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Why cant he just understand?..

mommadarbs21mommadarbs21 member
in 1st Trimester
Having a hard time with my boyfriend, try and explain my bad days, and my moods, all the ups and downs, and he just doesn't get it. I just feel so frustrated that the one person I want to understand me just doesn't seem to...
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Re: Why cant he just understand?..

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  • AlygohomeAlygohome member
    Maybe you aren't understanding him
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  • UnknownUnknown
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  • mommadarbs21mommadarbs21 member
    Sorry for posting anything..
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  • KMommytobeKMommytobe member
    edited August 2014
    I would try buying your BF a book on pregnancy. There are some out there specifically for dads to be too, but even some of the regular ones have "tips for dad" or will explain what you may be going through. Maybe if he reads it out of a book he will understand how you are feeling a little bit more.

    It is hard for dads at first because they don't physically feel any different. They aren't experiencing the change in hormones or the aches and pains and fears. It takes longer for them to connect to the baby or really understand the change until they see your body changing, feel baby move, or when baby is actually born. At least this is what my hubby and guy friends have told me! GL!
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  • brianagabriellebrianagabrielle member
    Try to sit him down with a book or pull up a website and show him exactly what you're going thru and why. Guys can be insensitive and clueless, my boyfriend doesn't really get it much either but keep communication open with him thru everything. Eventually he will learn!
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    @AR1313  Op pops in and uses this site as her personal blog.  She only ever responses to her own posts, if she even responds at all (which rude to those who took time out to respond to her) .  She offers zero support to others but wants support.  That type of thing rubs people the wrong way.  You get what you give. 

    Another thing that rubs people the wrong way is someone telling others how to post. Find a rock and go kick it.   

    Welcome to pregnancy girls.  No man is going to "get it".  I can explain how it feels to grow a person to my DH till Im blue in the face but he'll never know how it really feels.  Some SOs are more sympathetic and understanding than others but, not even the best of them are going to "get it'.  
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    AR1313 said:

    mommadarbs21--You shouldn't be sorry for posting. That's what this is for. Your concern is valid. Some people on here are just rude or are having a bad day when responding...I don't get it but there are a lot of weird ass people on here. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything AT ALL! 


    Anyways, your boyfriend just probably thinks you are complaining for no reason. They don't really know how it feels to be pregnant. My husband does listen to my complaints and shows he cares but sometimes he'll say "oh it cant be that bad" but i don't blame him for saying that. He really doesn't know how it feels and it's not his fault. 
    Um? How is calling us "weird ass" & "rude" at all in line with your rules? You haven't said anything nice here.


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  • KdeandaKdeanda member

    My husband had friends who were also expecting during our first pregnancy. This helped tremendously! He was able to compare notes with the guys on the preggos. Also, actually seeing and hearing me throw up def convinced him that I was not feeling well. This time around, he gets it and is way more supportive. It takes time. But you have to understand, it is annoying to hear someone complain all day. And this is true about any topic. The first trimester is just a little give and take on both ends. The second trimester should hopefully be better. Good luck!

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  • mommadarbs21mommadarbs21 member
    All I was trying to say not having the same understanding from my boyfriend now then from before I was pregnant is just something I'm struggling with so I thought it best to get the support of other woman on this site who have maybe gone through the same thing.
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  • supermommy2bsupermommy2b member
    Hun, I'm on the same boat. My boyfriend thinks I'm being over dramatic towards everything but they never understand what it is exactly we are going through and this is why we have the ladies we have in the group. Take deep breaths and relax. There is some rude people here but that doesn't mean the rest of us are. Inbox me if you ever need to talk.
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    supermommy2b said:
    Hun, I'm on the same boat. My boyfriend thinks I'm being over dramatic towards everything but they never understand what it is exactly we are going through and this is why we have the ladies we have in the group. Take deep breaths and relax. There is some rude people here but that doesn't mean the rest of us are. Inbox me if you ever need to talk.
    @supermommy2b You must be new here.  It was explained to her pretty clearly why she isn't endearing herself to anyone.  If she went to her BMB with these same kind of posts she'd get a much harsher reaction.  
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    AnnaTTCat32 said:

    I'm a little late to the party here, but for those of you ladies bemoaning how your SO "doesn't get it," I have two points to contribute:

    1.  He couldn't possibly understand what it's like to be pregnant the same way you can't possibly understand what it's like to have a boner. 

    2.  Maybe you need to consider that you ARE being a little melodramatic, hormones or not. 

    True story, back in the day I would ask my husband (then boyfriend) how it felt to have a boner more times than I should probably admit to.  I also had a hundred questions about pregnant bellies until I got one of my own. 
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  • kaylatanyakaylatanya member
    edited August 2014
    Tell me about It.

    My boyfriends assistant at work just had a baby and he gets so irritated anytime I mention my symptoms because he says he just finished hearing her complain about the baby for 9 months.

    Biatch totally ruined it for me lol.

