WWYD re: pumping (yes, my 900th pumping question) and BFing in general

MickeyM04 · July 2014

OK so I am on the fence of what to do and am just curious what other working mommies would do in this situation.

So. DD did NOT sleep through the night last night so I skipped my pre-work pump because on ML, if she got up during the night to eat and I pumped after she woke up for the day, I would get maybe an oz, tops. With all we have going on to get out the door in the morning (plus DS is sick today), I figured not worth it for an oz. I also hoped maybe I would just get A TON at work this morning and problem solved. Well no, I got about the same at my first pump that I got all last week. I was able to accumulate 4 extra oz this weekend after she slept through the night twice and I pumped both mornings. Last week I got 14 oz on Monday and Tuesday, and 12-13 on Wednesday-Friday. She was sent home with a bottle on Monday and one on Tuesday so I had 7 extra oz for the week because I send her with 4 3.5 oz bottles. Wednesday and Friday she took all 14 oz all 3 days. Let's assume (big assumption I know), that she takes 14 oz a day every day, and I pump as I have been averaging at about 13/day (I figure I got 14 two days last week, but I got 12 a couple days and 13 one day). That leaves me 5 oz short for the week. Theoretically I'm almost fine right now, because I banked 4 this weekend. So if I added one pump in the a.m. or at bedtime I could definitely get an oz or two. That being said, she's obviously going to move on to bigger bottles at some point in the not too distant future. AND I might not be able to bank 4 extra oz every weekend (if she doesn't STTN for example).

Now, if you're still following me (thank you so much by the way), here's my dilemma. I only BF'ed DS for about 6 months because I needed to get back on a medication that is not compatible with breastfeeding. (And if you don't mind, I don't care to debate the benefits of me getting on the medication, or whether the risks to DD of getting the medication through my breastmilk outweigh the benefits of BFing.) So I basically figure likely the same thing will happen this time around and I'm likely going to be weaning in 3 months if not sooner. If you knew that was your timeline, would you go to a crapload of trouble to boost your supply, add extra pumps, etc. so you can send 100% BM to DC every day? Or would you say, screw it, if I need to wean in 3 months anyway, I'm not going to kill myself to pump enough, if she gets 1-2 oz of formula a day, who cares.

I'm just wondering if it's worth my "sanity" so to speak to try to add in a pump here, a pump there, pump extra on weekends, drink supply boosting tea, etc. etc. etc. for an extra couple of oz a week when I know in 3 months I will likely be doing the opposite (decreasing pump sessions, drinking no more milk tea, etc.). It's hard because I'm so close right now, it's like are you really that much of a dick that you can't be bothered to add in a 9pm pump every night to make an extra oz for the next day? On the other hand I know it's only going to get harder to meet her demands as she gets bigger and should I work that hard to meet the demands so that in 3 months I can just do the opposite and try to wean her. WWYD? I know I have to do what's right for me and her, but I just can't decide what that is right now.

MickeyM04 · July 2014

Thanks @PrivacyWanted, that sort of is what I was getting at. If I knew I was going to BF for a year, I'd want to boost my supply as much as possible to make that happen. But I'm wondering if it's worth it for such a short stretch of time. This is also coming from someone who had an EPIC case of mastitis while weaning DS because of oversupply so part of me is like please let's avoid this at all costs again. It's just sort of a psychological thing...if I was shy 8 or 9 oz a day I'd be like, well F this, it ain't gonna happen, I cannot find a way to pump an extra 40 oz a week. When it's only 1 oz I feel like an A-hole to not want to make time for a pump at home, an extra couple of pumps on weekends, or what have you, to make up the 5 total oz.

Also I hope you are right, maybe she won't need much more. DS started at 3.5 oz bottles and then moved to 4 and then moved to 5 and I think when I started weaning him he was on 6 oz bottles. And the number of bottles didn't decrease so I went from needing 14 oz a day to 24. So I think that's also where my head is at right now, I feel like she's going to need that much and it ain't gonna happen so "why bother." But you're right, I shouldn't let that govern my decision.

ricekez · July 2014

I loathe pumping, so keep that in mind as you read my answer.
Since you're planning to switch your DD to formula at 6 months, anyway, I wouldn't stress about sending 100% breast milk. Pump what you pump at work, pump when you want to at home, and if you come up a little short, look at it as a chance to get her used to formula. I personally pump enough to keep up a freezer stash because I won't (foreseeably) be weaning my DS before he's 18 months old, and I don't typically have supply problems, so I have no personal experience. But if I were in your situation, I wouldn't stress about an ounce of formula here and there.

sarahice · July 2014

Lurker here- But I just want to say I feel your pain. With my first DD I was in your shoes and chose to kill myself adding extra pumping sessions in b/c I felt like formula was the devil:) Hindsight is 20/20 and I would never do that to myself again. It caused me serious stress and anxiety. I am due to have anoth DD in a few weeks and this one will get formula here and there if the BM runs out. So not worth the stress.

