home, some in office, bring baby with me some days, etc.) until he or she is 6 months old. I'm going to be breastfeeding so that will require pumping breaks and I think they would prefer me to just leave or be at home instead (men!

) But I only work 6 hour days with a 1 hour lunch anyways even though I'll full time/salary with benefits. We just don't have long business hours and it's very relaxed. The biggest issue is I am the accountant and no one else knows my job, so I will have to stay on top of things and work hard in advance. Hopefully this little one does not come early!

You will figure it out. Just talk to her

MapleMomma · August 2014

I agree with pp's. I work in HR in Michigan. We would just give you the 6-8 weeks medical leave unpaid and hold your job.

schnitz9 · August 2014

sarabell52 said:

I will qualify for FMLA starting Feb 19 2015. Baby is due Feb 23rd, so depending on when he/she actually arrives, I may or may not qualify. I plan to discuss with my company. I'm also working to be a critical part of my team so that there's no choice but to allow me to keep my job. We'll see. There are no guarantees in life. Last time I was laid off in my third trimester. That sucked!

In the exact same position. I qualify feb 17th. LO is due feb 16th. HAHAHAHA. My dumb luck. Already spoke with the president of the company and he was soooo nice about it told me no problem. He really wants me back and will do whatever it took he said. I'm in sales and am the top seller in my group. My philosophy is if you are really good at what you do they would want you back no matter what. We agreed that I would leave feb 1st and work from home until the baby is born. Come back may 15th and work from home if I had to as well. I've always had the work ethic of making them need me more than I need them. In this case it is really paying off. If you're a good employee there shouldn't be an issure

KMommytobe · August 2014

sarabell52 said:
I will qualify for FMLA starting Feb 19 2015. Baby is due Feb 23rd, so depending on when he/she actually arrives, I may or may not qualify. I plan to discuss with my company. I'm also working to be a critical part of my team so that there's no choice but to allow me to keep my job. We'll see. There are no guarantees in life. Last time I was laid off in my third trimester. That sucked!

I got laid off at the start of my third trimester with my first. I was super upset about it but DH was actually thrilled. I wasn't going back to work anyway (becoming a SAHM) and I was able to get some unemployment pay for a while which really helped us transition financially from me working to staying at home. It all works out.

Frugal11 · August 2014

@jennypolkadots I work with a WHOLE buncha women....ahhh you are so lucky!!

jennypolkadots · August 2014

@Frugal11 - I know and it is so stereotypical but really, they are just sort of weirded out I think. The only upsetting thing is both of my bosses have wives who stay home even though their kids are grown, and so I have gotten some prodding that seems they expect that I will probably leave. It is so sexist and pisses me off but I have had to mention several times already that I really have no plans to quit working. My husband hasn't gotten any of the same remarks, of course.

Frugal11 · August 2014

I guess there is always 2 sides. My bosses are pretty supportive but you men are just a whole other type of category, they can be jerks or super awesome!

sweetdreamz6700 · August 2014

A few years ago my dad got really sick so I had to fly home immediately. I expected to stay a week or so but ended up staying with him for 3 months. I had only been with my company 6mths when that happened so I did noy qualify for FMLA. I kept my supervisor informed and checked in every few weeks. He was more than happy to keep my job for me after that. Definitely talk to HR and the sooner the better.

StephanieLBerg · August 2014

I am in your exact situation, however, my boss found out from one of my nurses opening her big mouth in front of her, so I really didn't have time to prepapre for her reaction or anything. I don't qualify for FMLA either and Nevada doesn't have any other maternity laws as well. Ever since my boss found out, she's been treating me like garbage. Accusing me of breaking confidentiality agreements, not following protocol, bagging on me for my weight and how my body looks, telling me that my husband can't bring me lunch during the day because it violates the confidentiality agreement. And when I talk to her about these things in person, she tells me everything is fine. But then after she leaves and gets home, then she calls me to tell me that there really is a problem. She won't discuss anything with me about it to my face, I don't know why.

