SAHM Check-in 8/5

Meghan14 · August 2014

A happy Tuesday to you all.

What were your successes this week?

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?

What helped save your sanity?

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household?

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.

Meghan14 · August 2014

What were your successes this week?

Survived having a mildly sick baby and hosted a successful, although very casual, dinner party.

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?

I mentioned on the randoms MIL is driving me crazy. After 10 years of a great relationship with her, her opinions about baby related things are getting to me. 1. She tells the same stories/advice over and over. 2. She thinks making our own baby food is "silly." 3. She doesn't understand how wearing LO to do errands can possibly be easier than putting the car seat in the cart. 4. 100 other things.

What helped save your sanity?

We have activities lined up for almost everyday this week. Plus out of no where DH told me how much he appreciates the effort I put into the house. It was nice to have this recognized.

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household?

In terms of covering expenses we are ok. We've cut back on big extras, but are luckily doing well affording needs and small wants. However, I had a lot of concerns about giving up my financial independence to stay home with LO. Growing up my parents fought a lot about money. They both worked and my mom made almost as much as my dad. She's a huge yard saler and would hide her purchases because he would bitch when she spent the money. I'm talking like $11 here. I decided as a teenager that my partner and I would always just manage our own money. This is how DH and I always handled things. Giving that up was hard. Rationally I know I am contributing to the family in a new way now and am still entitled to buy a little something for myself, but I still struggle with this. DH grew up with a SAHM who is a big shopper and so he doesn't expect justification, but I feel like I need to justify why I bought a shirt at Target. I'm mental.

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

My favorites as a small child were "Green Eggs and Ham" and "Who's Mouse Are You?". When I got a bit older I loved "Ramona" and "The Boxcar Children." To read to LO my favorites are "Guess How Much I Love You" and "I Love You Stinky Face." With my nieces I really liked "Fancy Nancy."

Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.

I just cannot thank you ladies enough for all of your support last week. It meant so much to me.

Unknown · August 2014

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Karlamo · August 2014

@armfruit‌, I'm solo parenting this week too. Saturday can't come soon enough.
AFM, biggest challenges are having contractors at the house doing work while I take care of LO and make sure my 2 cats don't escape outside. I'm so ready for it to be done.

Another issue is that R seems to be having night terrors. He's asleep but crying out and it breaks our hearts. I even woke him up once just to stop the crying. Anyone been through this?

My sanity saver is my sister is staying with me this week so I have some adult company. Being in the new house alone weirds me out right now.

QOTW: We of course love mama, mommy and me. Dr Seuss is also a favorite. I realize at his age the books need to be short and sweet

JackieP1023 · August 2014

What were your successes this week? We started a new sitter yesterday, and it seemed to go well. Our house is *almost* back to normal after a couple of crazy weeks. (2 sets of bedding is currently in the dryer... and has been the past couple of days... oops)

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? Finding a new routine for the couple of days a week that I work. The new sitter is across town, so I have to leave earlier and work through lunch to be off early enough to pick her up before the lady 'closes'.

What helped save your sanity? Looking forward to DD's doctor appointment on Thursday. We were worried going into the 4 month appointment, because we could tell she wasn't gaining weight like she should. Now, we are looking forward to the reassurance that things are going well (weight-wise). Also, looking forward to our short weekend getaway... even though we are going with FIL, SIL/BIL/nephew, and me MH, and DD (all in a house trailer... should be fun).

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household? We are basically hanging in there, day to day, paycheck to paycheck. We are still making the same amount (roughly) that we were pre-baby, with all of the extra baby expenses. We have stopped eating out (as much), and are actively working to cut back on other unnecessary expenses (consolidating trips to town-sometimes running errands for a full day, rather than a few here and there over the course of several days--we live 30+ minutes from town). We are flexing my part time schedule around MH's the best we can, minimizing our child care expenses. And my ILs help us here and there too. (FIL will be replacing 2 tires on my car in the near future). We are actually still saving some here and there (we have to, in order to be able to afford our 'vacation' next month... which is actually visiting my family more so than an actual vacation).

