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Shower for STM of twins?

ahbEsqahbEsq member
in Baby Showers
I have a friend who is due with twins in December.  Her DD will be 17 months when they are born, and she is expecting boys.  I know she is nervous about all of the stuff she needs for them.  I'm thinking about offering to throw her a shower.  Would this be taboo?  I know generally you never get showers for STMs (and I am dissuading all of the offers I get as I am a STM-to-be) but is there any exception when the second pregnancy is twins of the opposite gender?  She needs a second set of all of the big items she already has and probably needs some non-girly clothes.  (I'm giving her my DS's hand me downs but that's only enough for one baby).  I haven't discussed this with my friend yet bc I want to know what type of shower/sprinkle I should offer, or should I not offer anything.  Any suggestions are appreciated.

BFP #1 natural mc 4/24/2012 5w1d 
BFP #2 DS born 3/30/2013 
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Re: Shower for STM of twins?

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  • ahbEsqahbEsq member
    That's about what I figured.  And I didn't even think about that even though I want to do something for her, the rest of our friends might not so soon after I threw her a shower last year (duh!).  I just wish I could do more!  I'd lend her all of our baby gear but I'll be using it at the same time she will since our due dates are one day off.

    BFP #1 natural mc 4/24/2012 5w1d 
    BFP #2 DS born 3/30/2013 
    BFP #3 cp 2/6/2014 
    BFP #4 natural mc 3/19/2014 5w6d 
    BFP #5 4/27/2014 EDD 12/24/2014 --IT'S A GIRL!

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  • VORVOR member
    This is the kind of thing where if a GOOD friend of mine was having twins, I'd have no issue with being invited to a small shower for her - made up of other GOOD friends.  I know a lot of people with twins and I know how overwhelming it can be at first.  I'd be more than happy to help out.

    But the emphasis there is on SMALL shower of GOOD friends.

    Opposite sex means absolutely nothing to me.  I've never understood that as an excuse to have a shower.  If someone registered for 100% gender NON-neutral stuff, then that's on them.  And even so- boys can wear pink/ use pink stuff and vice versa. 
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  • mermaid1113mermaid1113 member
    VOR said:
    This is the kind of thing where if a GOOD friend of mine was having twins, I'd have no issue with being invited to a small shower for her - made up of other GOOD friends.  I know a lot of people with twins and I know how overwhelming it can be at first.  I'd be more than happy to help out.

    But the emphasis there is on SMALL shower of GOOD friends.

    Opposite sex means absolutely nothing to me.  I've never understood that as an excuse to have a shower.  If someone registered for 100% gender NON-neutral stuff, then that's on them.  And even so- boys can wear pink/ use pink stuff and vice versa. 
    I agree. I am the odd one out on this topic on these boards because 2nd showers are a "norm" in my circle. I get both sides of the spectrum, but I agree that keeping it smaller may be better. 
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  • VORVOR member
    MaybeKatie10 said:

    I think a GOOD friend doesn't need an 'invitation' to send her pregnant friend a gift. 


    I fully agree.  I'm simply saying that I personally would not be put off by being invited to a small shower for a good friend.
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    VOR said:
    This is the kind of thing where if a GOOD friend of mine was having twins, I'd have no issue with being invited to a small shower for her - made up of other GOOD friends.  I know a lot of people with twins and I know how overwhelming it can be at first.  I'd be more than happy to help out.

    But the emphasis there is on SMALL shower of GOOD friends.

    Opposite sex means absolutely nothing to me.  I've never understood that as an excuse to have a shower.  If someone registered for 100% gender NON-neutral stuff, then that's on them.  And even so- boys can wear pink/ use pink stuff and vice versa. 
    I was going to say the same thing, if I was invited to a shower for a dear friend of mine under these specific circumstances I wouldn't blink an eye and would happily go.  But that's just my opinion, the fact that you are so unsure makes me think this might not be the best idea.  I liked pp's ideas about all getting together for a spa day and going in a bigger ticket item for her.
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  • chicagojackiechicagojackie member
    All of this woman's "good" friends will likely give her gifts shower or not.

    Save the shower money and get her a great gift card or consider asking your close girlfriends in the group if they all want to go in on two new car seats or something.

    Don't do the second shower.
    BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012
    BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
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  • cozybluebearcozybluebear member
    I wouldn't do a second shower... maybe have all her close friends and family get together for dinner or a BBQ. Just a chance for her to see everyone before baby arrives. Maybe surprise her by asking everyone to bring a pack of diapers. She'll need a lot of those and it's no pressure on the guests to bring a present.
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  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie member

    It's a lovely idea on your part, especially since you already shelled out for a shower last year for her.  But as most PP's have said, you only get one baby shower.

    Save the money you were thinking about budgeting and buy her a gift, give her a gift card, pay for a prenatal massage or something else to congratulate her on her twins.

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