After she found out about my pregnancy, she's been stressing about finding some part time help because apparently "I'm going to need some extra time off later in my pregnancy" and then she told me that her plan was to hire someone for my job, and to shove me into the part time position, which would only give me 8+ hours a week. I told her no, that I was not ok with that. With the fact that my hubby is currently seeking work, my paycheck is all we have. I couldn't afford to be without the hours. I thought about it for a night and then called her back the next day and said, "I spoke with my husband last night and the bottom line is, I need a full time job. Do I have one here, yes or no? Because if I don't, then I need to start looking for another job." She just laughed at me and responded with, "well your hands are tied because who is going to hire you knowing that you're pregnant? And believe me, you'll have to put me down as a reference and I WILL tell everyone who calls for a reference for you that you are." I was flabbergasted! And ever since then, she has been picking on me left and right for crap that is petty, none of which applies to me, has anything to do with me, or is even in my job description. Sadly, I still work for this person, and will continue to work for this person until my maternity leave. I fear every day that when I go on my ML that I will come back to not having a job here. So, all I can pray for is my hubby finding a job that will pay at least $35k per year so that I can just be a stay at home mom working a part time job from home.

Now, with my story out of the way, if I were you, I would plan for every possible scenario to go down concerning your boss and the head of HR. I am not saying that you will have to deal with the same nightmare as I am, but it's best to hope for the best and plan for the worst. If you have any idea or feeling that your job will no longer be safe, start putting money away now for when you leave on ML; just in case. That's what I am trying to do, though its difficult to do on one paycheck that isn't even enough to pay all the bills each month, but I'm making it work. Hopefully, everything will be fine and your boss and HR will completely understand. I hope it works out for you. Good luck!

writerinpink · August 2014

@StephanieLBerg I hope that you seek legal counsel. Harrassment for being pregnant is illegal. Your boss is completely out of line. I would make sure to document everything she says and report her to someone higher up. If nothing else, a lawsuit that costs the company money would set her straight.

That said, I wish you luck with your situation. I'm trying to be positive and yes, I'm trying to prepare for every possible scenario. I'm in a similiar situation. I just started work, but my husband is in school still. He went back to be a nurse and I want him to be able to finish, but my income will be our main source if that's the case. I'm hoping to tell my boss after my first trimester. She's very supportive it seems. I even mentioned I had a few doctor's appointments this month and as long as I make up the hours, she seems okay with it. I work with all women and half of them are nuns, so I'm hoping that they will be understanding.

kavydz · August 2014

As stated above, that's illegal harrassment, I'd go above your boss with documented conversations (date, time, what said)... This is one of the most ridiculous cases I've heard! If we don't stand up for ourselves, woman's rights will continue to be a problem. Also, you need to document it above your boss and give your company a chance to deal with the problem before you bring legal action.

jennypolkadots · August 2014

@StephanieLBerg - if all that is true, you need to get a lawyer. That is so incredibly illegal. Not only can you not be demoted for pregnancy, or fired for pregnancy, but her berating you and essentially threatening your livelihood is so out of line.

What is this person like? Do you think she is jealous of your happy news? Could you approach her from a different angle?

Do you have witnesses that would stand by you in a case to HR or a lawyer? Emails, texts, or voicemails? Or record your convos with her. Otherwise it is just her word against yours and I have heard of plenty of cases where employers fire pregnant women for some dumb reason they found that is not related to pregnancy just to get off the legal hook. Tread carefully, but get legal help for sure.

StephanieLBerg · August 2014

kavydz said:
As stated above, that's illegal harrassment, I'd go above your boss with documented conversations (date, time, what said)... This is one of the most ridiculous cases I've heard! If we don't stand up for ourselves, woman's rights will continue to be a problem. Also, you need to document it above your boss and give your company a chance to deal with the problem before you bring legal action.