Also, just to echo the other posted my DD never took anything more than a 4 oz bottle at a time and she was on BM for a full year. Good luck momma!

MickeyM04 · July 2014

Definitely appreciate your input ladies. And thank you for the lack of judgment regarding timing of weaning, etc. Believe me, if I could go longer without putting my health in jeopardy I would, but I let myself become very ill even to keep DS on BM until 6 months and I am not going to make the same mistake again. And yes, formula is definitely not the devil, and I thought I would appreciate that this time around since DS did great on formula and it actually helped his reflux. But lo and behold here I am with DD panicking about her getting maybe an oz of formula a day. @sarahice, GL with your new LO! I hope you have a smooth delivery!

dashofreality · July 2014

First of all anyone judging you for how you feed your baby can suck it. 2nd I agree with @privacywanted.

Also, I will add that I stressed with my first (especially because she was a preemie with jaundice) about how much she was eating. I was always concerned that I wasn't pumping enough, and I jumped through hoops and supplemented. It wasn't until I had DS (9lbs to his sister's 5lbs) that I realized that my body really did know what my kids needed. I was easily pumping twice what I did with DD, because he has always been at the top of the charts and just ate more.

I think the BM is best, but that doesn't make formula bad. Stressing about BM is awful though and personally not worth it to me.

MickeyM04 · July 2014

We are gone 11 hours so it's questionable how much DD will need. I can definitely see her going up past 14 oz in that time period. Although she's very petite so it's possible not by much. I'm just wondering, if I keep pumping what I pump while I'm at work, and only give formula in the daycare bottle (or bottles) that need it, could it still kill my supply? Because I would still nurse her at home as much as she wanted and I wouldn't reduce my pumping sessions at work if I were adding in formula, I would just top off with whatever she needed.

welly01 · July 2014

I think it would depend on your own personal goals. I was really, really hung up on getting to a year EBF, so I did whatever was necessary to keep up my supply (night and weekend pumping, etc). But if you know you're going to wean in a few months and will be giving formula, I don't think I'd stress about it. Obviously if you're dead set on making it to 6 months EBF, then you might need to take some steps to keep up your supply. What about lactation cookies? I think that's a stress-free (and DELICIOUS!!) way to help your supply. If they work, great! If not, enjoy your cookie!!

Also, I will agree with PP's that DS topped out at 4 oz bottles. I know some babies take more, but a lot of time its because the DCP is not familiar with how to bottle feed a BF baby.

Good luck with your decision.

Slb22 · July 2014

As a FTM who EBF's I totally relate to how stressful this is. If it were me, and I knew I had a hard deadline as you do, I would supplement with formula on the days that you don't pump enough. The thought of pumping at home, nights, weekends is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I also say that as someone who can't make up her mind on how long I want to keep EBF. I know I will feel better once I make that decision. I never really had plans to make it for the whole year. though and thought I would just do it for as long as it works. So take my comments with a grain of salt.

MickeyM04 · July 2014

Ah, that makes sense, @PrivacyWanted. I guess I am just sort of like throwing my hands up all confused because I keep pumping less than she takes at daycare, and they are so good about re-offering bottles and such, and she literally is polishing off all 4, eating every 3 hours (her first feeding at daycare is 3 hours after I feed her, and then she eats every 3 hours thereafter). But I am consistently not pumping that much. So I don't get where the disconnect is.

thedash · July 2014

With both of my kids I started letting their DCP give them one bottle of formula from time to time shortly after I returned to work. Too much supplementing too early or over a long time will reduce your supply but I chose my daily sanity over that worry. I think they are both perfectly fine so my advice is to do whatever is best for your family right now!