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others? From my childhood, (from what I can remember)... Boxcar Children, Little House on the Prairie series. For LO... probably the shutterfly photo book I made of my family. I am working on a Bearenstein Bears book collection for DD, and I also have several Dr. Seuss books.

Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.

rachaelmary · August 2014

Hi ladies!! Can I join in on this check in?

What were your successes this week?-DH had the day off yesterday, so we went out for breakfast for the first time with LO! It was a big step for us. We also managed to go to a big family bbq at the beach about an hour away from us for the day. LO did great and hardly fussed!

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?-LO is not napping well...only about 20-30 mins each time, even though she's tired. Not sure how to get her to nap longer...I try letting her fuss for a bit in her crib, and she'll sometimes put her head back down and close her eyes for 30 seconds, but then just shoot her head back up and start fussing again. She has a tooth poking through so i'm wondering if that is the reason she isn't napping well.

What helped save your sanity?-DH had the day off yesterday, so a shorter week with just me at home. MIL is off this week as well so i'm planning on hanging out with her a lot at her place which will be great, as the dog then gets a big backyard to run around in and another dog to play with.

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household? -Im still on MAT leave so I'm bringing in some income...but i'm just now trying to reign in my spending...i see my savings account going down and I need to start being more disciplined with my spending.

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?-hmmm i honestly dont have a favourite book from childhood! I can't wait for LO to be old enough to read Harry Potter, though...but that wont be for a long time .

shellbell3845 · August 2014

What were your successes this week?

Getting home from a trip on Wednesday (which was basically 6 days of single parenting -- there were other people around, but no one to help with bed, etc.) and getting everything turned around to leave again tomorrow.

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?

DH and I had a little spat (about money, coincidentally), and that ruined what was shaping up to be a very nice weekend for me.

What helped save your sanity?

Got out of the house every single day. Actually got to read a book during naptime.

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household?

DH and I had a big argument about money. Basically, his philosophy is save save save and he's always worried about the bottom line. He acts as though we're on the verge of bankruptcy, even though we're not even close. So I'm not a "real" SAHM -- I work PT, but not during the summer. (And even when I start back to work, you're not getting rid of me...muahahah). This year we'll actually be making more money than last year, except we'll have the added expense of daycare. Last year I made very little money, so that actually helped us get in the mindset of what our income would be. It's not like I gave up a $50k job to SAH. But I try my best to keep our spending in check -- couponing, use the library, shop at places like Aldi, make fewer purchases for myself. I absolutely have no problem treating myself or buying myself something I want/need, and I encourage my H to do the same. As long as we're being financially responsible, I think it will all even out.

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

From my childhood: Berenstein Bears, Amelia Bedelia, Boxcar Children, American Girl. My Dad read me "Goodnight Moon" every night before bed when I was little. My favorite books for LO are Goodnight Moon, Little Blue Truck, Baby Bear Sees Blue, Me and My Mom... I don't know what kind of early chapter books little boys read, so I'm eager to see what LO's interests are and what types of things he wants to read.

Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns you are having.

Thanks @Meghan14 for doing this again this week! You're the best! (And the rest of you aren't so bad either.)

JackieP1023 · August 2014

shellbell3845 said:
(snip)
DH and I had a big argument about money. Basically, his philosophy is save save save and he's always worried about the bottom line. He acts as though we're on the verge of bankruptcy, even though we're not even close. So I'm not a "real" SAHM -- I work PT, but not during the summer. (And even when I start back to work, you're not getting rid of me...muahahah). This year we'll actually be making more money than last year, except we'll have the added expense of daycare. Last year I made very little money, so that actually helped us get in the mindset of what our income would be. It's not like I gave up a $50k job to SAH. But I try my best to keep our spending in check -- couponing, use the library, shop at places like Aldi, make fewer purchases for myself. I absolutely have no problem treating myself or buying myself something I want/need, and I encourage my H to do the same. As long as we're being financially responsible, I think it will all even out.