Sadly, she IS the highest boss. I've been documenting it, all of it. And I'm not the only one who knows. My other coworker knows as well, so if she does try anything more than the crap she is pulling now, she's going to be super sorry she did. I don't mind her picking on me, I can take my licks, and its definitely not the first time I've been called fat or had someone make some blatantly rude comment about my weight, and it certainly won't be the last. My biggest concern is the shenanigans she may pull when my leave comes. According to the FMLA, they just have to save A job for me. Not my EXACT job. So I may come back to find that I've been thrown into the part time slot and the part timer that we hired will have been given my position, which is totally legal here as long as I keep my same rate of pay. THAT'S what I'm mostly concerned about concerning her at this point. I could care less how she treats me, I just need to know if my job is safe or not. If it isn't, which I'm getting the distinct feeling its not, then I need to plan accordingly.

writerinpink · August 2014

This is just sad. I wish that the U.S. would fix FMLA. We're the only first world country with such terrible parental leave laws. It makes you wish you lived in Norway or France. Women in general and Men should not have to stress out about missing work because of children being born or getting sick.

StephanieLBerg · August 2014

I hear ya! Most of our laws suck, and our way if handling things like health care, higher education, and the national debt make me want to defect to Finland. Some days, I just wish I was a zebra, then I'd have nothing to worry about!

mle11 · August 2014

Another thing to take into consideration is the ADA/ADAAA. If and employee's medical condition meets the definition of a disability as defined by federal regulations, which childbirth and recovery from childbirth usually does, your employer has to reasonably accommodate you. One of the reasonable accommodations under the ADA is leave. So, if your doctor certifies that you will be disabled for 6-8 weeks (the typical amount of time doctor's certify for recovery from childbirth) your employer should be granting you leave as a reasonable accommodation under the ADA. Moreover, the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission), which is the entity that enforces the ADA, recently came out with new direction for employers that tells them they should be working to reasonably accommodate pregnant employees regardless of whether their "condition" meets the definition of a disability; i.e. for temporary modified duty, a reduced work schedule, etc. Your employers, as long as there are at least 15 employees, should be taking the ADA and direction from the EEOC into consideration during your pregnancies and during the time you need to be out following the birth of your child. I've worked in HR, directly with leaves of absence laws and workplace accommodations, for the last decade or so, and have first hand knowledge that the EEOC takes very seriously employers who don't do everything they can to accommodate pregnant employees where it concerns helping them to be able to continue performing the essential functions of their job, and during the time they need to recover from childbirth. I completely agree that U.S. parental leave laws need a massive overhaul!

one2andnow3 · August 2014

@writerinpink I do to have any advice but just want you to know I am thinking of you.

My DH is also going back to school and I work two jobs so I can save a little extra money. I am self employed or contract worker so no fmla either.

MapleMomma · August 2014

mle11 said:
Another thing to take into consideration is the ADA/ADAAA. If and employee's medical condition meets the definition of a disability as defined by federal regulations, which childbirth and recovery from childbirth usually does, your employer has to reasonably accommodate you. One of the reasonable accommodations under the ADA is leave. So, if your doctor certifies that you will be disabled for 6-8 weeks (the typical amount of time doctor's certify for recovery from childbirth) your employer should be granting you leave as a reasonable accommodation under the ADA. Moreover, the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission), which is the entity that enforces the ADA, recently came out with new direction for employers that tells them they should be working to reasonably accommodate pregnant employees regardless of whether their "condition" meets the definition of a disability; i.e. for temporary modified duty, a reduced work schedule, etc. Your employers, as long as there are at least 15 employees, should be taking the ADA and direction from the EEOC into consideration during your pregnancies and during the time you need to be out following the birth of your child. I've worked in HR, directly with leaves of absence laws and workplace accommodations, for the last decade or so, and have first hand knowledge that the EEOC takes very seriously employers who don't do everything they can to accommodate pregnant employees where it concerns helping them to be able to continue performing the essential functions of their job, and during the time they need to recover from childbirth. I completely agree that U.S. parental leave laws need a massive overhaul!

This is all very accurate information. As a fellow HR person, I agree wholeheartedly that what is happening to you is wrong. I also second starting to record conversations with your boss.

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