MickeyM04 · July 2014

@ClaryPax, you are right, 11 hours is a lot to be gone. Unfortunately I am an attorney and in my area, about 90% of the attorney jobs are located in the city, which is about an hour+ commute (if you include driving time and train time). So I'm only in the office 8 hours but I'm commuting about an hour and a half. Hence it's also hard to add in a pump to match how many times she eats, because to pump 4 times at work is to pump every 2 hours in an 8 hour day...and I pump for about 25 minutes (that's how long it takes to empty) so I would literally be pumping, then stopping, then pumping an hour and a half later. Plus with court and depositions, etc., often I cannot even make time for the 3, because I'm out of the office all morning. When you take into account that I'm also on the train for most of my commute and therefore cannot pump in the car, it's literally me pumping the most times I can afford to pump. That being said, it is probably easy for me to add in a pump at night after she goes to bed, or after she finishes eating in the morning. It's just annoying is all, as I'm sure most of us can relate to. Especially because it makes me paranoid to pump before I go to bed because occasionally she wakes up soon after and is hungry. So then I'm pumping and I'm all stressed worrying is she going to need to eat as soon as I finish (which yes, I could give her what I just pumped if I was empty but then wasn't that a big waste of time?). And then in the morning when she finishes eating, I could pump easily and know she won't need to eat until she's at daycare, but alas, after she finishes eating in the morning, if she hasn't STTN, I only get an oz or so, and it's like why add one other thing in the morning to get one stinking oz. (Which I know, it's all liquid gold, but when you're trying to get yourself, your husband, a two year old and a three month old out the door in the morning, 10 minutes of pumping is a huge PITA.)

I think everyone is right and it comes down to my own sanity. I have to decide how crazy I want to make myself and also how much effort to put into something that I know I'm only doing for probably 3 more months tops. If it's going to make me miserable it's probably not worth it to have her EBF for maybe another couple of months before I start weaning. I may try for a week or so to see how I feel adding a 9pm pump. If it's no biggie then that's something I can probably keep up with for awhile.

DiveFrog · July 2014

I just wanted to let you know that my DD never took more than 14 ounces. By the time she was ready for "more" she was older than 6 months and we had started adding solids to her diet, so she never needed more BM. So, just a thought that you might be over thinking everything a bit, especially if you are fairly confident that you will discontinue BF'ing in the next few months.

MickeyM04 · July 2014

Yeah, I think what it comes down to is how nuts I can/want to make myself. And if it's worth it in the end. I mean if adding a pump in at night ends up being no big deal, maybe DH has a glass of wine with me while I do it and we realize hmm, this is kind of not a big deal, then I'll probably do it. If it gets to be a real chore and I realize that at 4 months and think hey, I've only got 2 months left anyway, who cares if she gets 1 oz a day of formula for 2 months, then I may stop. I guess I really just have to play it by ear. I can't know whether it will suck or not until I try it.

I just said to DH that it kind of blows because I'm so close to making enough for her, it's like, hey, if I pump for 7-10 minutes at night, I can do it. If she needed 14 oz a day and I was pumping like 6 at work, I'd obviously know there's no way I can pump an extra 8 oz a day unless I add a pump at work (not possible), pump at night and before work, and probably once in the middle of the night too. And then I could just sort of throw in the towel and supplement. But since I'm so close it feels like I should make the minimal effort to get the extra oz. I just am so possessive of my time since we start our day at 5:00 a.m., and I literally don't sit my ass on the couch until 8:30 at night, and then I'm in bed 45 minutes to an hour later. So it's like taking 10 minutes of that seems like a much bigger deal than it is. I will give it a try for sure though and see where we end up. But I agree with all the PP who said that at the end of the day it's not a big deal, especially with 2-3 months to go before weaning, and especially if mommy is miserable.

JulyMumma · July 2014

I'd say pull out the formula and take those extra 7 or 10 minutes to do something for yourself, or with your husband or read an extra book or two to your kids. Life is too short to be hung up on food.

thedash · July 2014

I have to agree. I'm also an attorney and I know exactly what you're up against trying to pump with court hearings, etc. Don't look at it as "I'm so close that I should just spend the extra 10 minutes to get to 100%". Tell yourself "Even with my commute and crazy schedule I pump 90% of what she takes per day and that's awesome!"

SouthRNComfort · August 2014

You may be stressing yourself out over this unnecessarily. Can you just send what you pump to daycare? Sometimes I pump 14 and send that, sometimes I pump 16 and send that. My LO, 5 months old and sleeping through the night, drinks anywhere from 12-16 oz during my 11 hrs away from her while at daycare. I think if you are only off by an oz you are doing just fine. Babies don't always eat the same volume at every meal, just like adults. It's not as if your LO consumes 12 oz and you are only able to pump 6 per day. I too work long days so I understand. I often try to pump 3 times a day, but sometimes can only pump twice if it's super busy. Try to take advantage of morning pumps (when supply is the highest). I second the opinion of pumping on the train on your way to work, it seems like a good long opportunity to pump when your supply is the highest. I find that I can never pump well at night after LO has gone to bed.

DallasLonghorn97 · August 2014

52 months of BF and pumping during work across 3 kids here and I have always advocated...serve what you pump. If I read your post correctly, you are nursing when together and sending bottles when your at work. Assuming that's the case, this is not a probablem.

Also, BF babies do not increase their amounts like FF babies do. None of mine went beyond a 4 oz bottle.

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WWYD re: pumping (yes, my 900th pumping question) and BFing in general

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