----------------------------------------Stuck in Box-------------------------------------------------
I could have written this almost word for word. Between MH and I, he is the saver. If we have less than x amount of money in savings, we are 'broke'. He acts like we are on the verge of bankruptcy... but really, we aren't. We are able to pay our 'normal' expenses (including satellite and our smartphones-not 'necessities' in my mind... but they are in his), and still pay chunks of other bills each month (we are currently focusing on paying off our RE bill and hospital bills from during pregnancy & delivery. Paying a little at a time is how we are doing it, so we can be paying on both) Those should be paid off by the end of the year, and then we can focus on paying down our credit cards. (We have a few, and all of them have relatively small balances-large enough we can't pay them off each month, but small enough that when we are able to focus on paying them, they will be paid off within 3-4 months). Between the two of us, we own 3 cars (and have insurance/expenses for all 3). We aren't doing badly by any means... he just freaks out because he is used to having pretty full bank accounts, and we have drained them down quickly, between our RE expenses, me being on MBR for most of the pregnancy, and now baby expenses. DD also has a small little chunk of money in her savings account that we won't touch, but plan to add to it every so often.

Ibliss · August 2014

What were your successes this week?
I feel like I am running a marathon. I am barely keeping on top of everything but my success is exactly that; I am keeping on top of my 'to do' list.

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?
Also a single parent like a few of us this week while DH travels. And getting everything ready for our 10 day road trip. Plus keeping the house running... Honestly I am getting overwhelmed. I try to take it one day at a time because otherwise I want to curl up in a corner and ignore my long 'to do' list.

What helped save your sanity?
Maybe this is silly but I have been finding all these Pinterest ideas for activities for LO now and as she grows. Of course this takes time away from the 'to do' list.

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household?
We are fortunate that DH got a promotion and a raise so we make more now then when we both worked. My DH sounds like some PPs. Save, save, save. Which is good... But I don't want to constantly wonder if I can buy xyz without a guilt trip about savings. (To clarify DH is usually fine with it but I 'feel' guilty even still).

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

Our new favorite books are the touch and feel 'That's not my...' Books by Usborne.

@Meghan14‌ I love it when DH recognized all effort I put into the house. Yay for you!

Meghan14 · August 2014

@armfruit : I'm glad to hear your friends are being more accommodating. I hope seeing your mom went well and that you have fun with your BFF. I'm sorry you're solo parenting. I find when DH is gone for 2-3 days I enjoy it, when it's a week I'm miserable. (Before LO I enjoyed any length trip). Your DH's newish job sounds like it came at the perfect time. I will have to look for the Pete Cat books.

@MadisonPenny : We started solids Sunday! I am glad your LO is starting to get the hang of them. Right now we're just enjoying watching him mush stuff on the highchair tray and the faces he makes when something actually makes it to his mouth. I am envious of couponing people. I always clip or go online and save to my card and then forget to use them.

I'm glad I'm not alone in my crazy need to justify.

@BMBrinson : I am sorry working this week is stressful. I am going to do some looking for the Monster at the End of This Book.

Meghan14 · August 2014

@anji1820 : Yay for finding a new day care and that you get a little extra time at home.

I'm sorry you are feeling anxious about daycare. ((HUGS)) I can see that leaving LO would be nerve-racking. I also loved Little House as a kid.

@Karlamo : How are you liking the new place? I'm sorry you are dealing with contractors. ugh! I am so sorry about the night terrors. Those must be as hard on you as they are on LO.

Meghan14 · August 2014

@sjewood : I hope you and DH get a balance worked out soon, that can be tough. Yay for getting more sleep! I forgot all about "Place You'll Go." I should get that.