    Although she was very dramatic about the whole situation and let it affect her work a lot. So I see where the is coming from but still I want sympathy from him!!!!
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  • haboobtihaboobti member
    Ignore all the negative feedback , I had the same problem with my husband, still have that problem sometimes because he dosent feel what u feel and may get frustrated because it's not an easy fix, and lasts for weeks (well it did for me) but try to keep the communication strong, when my husband saw the ultrasound with me at 11 weeks and the baby actually looked like a baby ( a very cute one I might add ) it became real, he needs to see a difference maybe because he might think ur just being moody...be patient because it does get better I promise!!! Hope this helps, and don't feel shy to share how u feel this is what this app is for, it's just some ladies that leave negative comments must be moody, hahaha they are all pregnant too hahaha
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  • jacqueleen1jacqueleen1 member
    Buy him the book " Dude your gunna be a dad - how to get you and her through the next 9 months" My husband is currently reading it and its helped him understand some of my moodiness and symptoms. Good luck 
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    Married May 2011 
    Me 27 -- DH 31 
    Loving parents of 2 beautiful chihuahuas 
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  • AR1313AR1313 member
    "Our community" hahahahahaha what a stupid comment! This is free site for everyone to visit. This is not just for those moody ones making rude comments (Even though you might think so). How about making a forum where you can bitch about everyone else since obviously there is something wrong at home and you are letting it out on strangers! 

    I'm not telling anyone what to do on here. But obviously there are a lot of immature people on this site. I can't believe some of you actually have kids and act like this....that's a shame...poor kids they won't know any better!

    And kyliedaniellexx I dont need you to teach me how to tag people. I understand that you are probably the oldest one here and you think you know it all but from reading some of your posts, you don't know what you are talking about. 
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    AR1313 said:
    "Our community" hahahahahaha what a stupid comment! This is free site for everyone to visit. This is not just for those moody ones making rude comments (Even though you might think so). How about making a forum where you can bitch about everyone else since obviously there is something wrong at home and you are letting it out on strangers! 

    I'm not telling anyone what to do on here. But obviously there are a lot of immature people on this site. I can't believe some of you actually have kids and act like this....that's a shame...poor kids they won't know any better!

    And kyliedaniellexx I dont need you to teach me how to tag people. I understand that you are probably the oldest one here and you think you know it all but from reading some of your posts, you don't know what you are talking about. 
    LMFAO!  @AR1313 But we are the rude immature ones.  Oh Brother.  
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  • TwiggymommyTwiggymommy member
    @kyliedaniellexx‌ I was born in the 90s too, we should totally go live in a senior center together.

    @AR1313‌ saying "your poor kids" or anything of the like is just adding fule to the fire. It's never gone over well before and it's not gonna go over well now. If we're all so rude here, then go join another site. I hear baby center is full of fluff and rainbows :)
    Supermom to my beautiful boys Troy Marshall and Griffin Xander 

     Living the dream with my wonderful man :)
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  • janda426janda426 member
    AR1313 said:

    "Our community" hahahahahaha what a stupid comment! This is free site for everyone to visit. This is not just for those moody ones making rude comments (Even though you might think so). How about making a forum where you can bitch about everyone else since obviously there is something wrong at home and you are letting it out on strangers! 


    I'm not telling anyone what to do on here. But obviously there are a lot of immature people on this site. I can't believe some of you actually have kids and act like this....that's a shame...poor kids they won't know any better!

    And kyliedaniellexx I dont need you to teach me how to tag people. I understand that you are probably the oldest one here and you think you know it all but from reading some of your posts, you don't know what you are talking about. 
    What a surprise, it's always the randoms who only come out to play when there's spewing hatred involved...

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  • katie0919katie0919 member
    edited August 2014
    Man, if she thinks you 90's kids are old, what's she going to think of me? Fucking grandma over here born in the late 70's. I'm 184 years old and trying to get pregnant!  

    Obviously, I don't know "know it all" since I'm trying to have a baby at my old ass age, right?!
    Aye yi yi...
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    image


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  • TwiggymommyTwiggymommy member
    14whitney said:

    90's kid here. Can you save me a spot at the community center?


    Do you want me to get you some bingo cards and knitting needles too? Maybe an oxygen tank?
    Supermom to my beautiful boys Troy Marshall and Griffin Xander 

     Living the dream with my wonderful man :)
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  • TwiggymommyTwiggymommy member
    @14whitney‌ yay! Well totes be the most popular girls at the center.


    This is why I love first tri!
    Supermom to my beautiful boys Troy Marshall and Griffin Xander 

     Living the dream with my wonderful man :)
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  • TwiggymommyTwiggymommy member
    kyliedaniellexx said:

    @Twiggymommy‌ @14whitney‌

    Race down the main center hall, 3pm tomorrow. (I should be up from my nap by then)

    image

    Oh dude.... I'm gonna kick ass... I just have to go steal a scooter from someone because all I have is a stupid Walker...
    Supermom to my beautiful boys Troy Marshall and Griffin Xander 

     Living the dream with my wonderful man :)
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  • TwiggymommyTwiggymommy member
    You're gonna have to beat me too it. I'm gonna skip the baileys in my coffee in the morning just so I can make it there for his nap time.

    I seriously need to go to sleep. But I can't help myself.
    Supermom to my beautiful boys Troy Marshall and Griffin Xander 

     Living the dream with my wonderful man :)
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  • alexesq33alexesq33 member

    THAT"S MY FAV LAW & ORDER EPISODE EVAAAAAAAAAH~!!!>!

     

    sorry for hijacking

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  • alexesq33alexesq33 member

    janda426's reply

    duh

    Elliot taking his shirt off mmmmmmmmm

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  • KdeandaKdeanda member
    lmao. hilarious. You ladies are awsome!
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  • AR1313AR1313 member
    edited August 2014
    PATHETIC!!! 

    I'm out of here...not in the 1st trimester anyways.
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  • TwiggymommyTwiggymommy member
    Haha now we're old and pathetic! Well at least ifI hit her with my stolen scooter I can just play it off like I'm senile (sp?)
    Supermom to my beautiful boys Troy Marshall and Griffin Xander 

     Living the dream with my wonderful man :)
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