Dang TDY's — The Bump
Military Families

Dang TDY's

Just found out DH has 15 TDY's scheduled over the next 12 months ranging anywhere from 1-3 weeks each and scattered all over the globe. Naturally we have no family around. I'm already worried about the constant goodbyes over and over again with a new baby. And it's super frustrating that all the "Mom's Groups" meet up during the day. I work full time and it makes it hard to make friends. 3 more years until retirement....I can do it!!!!


Re: Dang TDY's

  • A 3.5 y/o and one due in Jan. his particular unit doesn't have a spouses group or anything like that. And so far all the meet ups I've found are during the day.


  • Well, at least 1-3 weeks isn't too long in terms of being gone. I wouldn't worry too much about him leaving and returning and how it will effect the baby, they don't have any sense of time and will remember him once he comes back. It's really harder on your 3.5 yo. Just make sure you're taking time for yourself, maybe have someone come and help while he's gone and you have the newborn.

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  • Are you nursing?I have found great support and friendship with the ladies of my local La Leche League. They meet on weekdays and weekends and as a full time working mom I am able to meet on the weekends.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

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  • We've spent the last 8 years with DH being gone, between TDY and deployment, an average of 30 weeks out of ever year.  It's hard, but when the kids grow up with it, they don't know any different.  He's now gone from a high op tempo unit to a unit where he basically works a regular 8-5 job, is home every night and every weekend.  The kids think it's odd, but they love it.  
    If you can't find a spouse's group to join, look for others.  Do you go to church?  Find an evening Bible study or coffee group.  Our church has a group of ladies who meet and knit blankets for wounded Soldiers and ill veterans.  
    See if you can find a mom's group or hobby group in the area that meets in the evening or on weekends.  Hire a baby sitter once a week just so you can go to the store alone or get your toes done.  Give your self a break to breathe.  It's ok.  You have to take care of your self to be able to care for your babies.  
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    robsbabygirl08[Deleted User]
  • Well, at least 1-3 weeks isn't too long in terms of being gone. I wouldn't worry too much about him leaving and returning and how it will effect the baby, they don't have any sense of time and will remember him once he comes back. It's really harder on your 3.5 yo. Just make sure you're taking time for yourself, maybe have someone come and help while he's gone and you have the newborn.
    This isn't necessarily true.  Yes, 1-3 weeks isn't too long and yes they don't understand the concept of time, but my DH has been gone for the same and it's caused a stranger danger issue with DD.  She was fine with him when he left when she was 2.5 mos.  Has been terrified of him since he got back at the 3 month mark.  We'll get her used to it again just in time for DH to go underway again.  Good times, good times.  DS on the other hand (almost 3) seems to be adjusting pretty well to Daddy being gone periodically.  We just got through a deployment though, so the concept of Daddy being gone for work isn't new at all to him.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

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