@carleys : I am sorry the house hunting isn't going well. I second you on the importance of pedis. I'm hoping to go this week. I was a little obsessed with "Island of the Blue Dolphins" in 4th grade and you've just reminded me to grab my Shel Silverstein from my parents' house when I visit.

Meghan14 · August 2014

@JackieP1023 Please update us about the appointment and adjusting to back to work. Enjoy you're family get away! I hope it all goes well. I'm so excited to see someone else who loved Boxcar children! A shutterfly book is a good idea.

@rachelmary : Welcome!

:-h

The beach BBQ sounds nice. We also struggle with naps. No advice, just sympathy. I am sure the dog will enjoy that and you will enjoy the adult interaction. (BTW- how is your dog? Wasn't he sick or hurt recently? Or maybe I'm confused.) I've never read HP. I was hoping to read it to my nieces but they dismissed it as "for boys." They say this about all sorts of stuff and it makes my blood boil. I am looking forward to reading it with LO.

Meghan14 · August 2014

@Shellbell3845 : You got to read a book?!? Jealous!

I'm sorry you and H had a fight. I think your philosphy towards money is healthy and I am sorry DH has a different view. Maybe he could hang out with my dad? We would hope not to ever be rid of you. Another Boxcar fan :-bd

@Jessasuarus2008 : 3 weeks of solo parenting sounds super rough. Please post pics of some of the furniture. I did a few pieces myself with yard sale finds, but that was years ago.

@Ibliss : great job keeping on top of your to do list! Confession: I've never gone on Pinterest, but think I will start as LO gets older. I hope the roadtrip goes well.

Thanks to all of you! I asked about books because I selfishly want to build LOs library and now I have some great ideas.

MissDemeanor · August 2014

What were your successes this week?

-my Inlaws have been here all week, and they are still alive.

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week?

- see above

What helped save your sanity?

- I'm not clear if anything has, I'm feeling worse every day. Although last night in laws went out and my bf and I got to watch a movie alone, which was great.

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household? As of this week we're actually stay at home parents. My bf is on parental leave for 8 months. He gets some money, but mostly we'll be living off savings. It sounds crazy, but this is something we've planned since before I got pregnant. I'm not sure how we'll adjust to such a drastic change.

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

I love Anne of Green Gables, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Royal Dahl, and a million others. I can't wait to share them with Reece. Right now we read DR Seuss and Robert Munch a lot, which I think are super fun to read out loud.

lbalek2 · August 2014

Sorry I'm a few days late...
Successes and challenges: Almost the same thing lol. We took our first plane ride to California this past week with LO. She did pretty well! A few fussy moments but not the full out crying baby on the plane moment. It's so much more complicated traveling with a little one.

What helped save your sanity?:
See old friends and family that I haven't seen in 7 years! They met MH and DD for the first time. It was a great, relaxing vacation

Topic of the week:
We are doing our best sticking to a budget. Eat out less, buy less "stuff", etc. We are definitely bringing in less than before LO which means almost nothing gets put into savings

. This is temporary though because DH is at a new job and is still in training. Once he finishes training, he will get a big pay raise! Then we can start saving again. I'm the big saver in this relationship

.

GTKY: I loved Dr Suess and the Bernstein Bears when I was real little.

Meghan14 · August 2014

@Misdemeanor : Sorry you've been dealing with ILs. I am sorry that you feel things are worse each day. We are here for you if you need us. It does sound amazing though that you will both be home. Good luck with that!

@Ibalek2 : It must have been so nice for your friends to meet LO.

goobermom · August 2014

What were your successes this week?

Reconnected with an old friend via FB this week. She also had a baby last Feb and we now have plans to get together and take our babies to the zoo!

What was your biggest challenge or
struggle this week?

I got a really bad plugged duct a couple of days ago. Ouch!

What helped save your sanity?

Well, my MIL helped me pick and clean green beans from my garden, and then DH helped me can them. It's something that I've been needing to do and has been bugging me, so getting it off of my to-do list has helped me a lot. Also see question #1. Also, our internet was out for a while and we finally got it back up again. That is huge for me!

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household?

Well, I was making so little before that it really hadn't impacted us much... Just trying to stick to the budget, making fewer trips to town, etc.

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

Hmmm...I really love books so it's very hard to narrow things down... I love Dr. Seuss, cloudy with a chance of meatballs, the dumb bunnies books, the story of ping, the 14 bears summer and winter, Richard Scarry (sp?) books, Eric Carle books...I could keep going all day...

Feel free to bring up any other thoughts, feelings, or concerns
you are having.

rexgirl06 · August 2014

What were your successes this week? Trying to think.....we got blinds installed in our house! So our house doesn't look as empty!

What was your biggest challenge or struggle this week? My last week of work. So just trying to finish everything up and get ready for our move on Monday!

What helped save your sanity? I had a former employee come stay with baby for 2 hours each day while I worked on packing and cleaning. AND she refused to let me pay her. It was so nice....I'm not the only one who thinks how nice it would be to have someone like that on a daily basis just for an hour or two.

Topic for the week: How are you making things work with less income coming in to the household? We haven't hit this point yet but I plan to try and be better about looking for coupons, planning cheaper meals to offset bigger ones, and try to spend less on little things that add up like soda runs, fast food lunch etc.

GTKY: Favorite children's books. From your childhood? For LO? Others?

Growing up we read Sarah Plan and Tall and Toy House Dolls. With a boy, that won't be his thing, but I hope he will like Love You Forever.

rexgirl06 · August 2014

@Meghan14 I TOTALLY am the same way with spending. I've never gone crazy without warning DH that spending is coming. But if I impulsively by a $5 lunch, or $10 item, I feel like I have to justify, and tell him I saved the receipt in case the expense is not okay. In 4 years of marriage, I still can't just convince myself that he is fine with what I spend.

Karlamo · August 2014

@meghan14. We LOVE the house! I wasn't as sold on it as @mamosey but I'm in love now too. I feel like we can stretch our arms.

Quick update. I'm surviving without the wife around this week. I realize with her gone what a great team we make. Dang it's hard running a house, taking care of a baby and working! How the hell do single moms do this. They must be super heros in my book!!

@MissDemeanor‌, reading about your in laws makes me ask. Would you rather have your in laws stay for 1 week with you or your partner gone for 1 week? Right now I may just pick the inlaws :P

MissDemeanor · August 2014

@Karlamo Never the Inlaws! I will always pick option B. Unless I'm in the mood to become a servant. Their version of helping is holding the baby while I act like a short order cook/maid. And that's the nicest thing I have to say about them.

I'm sorry your wife is away though, I know it must be hard for you, especially when R isn't sleeping well.

JackieP1023 · August 2014

Just a quick follow-up. DD's 6mo appt was today. She gained about 3.5 lbs in 2 months, so she jumped from 3% up to 25% for weight! She only grew 1/2" though, length wise. I find that hard to believe, simply because since her last appointment, she has outgrown 0-3m, 3m, and 3-6m sleepers, just because of the length. Doctor isn't concerned about that, yet. Otherwise, baby girl is perfectly healthy... And is teething (she has been for awhile, but we can actually see the white spots of her 2 bottom teeth!)

Meghan14 · August 2014

@JackieP1023 : Great news on the weight! I remember being so relieved when LO went from 2nd to 9th percentile in weight, you must be thrilled with 25th! My pedi said they get chubby, then taller, then chubby, then taller. So hopefully the length will be soon.

@Karlamo : I'm glad you like the new place. But I'm with @MissDemeanor : I'd rather be alone for a week then have ILs, or even my parents, stay for a week. @Armfruit : I agree that SO's who don't help would be so frustrating. My sister is so much better off now as a single mom than she as married to her asshole ex. At least she isn't expected to keep the house clean and all the other BS he thought a wife should do. When the kids are in bed and she's exhausted she can rest with a glass of wine instead of having a major fight.

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